Do you have $3499 just laying around? Even with 0% APR, that's $291 a month for 12 months....plus tax....plus....AppleCare....plus accessories....If you're worried about catching Covid at home, you have larger issues to worry about.
$3500 + $200 for 512Gb + $99 for the lenses is not $5700. Apple hasn't said anything about cellular, so it's probably wifi only, but you can tether off your phone if needed. I seriously doubt a second battery will cost around $1900.
Seem like you should worry about basic math instead of VP.
No we get it, you don't like them.
And I don't worry about COVID. Just had it again, was at work everyday. One of the people I am seeing prolly gave it to me.