GayWay - the gay and lesbian discussion (aka. Any Gays here?)

[slooksterPSV]

Way off topic, but I just have to tell you guys this:
[Today I woke up at like 8:35 and got ready to leave town, get a check from an attorney. The check would go to a car place, cause my dad bought a brand new vehicle. Well at least like 30% of his settlement. 50% of it went to the attorney, courts, etc. etc. ya know. So we go and pick up the check - I've held $30,200 in a check before. After that, we go pickup my dad in another city and go back to the other city and get something to eat. It was about lunch time. Next we head back to the attorney's office to get the rest of the money. He gives my dad a check so we head to the bank. He goes in and comes back out with 11,000 in cash (in 20's) and 9000 in money orders or whatever they're called. I've held $11,000 in cash before too. It was my first time also, smelling new car smell.]
Here's the last thing: I might get my new iBook within the next 5 days. We're going to go down to CompUSA. I have $50 as well that he gave to me today.

 

[scem0]

I'll be getting my powerbook, so we can feel the joy of a new computer together .

_Emerson

 

[slooksterPSV]

I'll be getting my powerbook, so we can feel the joy of a new computer together .

_Emerson

Ha ha - its late, let's just say that. Sorry I was listening to Gayborhood Radio - Best Podcast in the world. I was metioned on #42 GO ME!

See. I need sleep now. Luv you guys.

 

[Grey Beard]

The OT Powerbooks - Delicious

I'll be getting my powerbook, so we can feel the joy of a new computer together ._Emerson

What size powerbooks are you and Slookster getting? I've got a yen for another Mac and a 20" G5 iMac was near to being purchased. For some unknown reason, my enthusiasm is waning. But like all good emotions, it'll be back, maybe just a different model.
Kevin
aka Grey Beard

 

[scem0]

The brand new 15 incher , I'm super excited.

_Emerson

 

[noaccess]

First of all: Happy 'powerbooking' Em and Slookster, and happy iMacing to Grey Beard!

Then get your butt on a plane and do some traveling. The world can be a surprisingly wonderful place.

Yeah, I will when I have the opportunity. Besides, if I don't, I might be in the center of a possible bird flu pandemic (really hope there won't be one).

Not impossible at all. I am naturally VERY thin-like heroin addict thin. At my lightest, I was 145# at 6'3" and ate as much as I wanted. At 27, my doctor became concerned and told me to eat even more. When I told him I ate like a pig already, he told me I had to get my butt to a gym and lift weights. If I didn't, he said I was at risk for a heart attack because my weight was so low! So with the help of a friend who was in the Navy, I started going to the gym and drinking protein shakes and eating more, etc. I had to make sure I ate at regular intervals all the time. That's tough, trust me. It took me 5-6 years to put on 40#. After that, I'd get maybe 1 or 2 pounds more a year. Now I'm at 195# and lean. I'm 38 years old and never looked better in my life. Weight management is HARD, whether you tend to be skinny or fat. It takes discipline and hard work, trust me.

I'll admit it, what you've been through was a tough situation. Good thing you had the will power to work that hard, despite everyone saying it was unachievable. Glad to see you're fine now and that you showed 'em what you're made of !
Sadly, not everyone is as strong as you are, especially when their life can be threatened. I met a girl last summer who at 5'7" weighed 80#. I was shocked to hear from a friend of hers that she didn't really care about changing her eating habits, despite the fact that she was perfectly capable of doing it. She was hardly eating anything. She has since moved in the other part of the coutry, and I hope that she realised that this can't go on forever.

So where do you live, where they dont allow drawing of a nude male model in a school? The human figure is the hardest thing of all to draw. But when your inspired you'll see progress in your drawings. I know I did with the male model yesterday vs. the female model a week or two ago.

I live in Romania. The pre-1989 communist regime here was one of the harshest in eastern Europe. I guess that's why the former president was tried and executed on Christmas day, and everyone also considered that he deserved it.... whatever.
Anyway, the important thing is that most people are ultra-conservative. And that if I told anyone at school that I was gay they'd do to me what they did to the guy mentioned previously . Plus extra.
And about drawings of nude models: I don't think they would allow this anywhere at all. If they did, and for example if there were a male model (assuming he would be payed more than $10), most of the female students would be petrified, and all of the male students would probably laugh their heads off...and a photo of the event would be released to the press...and the course would be cancelled altogether...and the naked guy under psychiatric supervision...and the professor fired (plus post-traumatic stress disorder). Oh well. If classes like these would be taken seriously, a lot of people might actually make progress (see, you did after you made a drawing of the male nude ).
And about me wanting to go to such a course: I was thinking that it would be fun to go to a private art course (try somehing new), not to mention the fact that I would really get the kind of inspiration I need to make some real art (if y'all know what I mean ).

Hey Neil,
When are you going to scan your work, put it up, and post a link for us all to play the critic?

Good idea. I think we're all looking forward to seeing you work.

 

[scem0]

I want everyone's opinion on a situation of mine.

My parents are 100% fine with me being gay, and we don't try to hide it. But my Mom is really worried about HIV/AIDS. When I came out the first thing she did was buy books about the gay community and AIDS. She keeps telling me that I'm statistically more likely to get AIDS because I'm gay, which is true to some degree, but the truth is that you can't get AIDS when you're not having sex or exchanging body fluids. I'm not sexually active and I'm a virgin. It's impossible for me to have AIDS. She doesn't seem to understand that when it comes to sex, my opinions and my morals have nothing to do with my sexual orientation. If I were straight I wouldn't have sex with any girl and the same applies to me now. I'm not going to have sex with anyone just because I'm attracted to them. There has to be intimacy, there has to be connection, and I have to know this person.

So, when I have sex for the first time, it will be with someone who I feel a profound connection with, I will feel 100% confident about having sex, and everything will be protected. That isn't risky behavior - yet my Mom worries anyways.

I just had a long conversation with her on the phone about all of this, and I could hear the worry in her voice. I told her the names of the clubs I go to and she googled them and now she's even more worried. I've never done anything significantly stupid my whole life, and she worries just the same. I love her to death and I hate to see her so distressed.

I haven't gone into details about my encounters in clubs , but to be honest I'd tell her everything I've ever done if she was to ask, but I know she wouldn't be able to understand how one can go to clubs and be provocative on the dance floor, and not be provocative off of it. She knows I'm a virgin, I've told her. I've told her that I dance with guys and that sometimes it becomes pretty intense. All of this worries her, but I have to be honest and tell her, it's better for both of us.

I just wish I could make her trust that what I do isn't risky at all. If there is one thing I'm sure about it's that you can't get HIV from dancing. I have done things in clubs which might be a tad bit risky, but nothing life threatening. It scares me that she is so worried about me contracting HIV when I'm so safe, and she knows that. Is there anything I can do to give her peace of mind?

_Emerson

 

[mpw]

...I've never done anything significantly stupid my whole life...

*looks at the glasses you're wearing in your avatar*

I disagree.

 

[Grey Beard]

A Mother's worry

I want everyone's opinion on a situation of mine.

She knows I'm a virgin, I've told her. I've told her that I dance with guys and that sometimes it becomes pretty intense. All of this worries her, but I have to be honest and tell her, it's better for both of us.

I just wish I could make her trust that what I do isn't risky at all. I have done things in clubs which might be a tad bit risky, but nothing life threatening. It scares me that she is so worried about me contracting HIV when I'm so safe, and she knows that. Is there anything I can do to give her peace of mind?_Emerson

Gosh, apart perhaps from wearing a chastity belt, a Hannibal Lechter mask and gving her the keys, not a hell of a lot I'm afraid.

You know that your Mam loves you very much ( as do we all ) and a Mother's love is unconditional and that's the gist of your question. She'll worry no matter what. This will be in part that while she's tried to self educate in the HIV Aids area, it will be only partial information and it's because of this that she's stressed / worried. Your Mam is not taking the 'emO quality' into consideration. Most folk only can hear what they want to hear, and while you're open and honest with what you discuss, reassurances can be glossed over. I really think that it's super that your Mam has such a deep concern for your wellbeing. What more can you do in making her realise that you are probably more aware of the dangers and risks with HIV, Aids and STD's. Not a lot. Just keep on being your open and honest self and hope that your inner nature'll show through and assuage her maternal worries.

I wouldn't give her the url to your blog though, for a while yet anyways.

Y'all should take note of Emerson's attitude.

Kevin
aka Grey Beard

 

[MontyZ]

Is there anything I can do to give her peace of mind?

How long ago did you come out? It may take a few years before the worry descreases and comfort level increases, no matter how accepting a parent is. If the parents don't blame or disown their gay children, they often feel some guilt or anguish about having a gay child, because they realize it's going to be a tougher world for them to live in ... the world is full of homophobes, some violently so. All you can do is reassure her, she will eventually realize that you'd be just as suceptible to HIV/AIDS whether you are gay or straight.

Also, I'd exercise some restraint in how much you tell your mom about what goes on in a club in NYC or your own dating/sex life. She's probably worried to death just about the fact that you live in NYC. No point in putting anything into her head that will only make her worry more.

It's also natural for a mother to worry about her baby! So, just do what you can to reassure her that you are not being irresponsible or taking drugs or going to wild sex clubs ... even if you are.

 

[scem0]

*looks at the glasses you're wearing in your avatar*

I disagree.

nice .

Gosh, apart perhaps from wearing a chastity belt, a Hannibal Lechter mask and gving her the keys, not a hell of a lot I'm afraid.

You know that your Mam loves you very much ( as do we all ) and a Mother's love is unconditional and that's the gist of your question. She'll worry no matter what. This will be in part that while she's tried to self educate in the HIV Aids area, it will be only partial information and it's because of this that she's stressed / worried. Your Mam is not taking the 'emO quality' into consideration. Most folk only can hear what they want to hear, and while you're open and honest with what you discuss, reassurances can be glossed over. I really think that it's super that your Mam has such a deep concern for your wellbeing. What more can you do in making her realise that you are probably more aware of the dangers and risks with HIV, Aids and STD's. Not a lot. Just keep on being your open and honest self and hope that your inner nature'll show through and assuage her maternal worries.

I wouldn't give her the url to your blog though, for a while yet anyways.

Y'all should take note of Emerson's attitude.

Kevin
aka Grey Beard

I'm afraid that this is my opinion as well, that there is nothing practical that I can do to make her stop worrying.

_Emerson

 

[scem0]

How long ago did you come out?

A couple months . Halfway through the summer.

Also, I'd exercise some restraint in how much you tell your mom about what goes on in a club in NYC or your own dating/sex life. She's probably worried to death just about the fact that you live in NYC. No point in putting anything into her head that will only make her worry more.

Yeah, I don't think she'll be reading my blog anytime soon .

It's also natural for a mother to worry about her baby! So, just do what you can to reassure her that you are not being irresponsible or taking drugs or going to wild sex clubs ... even if you are.

No, none of that for me . I'm content with dancing for now.

_Emerson

 

[leekohler]

A couple months . Halfway through the summer.



Yeah, I don't think she'll be reading my blog anytime soon .



No, none of that for me . I'm content with dancing for now.

_Emerson

There's not much you can do. She's your Mom and she'll worry no matter what. Mine still worry after many years. Wait til you get a boyfriend! Then she'll really worry. All you can do is reassure her that you're being safe, but don't think that the worry and concern will stop. You're her "baby" after all.

 

[slooksterPSV]

Look At My Siggy Brand Spankin New Ibook Whoooo Hoooo

 

[wdlove]

Sadly there isn't much that you can do, a Mom will always worry. You are correct it is with the sharing of bodily fluids that become risky. It only takes a small cut especially in the mouth or other mucousl skin tissue areas. We could always chat if you would like.

 

[DodgyThong]

there aint much that you can do Em - mum's gonna worry no matter what - you could be locked up in a padded room and she'd still worry about you. unlike you, i have no morals when it comes to that sex stuff - i figured, if my mum was going to worry, i might as well give her something to worry about.. so far i haven't got anything, which i think is statisticly surprising; i prolly should have died a few times by now. You should just be you and have a good time. I think mums work on reverse psychology - the more you tell them that there is nothing to worry about, the more they think that they need to be worried. or something. Oh well. good luck with it

 

[leekohler]

there aint much that you can do Em - mum's gonna worry no matter what - you could be locked up in a padded room and she'd still worry about you. unlike you, i have no morals when it comes to that sex stuff - i figured, if my mum was going to worry, i might as well give her something to worry about.. so far i haven't got anything, which i think is statisticly surprising; i prolly should have died a few times by now.

Yeah- I had a few scares in the 80's myself. After that, I'm always Mr. Safety First. I consider myself lucky not to have caught anything. Well- unless you count a few nasty cases of critters down there.

 

[iGary]

My dad and stepmom (mom passed away in '86) were really very good when I came out (about age 24, I think). My dad always did say that he didn't "get it," but he never held it against me, either.

Then I bought someone home. The tolerance got thin really quick and I even got an e-mail about that visit, to which I fired back a fairly heated response. They admitted it was just the real shock of a person being there - the real thing.

So yeah, just wait till you get a steady boyfriend!

Your mom's worry is fine, don't sweat it.

 

[DodgyThong]

wiat till you have to do the "mum i'm fine - they just want me to stay overnight in the hospital for observation, that's all... it's nothing" and try to get her to not worry over that!

 

[scem0]

Wait til you get a boyfriend!

So yeah, just wait till you get a steady boyfriend!

I'm waiting... Nothing's happening .

_Emerson

 

[iGary]

I'm waiting... Nothing's happening .

_Emerson

I told you to go online, foo.

 

[scem0]

I'm too scared and shy . It doesn't help that someone can say that they are one thing and then can be something else completely.

_Emerson

 

[iGary]

I'm too scared and shy . It doesn't help that someone can say that they are one thing and then can be something else completely.

_Emerson

That's why you e-mail and talk a lot first.

I met Rob online. 6 years later...

And I cannot believe you are shy.

 

[scem0]

When it comes to talking I am. In a club, not so much.

I think it has something to do with confidence in dancing. Some of my confidence in dancing spills over into my confidence in talking at a club, so I'm more likely to talk to a guy there.

_Emerson

 

[Frozone]

Emerson, You seem like one of the least shy people I've ever seen.....But you won't tlak to a guy online... :S