I think these two paragraphs present such a contradiction. I mean, here you're saying you're easy to talk to and understanding and next you're saying you don't think things she's doing are any good for her. That's for her to decide. You don't think this attitude gets noticed? You don't think she's uncomfortable talking to you about this because of it?
Maybe you missed my edited addition in the post you quoted, so here it is again:
You've probably already lost her. It might be hard for her to come out and dump you because she doesn't want to break your heart, so the relationship might be due for some festering.
just because i'm an understanding person and stuff doesn't mean i'm not rashional. you can't judge yourself, cuz you don't see what other people see about you. i don't go around telling myself "good job!", that's for other people to do, if i really do a good job at something.
so i've already lost her......that's great advice. you just made me feel so much better....
I wouldn't mind listening (or reading in this case).
well, it's a long story, and it started a long time ago, but i'll try to explain just one thing that has to do with it. (remember, it's not the only thing, just one)
first a little more background....before i started going out with my girlfriend, i was hanging around the wrong people, doing the wrong things. this has nothing to with her (clearly), probably more with my parents (mainly my dad), but whatever the reason, i wasn't doing very good things. and i realized this eventually, and i knew i needed a change in my life.
after having several different girlfriends, none of which were serious (but one hurt me), i decided i wanted a more serious one, and one that would MAKE me change my bad ways. so i pursued after the girl that i'm with now.
it turned out that she liked me quite a bit (she told me that she never thought that i've ever go for her), and we hit it off quite well. we had several similarities, and we never had any disagreements at all for the first 3 months.
but she never MADE me choose between her and the bad things that i was doing, which i was surprized b/c her whole family are strong christians, and i thought she hated some of the things i was doing. she didn't like them, but said that she wanted me to be happy, and didn't want to run me off.
i eventually stopped doing those things, and everything around me got better. my running, my grades, everything. i had grown up around church, but i had stopped going when my parents stopped. but i started going again with her, to her church (25 minutes away). i went pretty often.
but there was a guy there that she basically had grown up with. it turned out that he really liked her, and they had went to prom and homecoming before i came along. but it was clear that he still liked her, but she wouldn't admit to it. i even asked why she didn't like him, and she said she just didn't. to this day, i still think there's more to the story than i know.
well, during church, we sat on the very back row, and sometimes i would notice when he would turn his had back to her, and sometimes stare for a few minutes. just something i noticed. but when everyone would greet each other, he would always come behind the last row, and grap her arm from behind to greet her, which i hated. i brought this up to her, and she said that it was nothing. i basically said 'you know him, this is your church, and you know all the people around here. i think you should just say something to him about it, and then it'd be over with." but she never would, and i evenually stopped going to the church.
again, this isn't the only reason, just one. and i've been to other churches since then, but not near as much as i should.
hope that wasn't too boring
