I feel much better now that I've received and unboxed my XS Max.
First off, concerns about the size are greatly exaggerated. Because of the same form factor as my old X, it is still a one handed phone for the most part. It is slimmer and easier to hold than my old 7 Plus.
Second, it is basically everything I likes about my X, just more so. The screen is gorgeous, and the speed is faster. I have an early X (launch) and it's a little buggy with some things (the speaker/mic do not seem to work as well as the ones on my work-issued 7), so moving to a new unit is good for me.
Finally, the gold is just amazing. I don't think the reviewers got the description of it right at all. It is not a bright gold, like a gold watch gold. It is kind of a darker gold, like what you might see on an 1980's sports car combined with black (think Trans Am or 280ZX "black gold" version). The black screen just matches so well with this dark gold, and the back is hard to describe. In the one review I saw, the described it as the "most regular gold" on an iPhone. The other golds before may have been more of a frosted aluminum gold look, but the XS Max in gold is rich and dark. Some were concerned it would be "too feminine" for me - it actually might be "too masculine" for women. It's very cool, and way too nice to cover up.