It just doesn't make sense to me. It makes sense to throw Christmas stuff up a little early so you can do all your shopping well before the holiday, but Valentine's Day? Who's gonna get a Valentine's card a month and a half early?????
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- Thread starter Gutwrench
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It’s all about trying to make you spend. Who knows. If you buy your card a month early you might forget where you hid it and have to buy another!
Glad I don’t buy into any of that crap. No cards are ever bought in this household.
This year I won't partake in any Christmas activity or celebration. Not because I want to be different, simply because I'm going through a not so happy period of my life and I'm not really in the mood to celebrate anything. I've been invited to parties and declined, it wouldn't be fair to spoil other people's celebrations with my bad mood.
Sorry to hear that. I don’t even acknowledge Christmas let alone celebrate it.
Many don’t. It’s the expectation that the films, adverts and families put on people that most can’t live up to. Life just isn’t like that for many. Certainly isn’t for me.
Thanks.
We are expected to wear our happy face just because others have decided we should be celebrating and pretend everything is OK, but I'm done pretending, I won't ruin anyone's party, unfortunately too many people don't know the concept of boundary and insist on inviting, asking and giving unsolicited advice, of course until I don't stop myself from letting them know they're getting under my skin. I'd just want people to respect my state of mind, privacy and my choices, especially when those won't affect theirs.
Sadly Christmas is one of those times when people expect you to join in and be happy. It took me years to explain to people that Christmas is not for us. Now they have finally got the message. There will be no texts or phone calls tomorrow. I’ll probably just wash the car, go for a walk and my usual Sunday type routine.
The best things about not doing Christmas are
- Not having to stress about what to buy people.
- Not having to come up ideas for other people to buy me or Mrs AFB.
- Not having to worry about getting certain food for a certain day.
- Not having to attend parties or social gatherings.
- Not wasting any money.
- No guilty January where I’m xx pounds heavier.
It can be a tough and unhappy time of year for some due to loss or loneliness. Everybody has different circumstances and I think people need to respect other’s wishes. Don’t force celebration on people not wanting it and don’t be a downer to those that do. It all goes as quick as it comes and in a couple of days we will be looking at soggy wet grey days and dreading going back to work lol.
I have no issue with people celebrating however they wish. Good luck to them. I just don’t like those that insist we should join in to.
Some of my work colleagues come to mind for example.
‘But it’s Christmas’ doesn’t work for all. It’s just the 25th of December. Nothing special about that date that I need to celebrate.
I suppose it’s difficult to stay away from it at work as businesses tend to encourage people to come together at this time of year be it Xmas parties, office drinks, Xmas jumper days etc. Also if people don’t realise your views and the reason for them, they might think you’re mildly joking. I know a few who say they hate Christmas, but will end up joining in. I sympathise with you entirely, and understand it’s easy for others to misinterpret it. I know some will see it as a challenge to get you to join in without realising they are firmly overstepping the mark.
I remember our company used to send a card round and get everyone together for cake on someone’s birthday. A woman started with us and we did it for her and she ran out the office crying. The tradition stopped after that. HR really should have sort permission via an opt in/out in hindsight.
This year someone was telling me I was a miserable so and so for not joining in. I explained I lost my daughter at Christmas and that’s when it stopped for us. They still were insistent I should join in. Totally inconsiderate.
@Apple fanboy and @The-Real-Deal82:
I detest winter, and don't much care for Christmas (never did).
However, I think that it can be brutal for women, who have to bear much of the brunt of managing excessive seasonal expectations while juggling the challenges of planning for what are demanding dishes (and I write as an experienced and pretty good chef; the traditional Christmas dinner is an absolute nightmare from a logistical perspective), plus increased (idiotic) domestic demands, (both time-consuming and labour intensive) the burden of which mostly falls on women.
Agree completely about boundaries, respecting those of others, and not insisting that those who experience matters differently feel compelled, or be obliged, to join in - and agree about managing the burdens of excessive expectations, or, managing hopes (or expectations) of happiness - for, the season will not bring happiness if domestic conditions have not already facilitated it, despite the seasonal pressures of this narrative; and also - and this is key - accepting that not everyone experiences - or has experienced - this time of the year in a positive way, irrespective of the considerable pressures to pretend to do so.
I get that some wish to celebrate it - I can tolerate this is small doses, myself; however, not everyone wishes to do so, and this, too, should be respected.
Personally, I think that if families - and, or, people - choose to celebrate this festival, - they should think to do so in a way that allows them to craft their own traditions, (culinary and otherwise), in a way that frees them from the tyranny of having to observe traditions that are nothing more than an expression of societal and cultural expectations.
I detest winter, and don't much care for Christmas (never did).
However, I think that it can be brutal for women, who have to bear much of the brunt of managing excessive seasonal expectations while juggling the challenges of planning for what are demanding dishes (and I write as an experienced and pretty good chef; the traditional Christmas dinner is an absolute nightmare from a logistical perspective), plus increased (idiotic) domestic demands, (both time-consuming and labour intensive) the burden of which mostly falls on women.
Agree completely about boundaries, respecting those of others, and not insisting that those who experience matters differently feel compelled, or be obliged, to join in - and agree about managing the burdens of excessive expectations, or, managing hopes (or expectations) of happiness - for, the season will not bring happiness if domestic conditions have not already facilitated it, despite the seasonal pressures of this narrative; and also - and this is key - accepting that not everyone experiences - or has experienced - this time of the year in a positive way, irrespective of the considerable pressures to pretend to do so.
I get that some wish to celebrate it - I can tolerate this is small doses, myself; however, not everyone wishes to do so, and this, too, should be respected.
Personally, I think that if families - and, or, people - choose to celebrate this festival, - they should think to do so in a way that allows them to craft their own traditions, (culinary and otherwise), in a way that frees them from the tyranny of having to observe traditions that are nothing more than an expression of societal and cultural expectations.
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In our house as a child both parents prepared Christmas dinner. I would say about 50/50. My Dad used to do a lot of the cooking as he started work early (like 3am) so was home earlier than my Mum who did the traditional 9-5.
Raining here so no polish for Mrs AFB car today. Instead I gave the bathroom floor a good scrub and mop. My knees are not thanking me.
I would be having a chat with HR about that as it’s totally unacceptable. That could be considered bullying by that person and perhaps sociopathic in behaviour.
It’s the opposite way around in my family as the men do all the cooking and party planning and the women sort presents etc. I don’t know if it’s a Welsh thing but so many girls I know don’t cook, my wife and her Mum included. It seems to be a pattern across my social, work and family lives.
It got sorted. But not well. Just another reason I hate being in the office. At least it’s only 2 days a week.
Fascinating, @The-Real-Deal82 & @Apple fanboy:
In fairness, my dad did almost everything else (the laundry, lawns, bins, ironing....) aside from cooking, - and, a lot of the time, as an adult, I did the cooking, as I like food and cooking (and am pretty good at it), though it took trips to France for me to develop an interest in such things.
However, even if I liked Christmas, I will say that the preparation of that particular meal, laden with the burdens of tradition and expectation, are a challenge, as it requires getting a lot of different things right - and right, in the correct order - for a set, or specific, time.
Therefore, from the chef's perspective, it is not a particularly forgiving meal, and, once my mother abdicated responsibility for Christmas dinner, and it fell to me, with family agreement, I changed the menu, and tweaked some other traditions.
In fairness, my dad did almost everything else (the laundry, lawns, bins, ironing....) aside from cooking, - and, a lot of the time, as an adult, I did the cooking, as I like food and cooking (and am pretty good at it), though it took trips to France for me to develop an interest in such things.
However, even if I liked Christmas, I will say that the preparation of that particular meal, laden with the burdens of tradition and expectation, are a challenge, as it requires getting a lot of different things right - and right, in the correct order - for a set, or specific, time.
Therefore, from the chef's perspective, it is not a particularly forgiving meal, and, once my mother abdicated responsibility for Christmas dinner, and it fell to me, with family agreement, I changed the menu, and tweaked some other traditions.
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@The-Real-Deal82 is absolutely right; this is totally unacceptable, unprofessional, discourteous and disrespectful.
And judgmental; people should think a bit before they open their stupid mouths to give voice to a snap judgment, and be mindful that the lives - and lived experience - of others can be very different.
Well, while I'm not so sure that I'd go so far as to say 'sociopathic', it is thoughtless, insensitive, entirely inappropriate and utterly unprofessional and disrespectful for someone (irrespective of their rank, or grade) to act or behave in such a way.
Fair enough.
Sounds unpleasant.
Well, due to a challenging semester (that's all I will say here) I am working today to catch up on accounting and grades before the New Year. At least it is sunny and as I posted in the "What are you listening" to thread I wne to the opera last night and have tickets to the circus this week. May go somewhere (not too far) last minute for a few days in the New Year...
The opera?
Wow.
Hope you enjoyed it.
I'm impressed and envious; must head over there to check it out (that is, check out the details of the opera you saw).