What’s on your mind?

[Apple fanboy]

One of the problems with social media is when you receive a DM from a complete stranger. The person refused to tell me how they found me, and I asked them if they know who I am, and they also said no. I just hate when that happens... It's not even clear to me if they're a real human. Anyway, I blocked them so no worries there.

Just another reason to not be on any.

 

[rm5]

Just another reason to not be on any.

Well, it's too late at this point, but you're right.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Well, it's too late at this point, but you're right.

Never too late. Just hit delete.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

One of the problems with social media is when you receive a DM from a complete stranger. The person refused to tell me how they found me, and I asked them if they know who I am, and they also said no. I just hate when that happens... It's not even clear to me if they're a real human. Anyway, I blocked them so no worries there.

Not a fan of bizarre DMs from complete strangers, not least the presumption that you are perfectly fine with such a violation of personal, or private, space, even if it is virtual space.

Blocking this individual - irrespective of whether he/she/it was human or not - was the right move.

 

[ericwn]

Just another reason to not be on any.

Yet here we are on a social medium exchanging messages as strangers.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Yet here we are on a social medium exchanging messages as strangers.

True.

However, @rm5's post and subsequent remarks concerned (the abuse of) DMs, which are a separate matter.

 

[ericwn]

True.

However, @rm5's post and subsequent remarks concerned (the abuse of) DMs, which are a separate matter.

Yup I am capable of reading too, am solely pointing to the fact that sitting in one type of social network and pointing to another is what is happening. I can DM a stranger from here too.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Yet here we are on a social medium exchanging messages as strangers.

The difference here is I will receive zero notifications from anyone trying to contact me from MR until I log in. There is also very little personal information I share on here. So I’m not getting a file built up on me like FB does for example (that they then sell on).

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Yup I am capable of reading too, am solely pointing to the fact that sitting in one type of social network and pointing to another is what is happening.

Fair enough.

However, I would argue that rather than a double standard - or, while admitting that such standards may need (minor?) modification when engaging with elements of the modern world - it is simply setting out (and enforcing, and rigorously policing) separate standards for different and separate forms of online communication, which is what one does in many other areas of one's life.

One does not need to be equally accessible to everyone, and, in real life, one isn't.

Moreover, many online platforms seek to ridicule - and undermine - the very idea of privacy, as it in their interest to erode barriers to accessing people (and their data).

I can DM a stranger from here too.

Why would you want to?

Unless there was something that you wished to discuss privately and you thought that they might be open to receiving such an overture.

 

[ericwn]

Fair enough.

However, I would argue that rather than a double standard - or, while admitting that such standards may need (minor?) modification when engaging with elements of the modern world - it is simply setting out (and enforcing, and rigorously policing) separate standards for different and separate forms of online communication, which is what one does in many other areas of one's life.

One does not need to be equally accessible to everyone, and, in real life, one isn't.

Moreover, many online platforms seek to ridicule - and undermine - the very idea of privacy, as it in their interest to erode barriers to accessing people (and their data).

Why would you want to?

Unless there was something that you wished to discuss privately and you thought that they might be open to receiving such an overture.

I can reach out to a stranger on any platform. These are all social media platforms.that is the ping I am making. I find it amazing that you folks who have tens of thousands of posts about your specific preferences think you are any less visible online here than elsewhere. Any half decent AI bot can come up with a good profile about us. Anyone can read most of the posts on this forum.

In real life, one has to learn to deal with strangers. They might be at your door, in your inbox or in social media, and none of these are rare occurrences.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I can reach out to a stranger on any platform. These are all social media platforms.that is the ping I am making. I find it amazing that you folks who have tens of thousands of posts about your specific preferences think you are any less visible online here than elsewhere. Any half decent AI bot can come up with a good profile about us. Anyone can read most of the posts on this forum.

In real life, one has to learn to deal with strangers. They might be at your door, in your inbox or in social media, and none of these are rare occurrences.

Someone knocks on the door there’s about a 90% chance it will get ignored. Unless I know I’m expecting a parcel.
We stopped taking parcels in at our old address for neighbours as two neighbours treated our house like an Amazon drop off centre (including one who we hardly spoke to who had it on her delivery address to leave at our house if no one is in).
As for emails or PM’s you can choose to engage or ignore. I know which I’m most likely to do.

 

[Clix Pix]

What's on my mind? Well, speaking of social media and Facebook, I really wish that our POTD (Photo of the Day) thread here at MR in the Digital Photography subforum weren't becoming more and more like Facebook. It's quite annoying. People post photos which really belong on FB or in family-and-close-friend private groups rather than on a public website viewed by many, many strangers: their meals, their snacks, their kids, their grandkids, their snapshots of their pets, etc., etc.

And as for PMs (private messages) or DMs (I guess that's FB's name for the same thing?): I really wish people would use them more rather than cluttering up the POTD with chit-chat, jokes, questions or comments better specifically directed to the individual concerned rather than interrupting the flow of the images in the POTD.

 

[rm5]

What's on my mind? Well, speaking of social media and Facebook, I really wish that our POTD (Photo of the Day) thread here at MR in the Digital Photography subforum weren't becoming more and more like Facebook. It's quite annoying. People post photos which really belong on FB or in family-and-close-friend private groups rather than on a public website viewed by many, many strangers: their meals, their snacks, their kids, their grandkids, their snapshots of their pets, etc., etc.

I'll say it again - this site isn't a replacement for Facebook or any social media platform. Unless there's a very specific reason to post such an image (which I can't think of any), there's no point. What I like seeing in those threads are the creative, meaningful photos taken by people, and I'm sure you'd agree.

 

[rm5]

Lemme clear something up—I don't mind receiving DMs, in fact, sometimes it can end up being fun talking to the person, but if they refuse to tell me where they added me from, that's a problem. I should add this was on Instagram, not Facebook.

Also, the moment I start getting upset about something happening online, I'll simply close my computer and go for a walk or something. I never want it to become a larger problem, and I've seen that happen with multiple people, where they keep engaging and then it just becomes a disaster. I see this especially on Discord.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

I can reach out to a stranger on any platform.

In real life, you knock on the door (or should knock on a door) - especially if it is a private space, an office, a study, a bedroom, a bathroom - before entering a room where someone is.

To do otherwise, is incredibly bad manners, and extraordinarily presumptuous because it suggests that your right to their presence and time over-rides their preference and does not require permission.

Consent matters, even - indeed especially - in the online world. And, to my mind, you need permission, you need consent to enter a private or personal space, even if that is online.

Thus, in essence, I am arguing for the online equivalent.

Here, in this thread, we are all chatting together - or, conversing with one another - in what is the public part of the forum.

Of course, anyone can read what we post here; that is a given.

However, in the online space, DMs/PMs are an entirely separate matter, and are different.

These are all social media platforms.that is the ping I am making.

Yes, but that is no reason not to follow what used to be deemed norms of courtesy and manners.

I find it amazing that you folks who have tens of thousands of posts about your specific preferences think you are any less visible online here than elsewhere.

I accept that you are visible when you post online.

That, however, does not do away with the desire - and preference - to preserve the personal and private sphere, and to insist that consent - permission - the online equivalent of knocking on a door before entering a room ought still be sought.

Any half decent AI bot can come up with a good profile about us.

Agreed.

Anyone can read most of the posts on this forum.

On the public forum, yes, of course.

That is understood and is a given in this context.

However, that does not apply to DMs.

In real life, one has to learn to deal with strangers. They might be at your door, in your inbox or in social media, and none of these are rare occurrences.

Yes, you have to deal with them, but one can decide - such as by setting boundaries - how one chooses to deal with them when they encroach on the private and personal space.

At work, when deployed abroad, when shopping, or socialising, of course one meets strangers.

However, the key point is that you have already chosen to be in the public space or sphere, and that you will meet and encounter people follows from that.

My issue is with the presumption that - not least because social media seeks to challenge the existence of very concept of privacy, let alone a right to it seeking to replace it with the idea that everyone should be contactable at all times - that one has the right to contact anyone at any time, by any means, simply because one is able to do so, as the technology enables and facilitates this.

This fails to recognise that some people may prefer not to be contacted in such a manner, and that their consent and permission ought to be acquired - the equivalence of a polite knock on a door, or some other signal that shows consent has been given (such as giving someone a private email address, or your personal mobile/cell phone number).

Nevertheless, it is clear that we have yet to establish an agreed etiquette for how we navigate and relate to one another across the online world.

 

[KaiFiMacFan]

Lemme clear something up—I don't mind receiving DMs, in fact, sometimes it can end up being fun talking to the person, but if they refuse to tell me where they added me from, that's a problem. I should add this was on Instagram, not Facebook.

Also, the moment I start getting upset about something happening online, I'll simply close my computer and go for a walk or something. I never want it to become a larger problem, and I've seen that happen with multiple people, where they keep engaging and then it just becomes a disaster. I see this especially on Discord.

I get random DMs on Instagram too, mainly because my profile is not private. I keep it that way because I'm alright with letting anyone follow me and I don't want to have to personally approve every follower, but if the message is from a random person and says nothing more than "hey", I'm probably just going to ignore it. I'm open to meeting someone new online, but only if they're genuinely interested in getting to know me. (Also, I think it should be obvious from my Instagram profile that I'm in a relationship, so I'm not interested in that kind of contact).

 

[decafjava]

Some wise words here, I imagine what my grandparents would have thought of all this.

 

[ericwn]

In real life, you knock on the door (or should knock on a door) - especially if it is a private space, an office, a study, a bedroom, a bathroom - before entering a room where someone is.

To do otherwise, is incredibly bad manners, and extraordinarily presumptuous that you right to their presence and time over-rides their preference and permission.

Consent matters, even - indeed especially - in the online world. And, to my mind, you need permission, you need consent to enter a private or personal space, even if that is online.

Thus, in essence, I am arguing for the online equivalent.

Here, in this thread, we are all chatting together - or, conversing with one another - in what is the public part of the forum.

Of course, anyone can read what we post here; that is a given.

However, in the online space, DMs/PMs are an entirely separate matter, and are different.

Yes, but that is no reason not to follow what used to be deemed norms of courtesy and manners.

I accept that you are visible.

That, however, does not do away with the desire - and prefernce - to preserve the personal and private sphere, and to insist that consent - permission - the online equivalent of knocking on a door before entering a room ought still be sought.

Agreed.


On the public forum, yes, of course.

That is understood and is a given in this context.

However, that does not apply to DMs.

Yes, you have to deal with them, but one can decide - such as by setting boundaries - how one chooses to deal with them when they encroach on the private and personal space.

At work, when deployed abroad, when shopping, or socialising, of course one meets strangers.

However, the key point is that you have already chosen to be in the public space or sphere, and that you will meet and encounter people follows from that.

My issue is with the presumption that - not least because social media seeks to challenge the existence of very concept of privacy, let alone a right to it seeking to replace it with the idea that everyone should be contactable at all times - that one has the right to contact anyone at any time, by any means, simply because one is able to do so, as the technology enables and facilitates this.

This fails to recognise that some people may prefer not to be contacted in such a manner, and that their consent and permission ought to be acquired - the equivalence of a polite knock on a door, or some other signal that shows consent has been given (such as giving someone a private email address, or your personal mobile/cell phone number).

Nevertheless, it is clear that we have yet to establish an agreed etiquette for how we navigate and relate to one another across the online world.

I am not addressing what I’d personally like to see but what I am experiencing. Strangers come from all channels. We have to decide how to deal with it. By putting myself and my information out there I have enabled others to reach out. I might not like that but my initial action is the root cause that enabled that interaction.

 

[ericwn]

Someone knocks on the door there’s about a 90% chance it will get ignored. Unless I know I’m expecting a parcel.
We stopped taking parcels in at our old address for neighbours as two neighbours treated our house like an Amazon drop off centre (including one who we hardly spoke to who had it on her delivery address to leave at our house if no one is in).
As for emails or PM’s you can choose to engage or ignore. I know which I’m most likely to do.

Thank you for confirming my point. Decide what to do with strangers and move on.

 

[Lioness~]

I think the problem in the world is that 'most' people have no ethics, and a lot of them probably don't understand the word either.
Probably at least 80% of the human population don't know what they are doing here. Except producing kids, getting a work that give them means to live, stocking up some money and buying some more stuff with them, and producing some more kids.

The world gets more and more polluted, and it all comes from the minds of humans. That's all.

My home is not Earth, I'm just a visitor checking out this place.
The espresso's are fairly good here, as the one I'm sipping on at the moment as a pause from reorganization my kitchen storages.

Enjoy your day 😁

 

[icanhazmac]

We stopped taking parcels in at our old address for neighbours as two neighbours treated our house like an Amazon drop off centre (including one who we hardly spoke to who had it on her delivery address to leave at our house if no one is in).

WHAT?!?!?!

If a relatively unknown neighbor did that to me I would immediately move those boxes to the sidewalk or bring them in the house and call the carrier for them to be picked up as delivered to incorrect address.

Edit: I have certainly helped out neighbors I know but the above is unacceptable without asking for permission.

 

[Apple fanboy]

WHAT?!?!?!

If a relatively unknown neighbor did that to me I would immediately move those boxes to the sidewalk or bring them in the house and call the carrier for them to be picked up as delivered to incorrect address.

I basically told the Amazon driver we wouldn't accept any parcels without our names on. To be honest we had known them for a long time. Just didn't get on.

So glad we don't have those hassles where we live now. Much more peaceful and the neighbours are a little further away (although both properties were detached).

 

[Scepticalscribe]

The gardener arrived out today - somewhat unexpectedly - to attack some of the mad jungle growth of the past two to three months in the garden.

She will return at least twice more, and we had a chat over a mug of Ethiopian coffee (she loves good coffee).

 

[DaveFromCampbelltown]

We went to see Oppenheimer. My comments are in the Movie thread.

On a different note, I went on an marine expedition funded by Lewis Strauss Jr., his son. Both son and grandson were on the expedition. If the depiction of Strauss Sr's character was accurate, it explains much about son and grandson...

 

[DaveFromCampbelltown]

I think the problem in the world is that 'most' people have no ethics, and a lot of them probably don't understand the word either.
Probably at least 80% of the human population don't know what they are doing here. Except producing kids, getting a work that give them means to live, stocking up some money and buying some more stuff with them, and producing some more kids.

The world gets more and more polluted, and it all comes from the minds of humans. That's all.

My home is not Earth, I'm just a visitor checking out this place.
The espresso's are fairly good here, as the one I'm sipping on at the moment as a pause from reorganization my kitchen storages.

Enjoy your day 😁

I recently found out that "People think Steven Spielberg killed a Triceratops"

I think that the problem is that most people don't use any more of their brain than the amygdala.

Can I come and live on your planet? Will bring coffee...

PS, you may remember that, in the film, this animal is next to a pile of dung that Laura Dern sticks her arm into. I believe that she decides the Triceratops is sick because it has been eating kale. I accept this as true, because whenever I eat kale, I feel very much like the dinosaur, complete with groans.