I can't be bothered to do chemistry at the moment:
You are chatting with Deborah, an Apple Expert
Hi, my name is Deborah. Welcome to Apple!
Deborah: Hello, how can I help you?
You: Hi there, is the software update available for the iPod Touch in the UK?
Deborah: yes it is
You: And how much am I being mugged for?
Deborah: if you choose to update it's £12.99 for the software upgrade
You: And £12.99 = $19.99 does it?
You: That's certainly an odd exchange rate.
Deborah: May I help with any other product or order questions before you proceed?
You: Please.
Deborah: sure
You: What's the purpose of the MacBook Air?
You: Considering it's got exactly the same footprint as the MacBook.
Deborah: it's our new notebook
You: It's not exactly 'portable' though, is it.
Deborah: This chat is designed to assist customers in their ordering.
You: Okay, okay.
You: When are the new MacBook Pros being released?
Deborah: ok
You: Those long-overdue, non-consumer laptops which Apple just forgot about?
Deborah: At this stage, I will need to terminate this communication due to the nature of the conversation.
Glad they cleared all of that up for me