I don't need iTunes to manage my apps. I can't use apps on my computer. They're easily managed straight on the device.
This is true, if you never connect the device to the computer.
I get music from a variety of sources. Not just iTunes. Amazon, YesAsia YouTube and other places. I don't use iTunes to play music. It's too slow. I use Windows Media Player.
I also get music from a variety of sources - but for good or for ill, iTunes is still the means of
syncing your music, whether you buy it from iTunes or not. Put all of your songs in iTunes (yes,
all of them, regardless of where you bought them), then sync, and it won't delete your music.
When you connect an iPod to an iTunes library with no music in it, it's going to delete the music from your iPod - that's what synchronization is, by definition.
Again, you don't have to use iTunes to play your music, but you have to use it to synchronize.
When I delete an app from my device- I want it GONE. That's the purpose of deleting an app. I don't want it to begin downloading when I turn on iTunes. I download an app I don't like, I delete it. I don't want to see it again.
You seem not to understand the idea of synchronization.
If you want the app gone, you need to delete it from iTunes. iTunes manages your apps and music; the iPod simply carries them around with you. Yes, you can delete it from your iPod, but it's going to come back if you synchronize to an iTunes account that has the app or song.
After you drag and drop, you still have to sync. There's some kind of method of clicking that you have to do to make it not delete your entire library.
No, there isn't; your library is in iTunes. iTunes will copy that library - even if it's empty - to your iPod whenever you sync.
And how is anyone supposed to know all of the things you have to un-check before you're safe? And I'm tech savvy.
Perhaps not tech savvy enough; when you use a piece of software contrary to its intended use, you need to configure it to work contrary to its intended use.
The defaults are set for people who use iTunes to manage their content, the way the system was designed. You've chosen to use it differently; therefore you need to configure it to work differently.