Apple's upgrade pricing for SSD storage and memory (DRAM) are high, but the situation probably isn't as bad or "insane" as many think.
On the Mac mini you can just add an external SSD so I don't think there is really much need for significant user upgrades there.
Thus, the SSD situation seems kind of a non issue (i.e. if you object to the cost just don't get Apple's upgrade). Then, for aditional data storage use an external drive. For a MacBook you might even consider using something like a USB thumb drive.
The situation with memory is more complicated, but I think many people are overlooking the fact that Apple silicon doesn't use standard DRAM. One should NOT simply assume that Apple is using non-user-upgradable memory as a way to jack up their pricing.
The type of low-power-consumption memory (LPDDR5) used with Apple silicon typically can't be installed in DIMMs/slots. The same is true for the new Qualcomm Snapdragon X Elite PCs. That said, there is a new LPDDR5 format that can be installed in removable "slots" but that may be too recent of a development for use in Apple's current generation of Macs. Maybe next year in the Mac Studio or Mac Pro?
Here is a link to more information on this development:
https://www.crucial.com/articles/about-memory/what-is-lpcamm
But, it looks like this new type of user-replacable memory is pretty expensive right now. A 32GB module is currently $175 when direct from Crucial/Micron, while 64GB is $330. Meanwhile two sticks of 16GB DDR4 SODIMM memory (32GB total) is just $66. So, we're talking a 3X difference in cost and that probably covers much of the pricing differences from Apple (not fully, as obviously they are still making a VERY significant profit from these upgrades).
Finally, note that Dell charges $300 to go from 16GB to 32GB of memory on their XPS 13 laptop, but that also includes an increase from a 512GB to 1TB SSD. But, I'm certain that Apple's internal SSD/storage is MUCH faster than Dell's NVMe drive. Thus, to match specs just use external storage on a Mac. Perhaps not an ideal situation, but a kind of workaround to the prices.