Why don't you want a 'thick laptop'? What does an extra inch of depth mean to you in any way, if that inch means the computer runs 10C cooler? Where does this idea that the 'best design' (aesthetically and in usability) is the smallest and thinnest?
I do not want a thick laptop, I'll take the mooing. Even though it doesn't moo, and I have yet to hear this moo in person.
That does not mean the moo (or whine or heat problems don't exist). I returned a MBP that developed the whine ten days in, for no apparent reason. It never ran hot (though I felt some in-store that were smokin' - both MB and MBP early demos). I've heard the moo myself.
That I had a MBP without a moo or heat issue (idled at 43C - a real regret that it had to go in) doesn't mean they don't exist or that it couldn't be a big problem for some users.
The sound clips of what people claim is the moo sounds so quiet, how does that make it unuseable? I think a statement like that does make you crazy, especially when there are so many blaringly loud PC laptops out there.
You're hearing a bad recording with an on-camera mic over a short period of time with someone talking (in the videos). This is nothing like sitting a foot away from the MB/MBP in a quiet room.
You're dismissing problems without evidence to the contrary, despite numerous, documented claims of their existence.
I never owned a Ford Explorer, but I understand that some older ones had problems with exploding gas tanks. That problem didn't not exist because I never saw it.
Undoubtedly, some examples of the MB/MBP do not exhibit the documented issues. And some people can't hear the whine. And some people aren't bothered by the moo. But many people are, and they make a laptop near-unusable (or unusable). For $1200-2700, workarounds and 'just dealing with it' are not reasonable options.
I could have run the mirror widget constantly or quietMBP, sacrificing battery life and usability - but I then still have to sell it some day, disclosing the whine issue up front. How much does that cost me on the back end?
The problems exist, and they are problems for the people raising them. If yours (editorial you, not you specifically) is perfect, wonderful - don't belittle anyone else.