iGary said:
Indeed. As have you, and you seem to have come out shining. It is an inspiration.
Well blush. Thanks. A lot of the credit goes to my fellow MR members, my sister, and a great boss and gang I work with (in no particular order).
I still have my good and bad days. I guess that is why I am trying to travel as much as possible, and considering a change in location. The DC area is too painful emotionally when you have spent as much time doing the area with the one you loved.
I wonder if the French Foreign Legion would accept a out of shape 47 yo?
I'll be sure to reassure him that I certainly don't use any of the trips I have taken as booty calls. I'd never do that to him, but maybe he needs to hear it. That said, I can understand why he would rather me stay home, but if he has a problem with me going to NYC for a day with a friend, then we have other problems.
Just show him the picture I posted in this thread of myself, and he will see that I am a safe bet. <g>
But things happen. I remember many years ago a buddy of mine asked me to take care of his BF while he was gone for a three week business trip. His BF was new to the city, and really didn't know anyone. Well his BF ended up dumping him for me. Talk about awkward, he came over to lean on my shoulder about this "new guy" that he knew his BF was seeing.
The point being is that Rob needs to be comfortable with himself first in regards to the relationship. I know I was in mine. Never would I have suspected Teddy of cheating. It was only after finding a love note back in 2001 that I found out.
What aided Teddy in his deception was my work and his work. At the time I was with retail hours, and he used my Saturday work day to cruise LBJ park. And overtime hours at work, allowed him a quick tumble before heading home I found out.
And when I started to work from home for the company, he thought that I was cheating on him because of my time on the net and my "free time" during the day!
We do have our issues - but at the end of the day I chalk most of it up to financial, work and general lack of time together issues, honestly. He's never home, and when he does get home, I'm exhausted, if not asleep already. Then on weekends, we're both so whiped out that neither of us are any fun to be around. Most of my solo trips have been for marathoning, this was my first suggestion of an on my own trip.
These are excuses. Sorry for being blunt. Both Teddy and myself used these same words you used to explain away our problems. Or at least I did. There are times that I wonder of the what if's. I know that I am far from being a perfect lover.
For as my relationships age, I find that a tumble in the hay is not all that there is, at least for me. But like many, in a new relationship such "fun" is often intense and frequent. In our case there was a disconnect between our first years and our later years together in regards to intimacy.
Add to that, as time went on I faced more of the burden in keeping the financial ship afloat for the both of us. That meant less time doing things away from the house, and less time in "our" community. Even in our last weeks together; I bailed his rental car out of the tow lot, kept the frig filled with foods, and helped him with his Starbucks fix.
I share this not saying that you and Rob are headed down the same road. Lord, I hope not! But do so to provide some food for thought as to things that may be wrong, that can be fixed.
I know our Str8 friends/couples in Herndon were devastated to hear of our breakup. For we were role models if you can believe it, having been together for 13 years. For some of them could not get a marriage or relationship to last more than a few years. I guess it was hard on them, as it was for me - for when the end does come it seems to come on like a runaway freight train in the night.
It really sounds as if you and Rob need to make some time for each other. Just what sort of job has Rob out from 6AM till 10PM? I know you have your own company, but working yourself to death is not good either. I understand the marathon thing, but maybe you should limit yourself to two or three a year (when you get back to it of course) - in order to give you and Rob more time for each other.
