I need to take a step back from this group.
Since I joined MR in 2008, I’ve talked about the level of friendship and mutual respect that characterizes this subforum. I have always been very careful to conduct myself in that spirit. Sadly, I’ve started to question that culture.
It has happened twice that one particular person in this group has singled me out for what feel like cheap shots if not intentional attacks. I didn’t do anything to provoke their comments. They came out of nowhere. The first was several months ago in this thread and the second was last week in POD where I do not even participate. In both of those cases, that person compared me to a monkey or ape. In both of those cases another particular person got on board with that in one way or another. In no case is any of that appropriate. It is wrong to begin with, and there are cultural triggers that make such an analogy particularly offensive to me.
I let it roll off my back the first time, when it happened in this thread. I was not willing to let it go the second time and I voiced my feelings via an angry emoji. Perhaps an emoji is not the best assertive response but I wanted to remain appropriate. That person deleted their original post and replaced it with: “My post made someone angry and that wasn't my intention, especially given all of the joking that goes back and forth around cat pictures. Oh well.” These were not jokes about cats nor any other subject matter, and this was not the kind of joking that goes back and forth between us. As I said, these were targeted comments that came out of nowhere.
When I grew up, we were taught to apologize with sincerity. “I did not mean to offend. Oh well.” is not an apology by any definition.
Some might think it’s not right for me to speak my truth publicly in this forum. I believe an offense and response should be commensurate with one another. I was insulted publicly, and there was no public nor private apology. I think it is fair and right for me to call it out publicly.
I’ve always avoided social media because of the potential for the ill-spiritedness that is coming out more and more in this thread. This subforum has been my only social media exception. I’ve met some very good people here, had lot of fun, and have been pushed to be a better photographer. Now, I am angry and insulted, and it is just not fun for me to be here. I’m sad about that. There are some people I will continue to follow. I’ve learned a lot from them and I want to continue to do so. I might come back to the Weekly Challenge Contest which remains a civil space. It’s also possible I will find another online photo group or just stay away from social media altogether. In any case, what feels like a hostile environment is not where I want nor need to be.
