But this makes no sense unless something changed in the system itself. Why would it "get worse" as if it's some kind of illness? It's software and hardware and the behaviour was very particular in my experience, for months. For the last couple of days this behaviour changed and I didn't update macOS. There has to be some kind of explanation.
I highly advise against updating Big Sur. Some user reported the installer bricked their macbook. All that talk about how reliable macs are and how "they just work" is not something I can confirm at all. It's the exact opposite, I've never had such various problems and crashes with windows computers and laptops over 20 years of usage. I've usually had some kind of hardware failure with them at some point, in some cases, and with software I could always deal in one way or another. But this level of unreliability was honestly unfamiliar to me until I bought this 2020 MBP.
I am 100% convinced that updating to Big Sur *might* solve this TB3 problem for me but it will be a trade-off and I will have a gazillion other problems to deal with. As it is, Apple have left us, 2020 users, with two choices - remain on Catalina with a ridiculously stupid problem that we know of, or update to BigSur and lose who-knows-how many working apps, and face n-amounts of unexpected issues.
Bravo, Apple. Your war against your customers is going great!
BTW, are you by any chance using Karabiner Elements? I'm entertaining the idea that the latest BigSur update they pushed might've worsened the TB3 problem. I just reverted to the previous version and will watch out to see if there's improvement.