Marketing people went to the iOS dev team the day before WWDC and asked them:
- can "we" make this faster than 8 while fixing all the bugs?
Dev team:
- urgh, don't think so, especially in just 2 months...Also considering the features and API added in the last months it could actually be a little bit slower!
Marketing guy:
- well, move your asses and make it happen. Costumers said iOS got slow and tomorrow we are gonna promise it's going to be faster. We'll use metal as a marketing memo! Oh, and by the way...we are gonna support the 4s as well for another year! You don't have many new features to present anyway!
Dev team:
What?! We spent the last freaking year trying to squeeze iOS upgrade size from 4.5 to 1.5 GB! And all those tecnologies like app thinning and separate chapters download for games...and...you told us to do that!!
Marketing guy:
That was for OUR C O S T U M E R S' SAKE!!! People couldn't update to freaking iOS8! There was no freaking space!!! Do you understand??
Dev team (almost whispering):
Well...maybe with a 32gb base model...
Marketing guy (screaming, with a red face, white eyes):
32 GB? 32GB?!?! BZZZZ...32 F*****G GBs?! BZZZZZZZZ (very loud, static noise). PROFIT MARGINS BZZZZZZZZZ APPLE SHARES BZZZZZZZ STOCKS....BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 16 GB BZZZZZZZ MORE...THAN...ENOUGH FOR...BZZZZZZZ MOST PEOPLE BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...BZZZZZZZZZ...ZZZZZZZZZZ...IT'S FOR THE SURVIVAL OF APPLE....BZZZZZZ...INCREDIBLE.....VALUE!!!..BZZZZZZZZZ AMAZING...BZZ................bz................zzzzz........z.........
Dev team guy 1:
.....has he crashed?
Senior dev team guy:
Yeah...his brainOS still runs 8.0, probably didn't have enough space to upgrade to 9 internal builds...and you know...discoveryd....Reboot him. Tell him we'll try our best...!
Ps:
I'm not 100% serious, but I may be not that far off.