Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.

keithop

macrumors 6502a
Jul 22, 2002
691
914
Welp! The deed is done. iPhone 14 Pro Max is currently with Fed Ex, boxed up and on its way to Samsung. After what Jamezr went through, took lots of photos and videos and even said in my video "Don't try anything shady because I've seen a lot of people getting screwed over" lol.

Here's to a fun ride. Hope this thread stays very active as well!

good on you!!!!! I think half the battle is making the decision.

FWIW my tradein was processed fine in the end.
 

three

Cancelled
Jan 22, 2008
1,484
1,225
Thank you, and sorry for your loss as well (perhaps I misinterpreted, sorry if so + happy for you if he's alive and well). 2020 through 2021 was difficult for people who had loved ones in hospitals etc., due to Covid restrictions. I was not allowed to visit my mom the day before she passed because according to them, "it wasn't imminent." You can imagine the fury I felt toward that "rule." and someone actually saying that out loud. I don't like throwing around the words "hate" or "furious" lightly, but on that day I would've allowed myself to get arrested for trespassing had it come to that, in order to see my mom. I was absolutely furious. She just wanted her loved ones to be with her to hold her hand. Thankfully we were all allowed to visit the morning of. I can't imagine how difficult it must've been for those who were actually hospitalized to go through their struggles all alone or with "one visitor for X hours" restriction in place.

Anyway...I can't stand e-sim. Spent 30 mins on the phone with AT&T and they told me because it's Android I needed to visit a store. Needless to say I am back on a physical sim card. If I do switch back to my iPhone as my primary I may consider buying a 13 series so I can use the physical sim. So ridiculous.
I share the same sentiments about eSIM. I was previously with T-Mobile and they have had their device transfer / activation page "offline" for the entirety of the time I had their service. I've since switched to Visible (and saving a bunch of money) but at the time my main phone was a 14 Pro, and I was going back and forth to other phones pretty regularly. I had to either visit the store or contact their support to switch devices and do an eSIM transfer. Talk about a headache. When I got the S23 Ultra, I ported over to Visible and I activated a physical SIM. eSIM is annoying and it sucks. If I do come back to the iPhone, I'm doing the same with going for a 13 series over a 14. The carriers still don't know what they're doing and it's messy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: aggie99 and Harthag

ratspg

macrumors 68020
Dec 19, 2002
2,394
8,106
Los Angeles, CA
For sure it is. I made the decision before even preordering it, so in the end decided to stick to my guns because the reasons for leaving Apple made sense to me and haven't changed.
Congrats on your decision! What are you main reasons. I'm currently using an iPhone 14 Pro Max for personal and S23 now for work, and I'm loving the S23 so far!
 

Harthag

macrumors 68020
Jun 20, 2009
2,014
2,565
U.S.
I share the same sentiments about eSIM. I was previously with T-Mobile and they have had their device transfer / activation page "offline" for the entirety of the time I had their service. I've since switched to Visible (and saving a bunch of money) but at the time my main phone was a 14 Pro, and I was going back and forth to other phones pretty regularly. I had to either visit the store or contact their support to switch devices and do an eSIM transfer. Talk about a headache. When I got the S23 Ultra, I ported over to Visible and I activated a physical SIM. eSIM is annoying and it sucks. If I do come back to the iPhone, I'm doing the same with going for a 13 series over a 14. The carriers still don't know what they're doing and it's messy.
I experienced the same w/ T-Mobile when I was with them. I ported out a couple months ago due to their latest hack which actually affected me (someone got my credit card I used for auto pay and charged several thousand dollars worth of goods to it). If I can avoid it I am never going post-paid again and sure as heck not giving any personal info to these carriers. They now want bank account info if you want to use auto-pay and get the discount. LOL, no. I'm not taking out a mortgage, it's just cellular service FFS.
 
  • Like
Reactions: three

mjschabow

macrumors 601
Dec 25, 2013
4,924
6,239
Congrats on your decision! What are you main reasons. I'm currently using an iPhone 14 Pro Max for personal and S23 now for work, and I'm loving the S23 so far!
Most of mine had to do with wanting more out of the camera without needing a secondary device. The S23 Ultra does it all and I can edit photos with the S-Pen in Lightroom. Also, I feel like Apple has lost its way with iOS. Way too many bugs. Half baked customization, etc.
 

three

Cancelled
Jan 22, 2008
1,484
1,225
I experienced the same w/ T-Mobile when I was with them. I ported out a couple months ago due to their latest hack which actually affected me (someone got my credit card I used for auto pay and charged several thousand dollars worth of goods to it). If I can avoid it I am never going post-paid again and sure as heck not giving any personal info to these carriers. They now want bank account info if you want to use auto-pay and get the discount. LOL, no. I'm not taking out a mortgage, it's just cellular service FFS.
I wasn't affect by the hack, luckily, but I realized I was paying so much more money for good service but that's about it. If I'm smart about what pre-paid service I use, I can save a bunch of money as well as get the same priority data as the post-paid plans from the major carriers. I never financed through them, I didn't ever use any of the added perks, either. Waste of money. I'm sticking with pre-paid.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Harthag

Technerd108

macrumors 68040
Oct 24, 2021
3,061
4,311
I wasn't affect by the hack, luckily, but I realized I was paying so much more money for good service but that's about it. If I'm smart about what pre-paid service I use, I can save a bunch of money as well as get the same priority data as the post-paid plans from the major carriers. I never financed through them, I didn't ever use any of the added perks, either. Waste of money. I'm sticking with pre-paid.
I generally prefer pre paid accounts but have had T-Mobile prepaid or Mint in the past. T-Mobile has the best coverage and reception but customer service is useless. Mint is okay but there cell reception is not great even using T Mobile towers and I don't know why?

Cricket I have also had and it is very good. A little expensive but coverage is good and customer service is good.

I recently switched to Boost mobile for $25 unlimited plan and the cell coverage is decent but customer service is terrible and now there website is down.

Switching to Google Fi now once I can access my account # from Boost and we will see what the results are.
 

sunking101

macrumors 604
Sep 19, 2013
7,423
2,659
I left iPhones after the 7+ because they were just too samey every year and I was itching for a change. I had also been burned by the terrible experience that the iPhone 6+ was. I half expected to be back but to my surprise Android won me over and has kept me without any itching to come back.

I bought an iPad fairly recently and am pretty dismayed by the experience to be honest. It certainly hasn't reawoken any desire to come back to iPhones that's for sure. For me Android and flagship Samsung phones in particular are just better.
 

Harthag

macrumors 68020
Jun 20, 2009
2,014
2,565
U.S.
I wasn't affect by the hack, luckily, but I realized I was paying so much more money for good service but that's about it. If I'm smart about what pre-paid service I use, I can save a bunch of money as well as get the same priority data as the post-paid plans from the major carriers. I never financed through them, I didn't ever use any of the added perks, either. Waste of money. I'm sticking with pre-paid.

I generally prefer pre paid accounts but have had T-Mobile prepaid or Mint in the past. T-Mobile has the best coverage and reception but customer service is useless. Mint is okay but there cell reception is not great even using T Mobile towers and I don't know why?

Cricket I have also had and it is very good. A little expensive but coverage is good and customer service is good.

I recently switched to Boost mobile for $25 unlimited plan and the cell coverage is decent but customer service is terrible and now there website is down.

Switching to Google Fi now once I can access my account # from Boost and we will see what the results are.
I really didn't use any perks either. I went with the AT&T 16gb/month prepaid plan that costs $300 up front for 12 months, includes 5G and hotspot. Came out to $29 a month with tax which is great. It has rollover so for this month I have 30gb available, I think I'll have extra data carrying over each month.

It is possible TMO limits Mint somehow considering it's an MVNO but I am not really sure. When I had TMO I did not get HD voice when calling AT&T or Verizon numbers, which is important to me, and AT&T prepaid suffers far less deprioritization than Verizon prepaid. If I were to try a Verizon MVNO I'd use US Mobile since they get access to the same priority data as Verizon postpaid.
 

three

Cancelled
Jan 22, 2008
1,484
1,225
I generally prefer pre paid accounts but have had T-Mobile prepaid or Mint in the past. T-Mobile has the best coverage and reception but customer service is useless. Mint is okay but there cell reception is not great even using T Mobile towers and I don't know why?

Cricket I have also had and it is very good. A little expensive but coverage is good and customer service is good.

I recently switched to Boost mobile for $25 unlimited plan and the cell coverage is decent but customer service is terrible and now there website is down.

Switching to Google Fi now once I can access my account # from Boost and we will see what the results are.
You're running into priority versus unprioritized data with Mint. Although I don't know what level T-Mobile prepaid is, I'd assume it's higher than Mint. Google Fi has the same level of priority data as T-Mobile post paid, so that's cool!
 

Technerd108

macrumors 68040
Oct 24, 2021
3,061
4,311
I really didn't use any perks either. I went with the AT&T 16gb/month prepaid plan that costs $300 up front for 12 months, includes 5G and hotspot. Came out to $29 a month with tax which is great. It has rollover so for this month I have 30gb available, I think I'll have extra data carrying over each month.

It is possible TMO limits Mint somehow considering it's an MVNO but I am not really sure. When I had TMO I did not get HD voice when calling AT&T or Verizon numbers, which is important to me, and AT&T prepaid suffers far less deprioritization than Verizon prepaid. If I were to try a Verizon MVNO I'd use US Mobile since they get access to the same priority data as Verizon postpaid.
Once I am done with Fi I might just try AT&T prepaid. Didn't know they even had a prepaid service.

That sounds like a good plan. How much hotspot data do you get with that plan and is there a link to AT&T prepaid?
 
  • Like
Reactions: three

three

Cancelled
Jan 22, 2008
1,484
1,225
I really didn't use any perks either. I went with the AT&T 16gb/month prepaid plan that costs $300 up front for 12 months, includes 5G and hotspot. Came out to $29 a month with tax which is great. It has rollover so for this month I have 30gb available, I think I'll have extra data carrying over each month.

It is possible TMO limits Mint somehow considering it's an MVNO but I am not really sure. When I had TMO I did not get HD voice when calling AT&T or Verizon numbers, which is important to me, and AT&T prepaid suffers far less deprioritization than Verizon prepaid. If I were to try a Verizon MVNO I'd use US Mobile since they get access to the same priority data as Verizon postpaid.
US Mobile or Visible+, I switched to Visible+ and it's prioritized data, while the $30/month plan is not. Unprioritized data on Verizon is borderline useless.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Harthag

Ludatyk

macrumors 603
May 27, 2012
5,960
5,130
Texas
I really didn't use any perks either. I went with the AT&T 16gb/month prepaid plan that costs $300 up front for 12 months, includes 5G and hotspot. Came out to $29 a month with tax which is great. It has rollover so for this month I have 30gb available, I think I'll have extra data carrying over each month.
That's a good deal... my goodness!

I'm a newbie when it comes to prepaid vs postpaid... if I'm not mistaken there's more perks with postpaid, correct?
 

Technerd108

macrumors 68040
Oct 24, 2021
3,061
4,311
That's a good deal... my goodness!

I'm a newbie when it comes to prepaid vs postpaid... if I'm not mistaken there's more perks with postpaid, correct?
Generally post paid accounts get special offers on phones, priority cellular data, better customer service.

So yes if you don't mind buying a locked phone and will use the same service for 2 or 3 years and pay a higher rate of service they are good.

BUT if you get a decent prepaid plan the cost savings will pay for a new phone in a couple years anyway and you won't have to buy a locked device.

Also as posters here have mentioned there are prepaid plans with the same priority data as post paid plans.

US Mobile has a free trial and cost $12 a month for 2gb data and $15 a month for 5gb data which is very good.

Visible is also excellent but more expensive. $45 for unlimited with unlimited hot spot.

After FI I am going to compare AT&T, Visible and US Mobile. We will see who is best.

Thank you to the posters that contributed to these carriers. I think all of them offer much better value than post paid as long as you don't mind buying your own devices.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Harthag and Ludatyk

Harthag

macrumors 68020
Jun 20, 2009
2,014
2,565
U.S.
Once I am done with Fi I might just try AT&T prepaid. Didn't know they even had a prepaid service.

That sounds like a good plan. How much hotspot data do you get with that plan and is there a link to AT&T prepaid?

That's a good deal... my goodness!

I'm a newbie when it comes to prepaid vs postpaid... if I'm not mistaken there's more perks with postpaid, correct?
Hotspot data is included with the 16gb per month, so it just counts toward your data like any other data use would.

Yeah more perks with postpaid but many I couldn't care less about (aside from Apple One with Verizon postpaid). I am just using Apple music and the $2.99 iCloud storage plan a la carte from Apple; even if I went all in on an individual Apple One plan + prepaid service it is still far, far cheaper than the Verizon plan that includes it.

The AT&T $300 up front plan may be an online only thing, not sure, but here's the link. And yes, you CAN set up an e-sim for it online if you want, but good luck changing devices afterwards without a headache, lol.

Select the 16gb 12 month plan for $300 up front.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Technerd108

aggie99

macrumors 65816
Sep 23, 2016
1,001
2,338
Dallas, TX
Been with TMobile for a few months and I've been wanting to get away from them due to the data breaches and honestly for actually using the service for phone calls they have been crap for me. Calls missed going straight to voicemail. Dropped connections. Breaking up during calls. But that sweet data. Where AT&T is congested to the point I can't use data T-Mobile is just humming along. AT&T has so many data black holes here in DFW probably due to congestion as they have by far the biggest subscriber base. I might just give Verizon a try again. They were not great several years ago when I tried them but I hear theyve gotten better now that they are deploying their 5g network in the area. But I sure love these TMO speeds and data consistency.
Screenshot_20230227_170142_Speedtest.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5105973

three

Cancelled
Jan 22, 2008
1,484
1,225
Been with TMobile for a few months and I've been wanting to get away from them due to the data breaches and honestly for actually using the service for phone calls they have been crap for me. Calls missed going straight to voicemail. Dropped connections. Breaking up during calls. But that sweet data. Where AT&T is congested to the point I can't use data T-Mobile is just humming along. AT&T has so many data black holes here in DFW probably due to congestion as they have by far the biggest subscriber base. I might just give Verizon a try again. They were not great several years ago when I tried them but I hear theyve gotten better now that they are deploying their 5g network in the area. But I sure love these TMO speeds and data consistency.
I was only with T-Mobile for a few months, but I also miss their speeds and data consistency, too. Where I'm at, Verizon still trumps them in terms of coverage, but lacks in data consistency.
 

5105973

Cancelled
Sep 11, 2014
12,132
19,733
Thank you, and sorry for your loss as well (perhaps I misinterpreted, sorry if so + happy for you if he's alive and well). 2020 through 2021 was difficult for people who had loved ones in hospitals etc., due to Covid restrictions. I was not allowed to visit my mom the day before she passed because according to them, "it wasn't imminent." You can imagine the fury I felt toward that "rule." and someone actually saying that out loud. I don't like throwing around the words "hate" or "furious" lightly, but on that day I would've allowed myself to get arrested for trespassing had it come to that, in order to see my mom. I was absolutely furious. She just wanted her loved ones to be with her to hold her hand. Thankfully we were all allowed to visit the morning of. I can't imagine how difficult it must've been for those who were actually hospitalized to go through their struggles all alone or with "one visitor for X hours" restriction in place.

Anyway...I can't stand e-sim. Spent 30 mins on the phone with AT&T and they told me because it's Android I needed to visit a store. Needless to say I am back on a physical sim card. If I do switch back to my iPhone as my primary I may consider buying a 13 series so I can use the physical sim. So ridiculous.
No you interpreted correctly. My father passed last January. Cancer, with Covid caught at a medical facility. He was admitted to a full hospital a few days before Christmas and passed away a month later. He went about as mercifully fast as he could have hoped.

We were invited to see him and here’s where I had a problem I’ll never resolve. I made the decision to NOT see him as he was nearing the end.

I totally understand your fury at being denied the opportunity I was given, because I would have wanted to do exactly the same as you. I DID want to. It was against every instinct I had as a human being to let him be alone.

But…

He wanted above all for my mom to be protected. He would have been furious if I were to endanger her. Or my husband or myself. Or get myself sick and not be able to take care of her. And my mom was just recovering from the hip replacement surgery he had fought so much bureaucracy to get for her.

I knew what my duty was.

I know I made the right call intellectually, the one he would have wanted. Especially because when the invitation was extended to see him, he was too far gone to be responsive and he would not want my mom to see him like that.

Some of the remarks of the medical staff kind of honestly guilt tripped me a little. They were saying the standard stuff about how people in a coma can still hear us and benefit. I know that’s true. But these were extraordinary circumstances. I couldn’t let that be a factor.

I don’t fault them for anything they said in those dark days. I know they were just running on empty at that point. Every day that I spoke to any medical staff whatsoever, I could hear nurses sobbing in the background. I could hear the strain in all their voices. The doctor who told me my dad wasn’t going to make it broke down and I had to comfort and encourage HIM. And I consider it an honor and a privilege to have been able to do so. I can’t imagine what those doctors and nurses saw and dealt with during that winter surge.

But they also confused me by saying even though it technically was against protocol because of the surge, but they could sort of sneak me and my mom in to see him.

Honestly that sounded…misguided. How do you sneak a disabled woman anywhere? I think the offer was misplaced compassion from an overworked nurse that probably would have resulted in us being stopped and turned back home had I tried to take them up on it.

I don’t FEEL I made the right call when my mother gets depressive spells because she didn’t get to see him and comfort him or say goodbye. But I KNOW I did the right thing. And she KNOWS it, too. But that knowing doesn’t stop the feelings.

I live with this dichotomy between emotion and reason that runs soul deep because I knew my dad very well. I know what he expected of me. I discharged my duty. My dad was a soldier in his heart and soul. He raised me to understand duty.

I did finally see him one last time in the funeral home to make the identification as required by law.

I didn’t say anything to him. I looked one last time at his face, saluted him and turned on my heel and walked out with my back straight and my head held high. Like he always told me to carry myself. Lol except I’m a slob who normally slouches a lot. But not then. Then I was paying my respects to my Sergeant.

No, I don’t quite have peace and may never have it. But in doing my absolute best in what the circumstances dictated, I honored my loved one and I believe that gave HIM peace.

He knew I was going to do my best. It didn’t have to be spectacular or what I would have done in better times. Like the medical staff surrounding him, I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t ideal. But I gave all I could. My dad knew me well enough to know I would. That was his peace in lieu of my hand in his.

And I’m growing to accept that. And I hope you and everyone else who dealt with this scenario works toward acceptance that we did our human best under extraordinary conditions.

Remember not how they died but how they taught us to live.

And as for the living, always resolve to fix our messes with them. My dad was far from great. He was often a verbally abusive jerk. But we loved each other and he had his good points. He didn’t leave this earth nor did I let him leave it without making sure we talked our garbage out. Nothing was left unsaid. Burn the trash and leave the treasure. That’s what we did.

It’s what I am attempting to do with my mom now. It’s ridiculously hard being left with her to take care of and not him. But it’s an opportunity to burn away the garbage that I never would have gotten otherwise.

And on to your next point, yes goodness gracious I hate e sim with so much. What is this sorcery? @jamezr articulated the situation with the carriers so beautifully many pages ago.

I love my 14 Pro Max but I deeply regret converting my physical sim to e sim. At least with a separate line for my Android phone I’ll be able to avoid the issues he dealt with. But I’m hanging on to physical sim for my Android phones. I hope Samsung doesn’t go the e sim route for a very long time.
 

sunking101

macrumors 604
Sep 19, 2013
7,423
2,659
No you interpreted correctly. My father passed last January. Cancer, with Covid caught at a medical facility. He was admitted to a full hospital a few days before Christmas and passed away a month later. He went about as mercifully fast as he could have hoped.

We were invited to see him and here’s where I had a problem I’ll never resolve. I made the decision to NOT see him as he was nearing the end.

I totally understand your fury at being denied the opportunity I was given, because I would have wanted to do exactly the same as you. I DID want to. It was against every instinct I had as a human being to let him be alone.

But…

He wanted above all for my mom to be protected. He would have been furious if I were to endanger her. Or my husband or myself. Or get myself sick and not be able to take care of her. And my mom was just recovering from the hip replacement surgery he had fought so much bureaucracy to get for her.

I knew what my duty was.

I know I made the right call intellectually, the one he would have wanted. Especially because when the invitation was extended to see him, he was too far gone to be responsive and he would not want my mom to see him like that.

Some of the remarks of the medical staff kind of honestly guilt tripped me a little. They were saying the standard stuff about how people in a coma can still hear us and benefit. I know that’s true. But these were extraordinary circumstances. I couldn’t let that be a factor.

I don’t fault them for anything they said in those dark days. I know they were just running on empty at that point. Every day that I spoke to any medical staff whatsoever, I could hear nurses sobbing in the background. I could hear the strain in all their voices. The doctor who told me my dad wasn’t going to make it broke down and I had to comfort and encourage HIM. And I consider it an honor and a privilege to have been able to do so. I can’t imagine what those doctors and nurses saw and dealt with during that winter surge.

But they also confused me by saying even though it technically was against protocol because of the surge, but they could sort of sneak me and my mom in to see him.

Honestly that sounded…misguided. How do you sneak a disabled woman anywhere? I think the offer was misplaced compassion from an overworked nurse that probably would have resulted in us being stopped and turned back home had I tried to take them up on it.

I don’t FEEL I made the right call when my mother gets depressive spells because she didn’t get to see him and comfort him or say goodbye. But I KNOW I did the right thing. And she KNOWS it, too. But that knowing doesn’t stop the feelings.

I live with this dichotomy between emotion and reason that runs soul deep because I knew my dad very well. I know what he expected of me. I discharged my duty. My dad was a soldier in his heart and soul. He raised me to understand duty.

I did finally see him one last time in the funeral home to make the identification as required by law.

I didn’t say anything to him. I looked one last time at his face, saluted him and turned on my heel and walked out with my back straight and my head held high. Like he always told me to carry myself. Lol except I’m a slob who normally slouches a lot. But not then. Then I was paying my respects to my Sergeant.

No, I don’t quite have peace and may never have it. But in doing my absolute best in what the circumstances dictated, I honored my loved one and I believe that gave HIM peace.

He knew I was going to do my best. It didn’t have to be spectacular or what I would have done in better times. Like the medical staff surrounding him, I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t ideal. But I gave all I could. My dad knew me well enough to know I would. That was his peace in lieu of my hand in his.

And I’m growing to accept that. And I hope you and everyone else who dealt with this scenario works toward acceptance that we did our human best under extraordinary conditions.

Remember not how they died but how they taught us to live.

And as for the living, always resolve to fix our messes with them. My dad was far from great. He was often a verbally abusive jerk. But we loved each other and he had his good points. He didn’t leave this earth nor did I let him leave it without making sure we talked our garbage out. Nothing was left unsaid. Burn the trash and leave the treasure. That’s what we did.

It’s what I am attempting to do with my mom now. It’s ridiculously hard being left with her to take care of and not him. But it’s an opportunity to burn away the garbage that I never would have gotten otherwise.

And on to your next point, yes goodness gracious I hate e sim with so much. What is this sorcery? @jamezr articulated the situation with the carriers so beautifully many pages ago.

I love my 14 Pro Max but I deeply regret converting my physical sim to e sim. At least with a separate line for my Android phone I’ll be able to avoid the issues he dealt with. But I’m hanging on to physical sim for my Android phones. I hope Samsung doesn’t go the e sim route for a very long time.
Wow that's deep for the iOS alternatives forum...
Joking aside that's a sad tale. Sorry to hear.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5105973

jamezr

macrumors P6
Aug 7, 2011
16,072
19,060
US
No you interpreted correctly. My father passed last January. Cancer, with Covid caught at a medical facility. He was admitted to a full hospital a few days before Christmas and passed away a month later. He went about as mercifully fast as he could have hoped.

We were invited to see him and here’s where I had a problem I’ll never resolve. I made the decision to NOT see him as he was nearing the end.

I totally understand your fury at being denied the opportunity I was given, because I would have wanted to do exactly the same as you. I DID want to. It was against every instinct I had as a human being to let him be alone.

But…

He wanted above all for my mom to be protected. He would have been furious if I were to endanger her. Or my husband or myself. Or get myself sick and not be able to take care of her. And my mom was just recovering from the hip replacement surgery he had fought so much bureaucracy to get for her.

I knew what my duty was.

I know I made the right call intellectually, the one he would have wanted. Especially because when the invitation was extended to see him, he was too far gone to be responsive and he would not want my mom to see him like that.

Some of the remarks of the medical staff kind of honestly guilt tripped me a little. They were saying the standard stuff about how people in a coma can still hear us and benefit. I know that’s true. But these were extraordinary circumstances. I couldn’t let that be a factor.

I don’t fault them for anything they said in those dark days. I know they were just running on empty at that point. Every day that I spoke to any medical staff whatsoever, I could hear nurses sobbing in the background. I could hear the strain in all their voices. The doctor who told me my dad wasn’t going to make it broke down and I had to comfort and encourage HIM. And I consider it an honor and a privilege to have been able to do so. I can’t imagine what those doctors and nurses saw and dealt with during that winter surge.

But they also confused me by saying even though it technically was against protocol because of the surge, but they could sort of sneak me and my mom in to see him.

Honestly that sounded…misguided. How do you sneak a disabled woman anywhere? I think the offer was misplaced compassion from an overworked nurse that probably would have resulted in us being stopped and turned back home had I tried to take them up on it.

I don’t FEEL I made the right call when my mother gets depressive spells because she didn’t get to see him and comfort him or say goodbye. But I KNOW I did the right thing. And she KNOWS it, too. But that knowing doesn’t stop the feelings.

I live with this dichotomy between emotion and reason that runs soul deep because I knew my dad very well. I know what he expected of me. I discharged my duty. My dad was a soldier in his heart and soul. He raised me to understand duty.

I did finally see him one last time in the funeral home to make the identification as required by law.

I didn’t say anything to him. I looked one last time at his face, saluted him and turned on my heel and walked out with my back straight and my head held high. Like he always told me to carry myself. Lol except I’m a slob who normally slouches a lot. But not then. Then I was paying my respects to my Sergeant.

No, I don’t quite have peace and may never have it. But in doing my absolute best in what the circumstances dictated, I honored my loved one and I believe that gave HIM peace.

He knew I was going to do my best. It didn’t have to be spectacular or what I would have done in better times. Like the medical staff surrounding him, I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t ideal. But I gave all I could. My dad knew me well enough to know I would. That was his peace in lieu of my hand in his.

And I’m growing to accept that. And I hope you and everyone else who dealt with this scenario works toward acceptance that we did our human best under extraordinary conditions.

Remember not how they died but how they taught us to live.

And as for the living, always resolve to fix our messes with them. My dad was far from great. He was often a verbally abusive jerk. But we loved each other and he had his good points. He didn’t leave this earth nor did I let him leave it without making sure we talked our garbage out. Nothing was left unsaid. Burn the trash and leave the treasure. That’s what we did.

It’s what I am attempting to do with my mom now. It’s ridiculously hard being left with her to take care of and not him. But it’s an opportunity to burn away the garbage that I never would have gotten otherwise.

And on to your next point, yes goodness gracious I hate e sim with so much. What is this sorcery? @jamezr articulated the situation with the carriers so beautifully many pages ago.

I love my 14 Pro Max but I deeply regret converting my physical sim to e sim. At least with a separate line for my Android phone I’ll be able to avoid the issues he dealt with. But I’m hanging on to physical sim for my Android phones. I hope Samsung doesn’t go the e sim route for a very long time.
I love reading your stories and memories...You should write all this down and get it published. You have a very capivating writng style.
I for one would be first inline to buy your book :)
 
Register on MacRumors! This sidebar will go away, and you'll see fewer ads.