Good, good OP... let the hate flow through you! The best wheel was the original, the caveman invented, all these Michelins, and Pirellis are just cheap knock offs!
Seriously though, I totally understand you, I was in the same boat as you. But once you try Android, you'll realize that lag (which really isn't there any more) and things like edge bounce-back is not very important.
Android has its own awesome positives that make it feel better than iOS, such as scrolling. The back button, etc...
Both platforms are great. But I don't think I'm going back to iOS.
As for Windows... as it is right now, Windows Phone is a budget OS, which is great, you can get a sweet phone with about 100 euro, it'll work smooth but many people don't like the OS (I don't like its squishy edge effects, where the text and menus get squished when you reach the edge of a list) and the industry seems to really want to burn Microsoft. I don't want Windows desktop OS to start declining because I really like it. More than OSX, more than Linux. I have no idea what could they come up with for the mobile side of things for Windows 10, I'm interested though.
The problem with Windows Phone is that; it's not as open, customizable and techy as Android and it's not as elegant, simple and hassle free as iOS. Both those categories are taken.