For the charger: just ask for a new one. I know you "shouldn't" have to deal with that in such an expensive machine but even with top tier QC, small issues like this one will always happen every once in a while. It's not about "giving apple a pass" it's about being realistic with your expectations, no company will deliver perfect products even if they obviously "should". If you're interested I can list you all the QC issues I've had over the years in the premium laptop business because if you think your charger issue is unacceptable you're in for a ride. You're calling Apple's quality a myth because of a damn charger, you really need to calm down and think about what you're saying.
For the screen: did you own a 2016+ Macbook Pro before? If you didn't, I have bad news for you: it does seem that most people complaining about ghosting are coming from earlier MBPs with better response times, but all the 2016+ have ghosting to some extent. My theory is that it wasn't a mentioned too foten before because people were focused on the bad keyboard and thermals + most people don't even notice ghosting.
For the popping: I mean come on, the latest update didn't completely fix the issue but it improved the situation to the point where you won't notice it in 95% of common scenarios. Considering Apple didn't claim this update was supposed to fix the popping I think it's fair to assume more improvements are to come.
Overall I gotta say calling all this a "terrible experience" seems so over the top. I expected you to have crashes and reboots daily, not some charger coil whine and popping when pressing random keys on the desktop.
Oh forgot the whole battery thing. CoconutBattery's results aren't 100% guaranteed, there's some margin for errors. Also you need to wait for a few cycles before you even get accurate-ish figures.