So the wife gave me permission to buy an iPad ...

[mrathee]

LOL...Who are you to say that its not an annual cycle? What's the basis for your commentary? You don't know either, so your opinion and comments are just as invalid as the rest.

Actually, his/her comment is perfectly valid because they aren't assuming anything. He/she is asking what the facts are behind the other poster's assumptions.

They aren't saying: "what makes you say it is an annual cycle? It is obviously coming out in January."

No, they are just saying "what makes you say it is an annual cycle?"

Pretty silly to jump on their case for that.

----

On another note: I agree with the annual cycle based on Apple's regular product cycles. Who knows - every one of us is operating solely on assumptions and could be completely wrong anyway.

 

[TraceyS/FL]

And every relationship is different guys. If it makes you feel good about yourself to get on here and proclaim yourself master of the universe because you have the money and independence to buy whatever and whenever you wish, by all means, go for it. All of us are not in that situation. I discuss purchases with my gf all the time, and we aren't even married. But we do live in a combined income household, so it is her right to be included in those decisions.

I typed a long post.... Then deleted it.

But this is what i was trying to get out. A healthy attitude about "yours, mine and ours" is required.

I'm overly sensitive to all that was posted because for the last 5 years or so I've been in an emotionally and economically abusive marriage. The good news is i go to trial next month, AND after 22 months he appears to be moving out before the judge reefs him out. Yay me.

If i ever do this couple thing again.... Things will be different. Some of you wouldn't make the potential list.

 

[ngenerator]

I typed a long post.... Then deleted it.

But this is what i was trying to get out. A healthy attitude about "yours, mine and ours" is required.

I'm overly sensitive to all that was posted because for the last 5 years or so I've been in an emotionally and economically abusive marriage. The good news is i go to trial next month, AND after 22 months he appears to be moving out before the judge reefs him out. Yay me.

If i ever do this couple thing again.... Things will be different. Some of you wouldn't make the potential list.

Good on ya! I was in a similar situation, but no marriage for me I was lucky enough to get out halfway through (1 year) into the engagement. It was completely dysfunctional and I would never wish that upon anybody, much less a bad marriage. Good luck!

 

[ReallyBigFeet]

I typed a long post.... Then deleted it.

But this is what i was trying to get out. A healthy attitude about "yours, mine and ours" is required.

A wise person once told me that if each part of the couple spends exactly 51% of their life focusing on the needs and happiness of their partner, and it is reciprocated the same way in kind, you both end up with 100% and lose the selfish attitude in the journey. Its worked for over 22 years for us thus far....and it had worked for them for over 50 years when they told me that.

The key, of course, is finding a partner who shares the same philosophy. That's hard to do when you bring "yours and mine" into a conversation about "us." Marriage counselors today may proclaim otherwise...but then, they have a vested interest in their chosen vocations.

 

[TraceyS/FL]

Good on ya! I was in a similar situation, but no marriage for me I was lucky enough to get out halfway through (1 year) into the engagement. It was completely dysfunctional and I would never wish that upon anybody, much less a bad marriage. Good luck!

I'd not wish the he'll of the last 2 years on my worst enemy.

I've been married for 18 years....

A wise person once told me that if each part of the couple spends exactly 51% of their life focusing on the needs and happiness of their partner, and it is reciprocated the same way in kind, you both end up with 100% and lose the selfish attitude in the journey. Its worked for over 22 years for us thus far....and it had worked for them for over 50 years when they told me that.

The key, of course, is finding a partner who shares the same philosophy. That's hard to do when you bring "yours and mine" into a conversation about "us." Marriage counselors today may proclaim otherwise...but then, they have a vested interest in their chosen vocations.

Good advice! Ours wasn't bad the first 9-10 years, but the last 8 have been horrid. Hard to live with someone that hates their life and doesn't realize how much happier they'd with help.

I'm sorry for my kids sake it took as long as it did for me to decide enough is enough, but we will all get thru it.

And ya, the list of things to talk about next time around is long.... Single life is sounding nice! LOL!!

 

[tesilential]

off topic

 

[hcho3]

For the rest of the current product life cycle until the next gen comes in the next Spring, There's plenty of time you can enjoy it. I bet you spend some time arguing or kneeing down your wife to buy it. If you you don't buy it now meaning your expectation for the gen2 is higher as you might heard from different source about its specs and you will feel more and more wanting to buy the gen2. I've discussed with my wife whether it will fit our life style (one kid family). We agree to get one but have been waiting for couple of months for it to come Thailand (ignore grey market) but seems no good news. So we decided to wait for the next gen in the next half a year, that fine for us. I expect these specs as heard from many sources :
1. Retina display
2. More ram
3. Faster speed with dual core (at least equal as major rival, PlayBook from BB)
4. Dual cameras
5. Ligther (from LiquidMetal technology)

Share us after you buy it (tomorrow right)

All this for 499 dollars? Not happening. Retina Display is so not happening.

 

[redman042]

All this for 499 dollars? Not happening. Retina Display is so not happening.

Agree. I don't expect a resolution bump for a couple generations. Look at all the competition coming out... they are all 1024x600 (ie. LESS than the current iPad).

A retina display at the iPad's screen size would be far more technically challenging (and costly) to implement than the iPhone 4's.

People just need to hold the iPad at a bit farther distance than the iPhone, sit back, and enjoy it. It looks great.

 

[mikechan1234]

Exactly but the other point I was trying to make was that the OP should not have to have permission to live. A marriage, relationship is a two-way street. If it works for him so much the better, but as an adult in a relationship that is supposed to be founded 50-50, I think the OP should know well enough if purchasing an iPad is feasible or not. This without the need to ask permission. Personally I could not and would not live this way.

As for my purchasing habits, even though I make a very good salary I tend to be very frugal. My daughter had a gen 1 iPod. Gen 1. About 3 or so years old, and her phone also tanked a few days ago, so to save money I got her a new iPhone 4. Living in Finland, the phone costs and data costs are very inexpensive.

Lmao is this thread about relationships now?

 

[Gloor]

Isn't it a bit sad that you need permission from your spouse to buy something with your own money?

 

[ReallyBigFeet]

Lmao is this thread about relationships now?

We are talking Apple products....they are ALWAYS about relationships.

 

[diabolic]

Isn't it a bit sad that you need permission from your spouse to buy something with your own money?

For a lot of us with a spouse, it's our money, collectively, not individually. And that's by choice.

 

[sapporobaby]

I typed a long post.... Then deleted it.

But this is what i was trying to get out. A healthy attitude about "yours, mine and ours" is required.

I'm overly sensitive to all that was posted because for the last 5 years or so I've been in an emotionally and economically abusive marriage. The good news is i go to trial next month, AND after 22 months he appears to be moving out before the judge reefs him out. Yay me.

If i ever do this couple thing again.... Things will be different. Some of you wouldn't make the potential list.

Good for you. Kick the bum out. Life is too short to be with someone and be miserable. You can be miserable alone.

 

[ravenas]

FWIW, I debated long and hard before I got my iPad. It's not a "need" product but simply a "want". That puts it in discretionary spending and much hemming and hawing.

I finally pulled the trigger on it because I had spent a month looking after my senior dad, had to cancel my birthday trip to Disney to continue caring for him and felt I could gift myself the thing as a pick-me-up.

My BIL craved one too but he'd never get it for himself because it's just too much money to throw away when you have a mortgage and kids. But seeing how much I enjoyed mine, my sister decided to gift her hubbie one for his birthday. They're both ecstatic about that.

Having used my iPad for a month now I can honestly say it was worth it. It doesn't replace my laptops but does allow me to use a computer in ways I couldn't before. I specifically enjoy reading on the device. Watching videos and playing games is also fun. The PIM functions (email, contacts, calendar) are so much easier on the iPad than laptop too. The weight is a bit wearing after a while and I do wish it had cameras (a Skype video over WiFi app would be killer), but the size is just right for viewing. I'd also love a built-in video out and memory card slot.

I'm not enamored with the 7" displays coming out. I have a 10" netbook with the same resolution and it's tiny. I bumped up to a 12" (with a comparable display to an iPad) and it feels right.

I wish I had not second-guessed myself and got the 64GB instead of the 32GB. I'm glad I didn't get the 3G (my VirginMobile MiFi is a more versatile device). I expect next year Apple will come out with an even better device, perhaps lighter and definitely with cameras.

Since it has filled a void for me, I plan to upgrade with version 2.0 and gift my 1.0 device to my brother. He's paying a mortgage and raising 4 kids (all approaching teenage years). I expect he won't have money for tech toys for quite some time. I'd be happy to be the gifting sister to him. He could use a break.

 

[Gloor]

For a lot of us with a spouse, it's our money, collectively, not individually. And that's by choice.

So you lose the freedom of choice? You work really hard, your spouse works really hard. You both contribute yet you need to get permission? What happens if she/he says NO! Do you resent her/him? Do you buy it anyway? Do you not buy it as he/she said no but you really want that think?

I know that there are a lot of "models" for the correct way but I found this one to be the one with biggest flaws. I can't imagine going to my wife and say: "Can I please buy an iPad because I really like it and really want it". To me, its like asking my mum if I can buy something years ago when I was a child.
)

What I always had is that both partners contribute evenly (either by specific amount or by % of their salary depending on the fact if there is a big gap in income or not) and that goes to join account. Everything else is yours and her for spending so If I make lets say $10000 and I contribute $3000 to the join account then I have $7000 for myself. Same works for the partner. I think this is way healthier model as its the best of both.

 

[TraceyS/FL]

I wish everyone would say if they were married, single, divorced..... You know, because it makes armchair analyzing sooooo much easier!

So you lose the freedom of choice? You work really hard, your spouse works really hard. You both contribute yet you need to get permission? What happens if she/he says NO! Do you resent her/him? Do you buy it anyway? Do you not buy it as he/she said no but you really want that think?

I know that there are a lot of "models" for the correct way but I found this one to be the one with biggest flaws. I can't imagine going to my wife and say: "Can I please buy an iPad because I really like it and really want it". To me, its like asking my mum if I can buy something years ago when I was a child.
)

it really will depend on the relationship. I've been married for 18y5m (but whose counting?). We had a healthy way of dealing with finances for awhile, but when things switched to him being the sole provider so i could stay home with the kids, his attitude changed to "his money" and the rest of us be damned. His parents have the "my money" thing going on, and I hear some really unhealthy stuff from them. As in, "you owe me $15 because i bought your dinner." In their case they don't have a joint account at all.

How is this healthy in a relationship? It is indicative in a variety of problems i see in their relationship, and what developed in mine. My "husband" can't see/hear that in his case with a wife and 3 kids that maybe family should come first. What works 1/2 way for his parents is because they are in their late 60's and retired.

Anything can be made to work if their is healthy respect for all parties involved.

What I always had is that both partners contribute evenly (either by specific amount or by % of their salary depending on the fact if there is a big gap in income or not) and that goes to join account. Everything else is yours and her for spending so If I make lets say $10000 and I contribute $3000 to the join account then I have $7000 for myself. Same works for the partner. I think this is way healthier model as its the best of both.

I would say you have it backwards..... That a fixed amount for personal spending to each partner is better. Because if you are "getting" 7k to spend a month and your partner is only left with $200, it's going to get ugly over time.

It just depends on the family makeup and the parties involved.

I'm pretty sure most of you would find me a cheap wife. Throw some tech at me 1-2x a year and I'm good to go, well, as long as i have enough to get a haircut and feed my comfy shoe fetish every so often.

But again, everyone shouldn't be so quick to judge the OP and others for what works in their relationship. Give them mega kudos for having the ability to communicate on the subject.....

 

[sapporobaby]

I wish everyone would say if they were married, single, divorced..... You know, because it makes armchair analyzing sooooo much easier!


it really will depend on the relationship. I've been married for 18y5m (but whose counting?). We had a healthy way of dealing with finances for awhile, but when things switched to him being the sole provider so i could stay home with the kids, his attitude changed to "his money" and the rest of us be damned. His parents have the "my money" thing going on, and I hear some really unhealthy stuff from them. As in, "you owe me $15 because i bought your dinner." In their case they don't have a joint account at all.

How is this healthy in a relationship? It is indicative in a variety of problems i see in their relationship, and what developed in mine. My "husband" can't see/hear that in his case with a wife and 3 kids that maybe family should come first. What works 1/2 way for his parents is because they are in their late 60's and retired.

Anything can be made to work if their is healthy respect for all parties involved.


I would say you have it backwards..... That a fixed amount for personal spending to each partner is better. Because if you are "getting" 7k to spend a month and your partner is only left with $200, it's going to get ugly over time.

It just depends on the family makeup and the parties involved.

I'm pretty sure most of you would find me a cheap wife. Throw some tech at me 1-2x a year and I'm good to go, well, as long as i have enough to get a haircut and feed my comfy shoe fetish every so often.

But again, everyone shouldn't be so quick to judge the OP and others for what works in their relationship. Give them mega kudos for having the ability to communicate on the subject.....

Good post. I'm married and I make more than my wife. I contribute to the household expense and pay a higher percentage because I make more. I also leave a caveat that if my wife needs additional funds or simply wants something, new bag, iPad, Hermes scarf (yuk in my opinion), etc... I have no problems with either chipping in so that she too can get something she wants or I just buy it out right for her. In my mind this is fair.

 

[ngenerator]

I think I'm going to hang around in an store tonight and hit on potential girlfriends

 

[nixiemaiden]

I would say you have it backwards..... That a fixed amount for personal spending to each partner is better. Because if you are "getting" 7k to spend a month and your partner is only left with $200, it's going to get ugly over time.

Both parties don't necessarily contribute the same amount of money to the "joint" account. You can do it by a certain percentage so that both parties have about an even amount for themselves.

I am not married but I live with my boyfriend. If I do ever get married and my husband makes more money than me, I would be ok with him having more money left over than me. The only way I would want him to contribute more to the "joint" account is if he made me live above my own means due to his higher income. Like say I can only afford $500 for rent/mortgage a month but he wants a house that is going to cost $1,500 for rent/mortgage. He would know going into it that I can only afford $500 so he would be responsible for the other $1,000.

Right now I am lucky because me and my boyfriend both make around the same income and we just split the "household" bills down the middle. When we go out we usually each pay our own way or take turns paying.

 

[Night Spring]

Like say I can only afford $500 for rent/mortgage a month but he wants a house that is going to cost $1,500 for rent/mortgage. He would know going into it that I can only afford $500 so he would be responsible for the other $1,000.

Yikes, that's just not how marriages are supposed to work. What if one of you became unemployed, or ill/injured and can't work? What if you start a family, and decide one of you will stay home as the primary caretaker? If you are going to think about finances like that, you might as well not get married and just live together -- which of course is what you are doing right now, so I suppose you are at least acting consistently with your own philosophy.

 

[TraceyS/FL]

I think I'm going to hang around in an store tonight and hit on potential girlfriends

I can HIGHLY recommend a shared interest in tech toys... Or at least an understanding of them....

My Apple stores are full of tourists or guys too young for me. Don't think it will work for me - but i hope it works for you! LOL!!

 

[hexhead]

Right now I am lucky because me and my boyfriend both make around the same income and we just split the "household" bills down the middle. When we go out we usually each pay our own way or take turns paying.

So you're really just roommates with benefits.

 

[TraceyS/FL]

Yikes, that's just not how marriages are supposed to work. What if one of you became unemployed, or ill/injured and can't work? What if you start a family, and decide one of you will stay home as the primary caretaker? If you are going to think about finances like that, you might as well not get married and just live together -- which of course is what you are doing right now, so I suppose you are at least acting consistently with your own philosophy.

I have to agree with Night Spring, that's not how it is supposed to play out. Those scenarios are very valid and something to ponder before taking the "I do" plunge.

I've seen it done your way, but it was mostly in couples that married later in life and had had their own households for a long time first. It sorta irked, i just never got the "I married my soul mate" feeling, but more of a "we married for a tax break" one! LOL!!

But still, everyone needs to do what works for their relationship. No matter how things sound on the screen, it rarely is how it really is in life you know?

 

[Gloor]

Both parties don't necessarily contribute the same amount of money to the "joint" account. You can do it by a certain percentage so that both parties have about an even amount for themselves.

I am not married but I live with my boyfriend. If I do ever get married and my husband makes more money than me, I would be ok with him having more money left over than me. The only way I would want him to contribute more to the "joint" account is if he made me live above my own means due to his higher income. Like say I can only afford $500 for rent/mortgage a month but he wants a house that is going to cost $1,500 for rent/mortgage. He would know going into it that I can only afford $500 so he would be responsible for the other $1,000.

Right now I am lucky because me and my boyfriend both make around the same income and we just split the "household" bills down the middle. When we go out we usually each pay our own way or take turns paying.

Yes, thats correct.
For me it is the fairness that I want from the relationship. If we both contribute 40% of our wages then its fair in my opinion. (yes, there might be cases when not but that can be sorted too).

As others mention too, it gets tricky when you get kids and I agree that this model will be unusable. (haven't been there yet though)
I think what is then fair that the husband "gives" salary to his wife for the hard work she does with the kids and then he pays for the household. That way, the woman has some money she can spend the way she wants and there is no resentment on either side as both have their own money they can spend in their own way. It gives certain amount of freedom to each other.

As I said, with kids it gets really tricky and there is really no simple or right answer. Just a different approach as no one can really put value on the hard work the woman does when looking after the kids (and trust me, it is hard work)

But yes, as others mention, whatever makes you happy and works for you is fine. I just disagree with the model that OP has but we are all different so good luck. )

P.s.: I would wait for the next revision unless you don't need the camera or anything that is missing from the current one.

 

[nixiemaiden]

Yikes, that's just not how marriages are supposed to work. What if one of you became unemployed, or ill/injured and can't work? What if you start a family, and decide one of you will stay home as the primary caretaker? If you are going to think about finances like that, you might as well not get married and just live together -- which of course is what you are doing right now, so I suppose you are at least acting consistently with your own philosophy.

That sort of thing would have to be thought of before hand as well. When choosing a living arrangement and what you can afford the total household income needs to be looked at...whether that be one sole provider or both parties being able to contribute. My example was just to show that everything doesn't need to be divided exactly evenly. Like if one party insists on having a car that is a $700 a month car payment and the other decides that sort of thing is not that important and would rather have extra money at the end of the month and opts for a car with a $200 payment...should the person with the $200 car payment have to dip into the savings they budgeted for to help pay the $700 a month car payment? I don't think they should have to and I also don't think it would be fair for me to tell someone they can't have something when it is within their means to afford it on their own if they choose.

You also need to have backup savings and plans for if someone becomes unemployed or ill/injured. These would be hard on anyone no matter how you handle your finances. If your mortgage is $1,500 a month and one person gets injured or loses their job, well guess what...your means to survive just changed and you need to adjust accordingly. It doesn't matter how the payment was divided before whatever unexpected event happened.

So you're really just roommates with benefits.

I wouldn't have it any other way. Me and my boyfriend are both very independent people and we have a great relationship and it works well for us. I see other couples fight over money and we are able to both buy things we want without fighting or arguing. And also it isn't like we are totally selfish people. If he needed extra money for something he really wanted, and I had extra money, I would give it to him and he would do the same for me.

And yes...I do realize that once kids are involved things will change. If that ever happens I can reanalyze my situation and decide what is best at that time. I will still probably opt for separate accounts though because I want at least some form of financial independence. I see people staying in bad relationships for the wrong reasons all the time...one of which is feeling financially dependent on another person. I do not ever want to feel like I am stuck in a relationship for that reason.

I have to agree with Night Spring, that's not how it is supposed to play out. Those scenarios are very valid and something to ponder before taking the "I do" plunge.

I've seen it done your way, but it was mostly in couples that married later in life and had had their own households for a long time first. It sorta irked, i just never got the "I married my soul mate" feeling, but more of a "we married for a tax break" one! LOL!!

But still, everyone needs to do what works for their relationship. No matter how things sound on the screen, it rarely is how it really is in life you know?

This is sort of the situation with me and my boyfriend now. We are both in our late 20s and we were both on our own before we moved in together. (Maybe not a long time...I was living by myself for 3 years and he was living with roommates for 8 years before we moved in together)....