I don't understand why Apple has never given us the ability to easily do this on our end. I don't personally really do anything with the battery...I use it and accept my usage habits (both heat and charge habits) will expedite wear, and I'll just eat the $200 replacement charge when it needs service outside the AppleCare warranty (I can usually get one 'free' battery under AC+).
However, you are absolutely right about how high and low voltages accelerate lithium cell wear (significantly when at extremes.) And Apple is plenty aware that many users also use these systems predominantly as 'desktops'. If they don't want to allow users to specify parameters, they could easily build in a "desktop mode" to Energy Saver Preferences which, when checked, stops the charging at whatever point equates to the nominal voltage of the lithium cells. It's really not that complicated and it would be a huge benefit for many users.