The RAM is actually on the same chip as the CPU so there's definitely no way of upgrading it. This is also, probably the reason that the iPad is limited to 256 Mbs. I'd bet that they simply couldn't fit more memory on the chip die.
RAM on ARM SOCs is not going to go up to a Gig or over for a long time because it is all on die. Also these SOCs tend to be power efficient and running a Gig or more of memory requires battery power.
For now the system works just fine, so adding ram isn't really going to do a whole lot, especially if it causes a 20-30% increase in cost and a loss of battery life.