I've used computers for many years. I too had a degree in computer science (Mathematics / Computer Science if we're being technical). I too do programming. And I'm also still in IT after many, many years.
The point you seem to be missing is these new machines seem to do better with less memory than other similar machines do with more. It's not about raw numbers. It's about real world performance.
On paper what you're saying makes sense. In real life however, it appears to not matter nearly as much. That doesn't mean extra memory is a thing of the past and it doesn't have its place. It's just in real life usage, it would seem for many tasks that you really can get by with less. And not just "get by", as in you can put up with it if you can't afford better. I'm talking "get by" as in you might not even notice the missing memory.
You have a lot of experience. So pay attention to some of the videos with an open mind. I'm a fan of this one as it's not about benchmarks and how quickly he can open all the apps on the machine. He's actually testing this to see if it can be his primary video editing computer. He tests it by basically doing his job. It doesn't get more "real world" than this.