This is an interesting situation, I'd like to hear to thoughts on it.
One of my best friends has been seeing a girl for about two years. Since the beginning of the relationship he's tried to break up with her a few times, she's always managed to be 'good' for long enough to talk him out of it.. and on and on it goes. He's told me many times that he's not happy, but he's the nicest guy I've ever met and doesn't have the nerve to break up with her. I think he is, sometimes, happy with the relationship and sees the glass half full, and I'm seeing it 2/3 empty I think.
He called me tonight to ask me to perform the wedding ceremony in two weeks (I'm an ordained minister who is licensed by the state to do such things). I told him several times, I think it's a bad idea and he really needs to rethink it.. especially on such short notice.
His counter-point on it was very interesting.. I'll summarize it:
"Look, I figure if I'm going to make a mistake, it might as well be a cheap mistake.. so we'll have a small ceremony with you. She's not going to do anything bad enough for me to break up with her in the next year.. so I might as well go through with it now.. it (marriage) is going to happen eventually anyways."
Again.. kind of the half glass full kind of mentality. I was very clear, I think it's a bad idea.. he seems insistent on it and in the end I told him he's my friend, I'll do it if he asks me to.
In the back of my mind thinking of kidnapping him with a bunch of our buddies, taking him out in the woods and beating some sense into him. What do you guys think? Do I bite my tongue and go through with something I know is doomed for failure or do I be more aggressive with my point?
Couple other notes:
1. Her mom and other relatives are all alcoholics, her dad died in a drug related shooting.. she has a lot of 'back pain' and takes medication 'for it.' I think it's nonsense and that she is also an addict.
2. In their latest fight he told her she was 'fat and lazy' and that he no longer had the desire to have sex with her. This is the truth coming out.
3. He's talking about having kids with her pretty soon already.
One of my best friends has been seeing a girl for about two years. Since the beginning of the relationship he's tried to break up with her a few times, she's always managed to be 'good' for long enough to talk him out of it.. and on and on it goes. He's told me many times that he's not happy, but he's the nicest guy I've ever met and doesn't have the nerve to break up with her. I think he is, sometimes, happy with the relationship and sees the glass half full, and I'm seeing it 2/3 empty I think.
He called me tonight to ask me to perform the wedding ceremony in two weeks (I'm an ordained minister who is licensed by the state to do such things). I told him several times, I think it's a bad idea and he really needs to rethink it.. especially on such short notice.
His counter-point on it was very interesting.. I'll summarize it:
"Look, I figure if I'm going to make a mistake, it might as well be a cheap mistake.. so we'll have a small ceremony with you. She's not going to do anything bad enough for me to break up with her in the next year.. so I might as well go through with it now.. it (marriage) is going to happen eventually anyways."
Again.. kind of the half glass full kind of mentality. I was very clear, I think it's a bad idea.. he seems insistent on it and in the end I told him he's my friend, I'll do it if he asks me to.
In the back of my mind thinking of kidnapping him with a bunch of our buddies, taking him out in the woods and beating some sense into him. What do you guys think? Do I bite my tongue and go through with something I know is doomed for failure or do I be more aggressive with my point?
Couple other notes:
1. Her mom and other relatives are all alcoholics, her dad died in a drug related shooting.. she has a lot of 'back pain' and takes medication 'for it.' I think it's nonsense and that she is also an addict.
2. In their latest fight he told her she was 'fat and lazy' and that he no longer had the desire to have sex with her. This is the truth coming out.
3. He's talking about having kids with her pretty soon already.
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