So, 40 GB is still inadequate? What's pushing the move to 64 GB? Are you still getting beachballs? All you've mentioned is Safari, iTunes and Activity Monitor. There has to be more than that. Are you doing video production or climate modeling? If your tasks demand 64 GB, then you need 64 GB. I'm not going to argue that it's "too much" unless there's no logical reason to need that much.
But if Safari and iTunes was all you were doing with your Mac and 8 GB was consistently inadequate, then there was likely something wrong in software. Back when you had 8 GB, what was Activity Monitor telling you? Was Memory Pressure constantly in the orange/red? What processes were taking large percentages of RAM and CPU? If there
was something wrong in software, adding RAM is like eating more food because you have a stomach parasite. Is it better to feed the parasite, or kill it?
Mac OS will use as much RAM as you throw at it - it's not just a matter of how much it currently needs, but also whether there's a need to flush out old stuff to make room for new. So when you have excess RAM capacity we can't assume that the 7.8 GB RAM you now see in Activity Monitor is the minimum needed to run macOS, Safari, iTunes, and Activity Monitor efficiently.
Bottom line for me is that if you are doing things that legitimately require 40 or 64 GB, but you tried to run them on 8 GB, you're in no position to judge whether 8 GB is enough for the average Mac user, for whom, in my experience, 8 GB is enough when all is working as it should. Of course 16 GB is nicer than 8 GB, but it's always been that way with computer configurations - computer makers are always going to offer a base RAM configuration that is adequate for typical browsing/email/word processing users, because selling them more than absolutely necessary raises prices, which chases away buyers. Considering how few complaints I see about the performance of new Macs, Apple's probably delivering just what those users need.
There's lots we could say about Microsoft.
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Of course there were a fair number of extended memory managers back in DOS days. Microsoft did not include that feature in MS-DOS, so until Windows came along, you needed a third-party solution. In my experience, utilization of EMMs was not particularly widespread, and plenty of apps were not written to take advantage of that memory, even when it was available.
The thing is, we're talking about a system architecture designed for a character-based, single-tasking OS. Trying to run a multi-tasking GUI on that configuration was insane. However, for Microsoft, it was a business necessity - they needed to retrofit as much of the installed PC base with Windows as possible if they were going to fight off Apple's hardware-plus-software competition. As long as your existing PC could be crammed with enough RAM, upgrading to Windows was far cheaper than buying a new Mac.
When system architecture evolved, OS-based extended memory management was no longer needed. For the time that it was needed, I'd still argue Windows was by far the widest-deployed EMM (although few were consciously buying it for that capability).