What’s on your mind?

[Scepticalscribe]

I've earn't next to nothing in my past and have always spent less than I earn. Granted rent was much cheaper back then, but I learnt that if you have to sacrifice going out or the latest tech to save up for a bit, you can deal with most things that happen in life.
Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

Yes, but my point was that wages when you were young(er) weren't the current slave style minimum wage and zero hours contracts - they were regular and one could plan, save, and calculate outgoings as a consequence. Low but regular wages, and affordable rents meant you could plan.

I would imagine that it is next to impossible to plan one's life if one is living in a world dominated by zero hours contracts because you literally do not know what you will be earning from day to day, let alone week to week.

 

[kazmac]

Scaling the positivity mountain - again. I have a lot to be grateful for, so working on keeping that mindset going.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Yes, but my point was that wages when you were young(er) weren't the current slave style minimum wage and zero hours contracts - they were regular and one could plan, save, and calculate outgoings as a consequence. Low but regular wages, and affordable rents meant you could plan.

I would imagine that it is next to impossible to plan one's life if one is living in a world dominated by zero hours contracts because you literally do not know what you will be earning from day to day, let alone week to week.

You’d be surprised how little you can earn when you leave school at 15. My hours weren’t guaranteed back then.
But agree zero hours contracts are terrible for people to plan their lives around. Both financially and everything else.

 

[Matz]

Scaling the positivity mountain - again. I have a lot to be grateful for, so working on keeping that mindset going.

The state of gratitude is seldom mentioned and often underrated. I find it to be an incredibly powerful experience; literally shifting my perception of the world.

Glad you are in recovery and gratitude.

On a completely different topic, this morning I entered four of my old (one to four years old) poems in contests on a poetry site of which I’m a member. Haven’t written a new one in over a year, but am surprised every time I go to my acccount page and see that I’ve written 110 of them in the span of 5 years.
Some of them are actually not too bad. Some others, well...

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Scaling the positivity mountain - again. I have a lot to be grateful for, so working on keeping that mindset going.

The state of gratitude is seldom mentioned and often underrated. I find it to be an incredibly powerful experience; literally shifting my perception of the world.

Glad you are in recovery and gratitude.

On a completely different topic, this morning I entered four of my old (one to four years old) poems in contests on a poetry site of which I’m a member. Haven’t written a new one in over a year, but am surprised every time I go to my acccount page and see that I’ve written 110 of them in the span of 5 years.
Some of them are actually not too bad. Some others, well...

Cultivating a state of gratitude, and saluting and recognising small kindnesses - which can make an enormous difference to how you experience a day or week - are the kind of things that I think we appreciate too little, especially when we are young.

 

[kazmac]

The state of gratitude is seldom mentioned and often underrated. I find it to be an incredibly powerful experience; literally shifting my perception of the world.

Glad you are in recovery and gratitude.

On a completely different topic, this morning I entered four of my old (one to four years old) poems in contests on a poetry site of which I’m a member. Haven’t written a new one in over a year, but am surprised every time I go to my acccount page and see that I’ve written 110 of them in the span of 5 years.
Some of them are actually not too bad. Some others, well...

Thank you for the kind words and the encouragement. I’ve been working on being more positive over the past two years and it is a process. Gratitude and thanks for things big and small do help my mindset.

Considering I nearly died in July, I do have a lot to be grateful for.

Many congratulations on being that prolific with your poetry. Creativity is such a great thing: inspiring, relaxing. One of the reasons why I keep coming here is the chance to see other members’ creative works and that eventually pushes me toward creating too.

I wish you all the best of luck with those contests.

 

[AngerDanger]

How much anthropamorphs tend to anthropomorphize things—particularly life itself. If a fellow human is eating pizza, you could ask what their favorite topping is; if a fellow human says something that confuses you, you can ask them what they mean; if a fellow human's son was reported to have suffered lethal puncture wounds, I guess you could ask if they ever recovered. People ask the latter two questions of life and are treated as reasonable, but I tend to think it's as odd as asking life the first question.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

How much anthropamorphs tend to anthropomorphize things—particularly life itself. If a fellow human is eating pizza, you could ask what their favorite topping is; if a fellow human says something that confuses you, you can ask them what they mean; if a fellow human's son was reported to have suffered lethal puncture wounds, I guess you could ask if they ever recovered. People ask the latter two questions of life and are treated as reasonable, but I tend to think it's as odd as asking life the first question.

The first question is falls under the heading of the sort of social lubrication described as 'small talk' (and perhaps motivated by some slight curiosity); the third - one would hope - would be phrased with a greater degree of empathy - when one hears the word "lethal" (or "mortal") wound, one does not automatically assume recovery as the word used is its own descriptor.

 

[Lioness~]

I’m beyond blessed with such an Ashtanga teacher.
God’s paths works in mysterious ways.

I love those people that even if you haven’t met in yrs, you can catch up directly and openly, as if it was yesterday you met last time.

 

[AngerDanger]

The first question is falls under the heading of the sort of social lubrication described as 'small talk' (and perhaps motivated by some slight curiosity); the third - one would hope - would be phrased with a greater degree of empathy - when one hears the word "lethal" (or "mortal") wound, one does not automatically assume recovery as the word used is its own descriptor.

That's why I said, "if a fellow human's son was reported to have suffered lethal puncture wounds, I guess you could ask if they ever recovered," using italics to add inflection and emphasize how odd it'd be.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

That's why I said, "if a fellow human's son was reported to have suffered lethal puncture wounds, I guess you could ask if they ever recovered," using italics to add inflection and emphasize how odd it'd be.

You could, but (most likely) you wouldn't.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Had what are quaintly described as "internet issues" today; the state's carer arrived an hour and a half late at (or rather, after, lunch) to help return Mother to bed (that requires two people and a hoist), and Mother is still somewhat zombified.

But, you know, it could be a lot worse.

Dinner (sautéed aubergine/eggplant with loads of garlic, roasted tomatoes and roasted carrots with - again - loads of garlic, plus basmati rice, what is there not to like?) was delicious.

And I have a fat book - which arrived in the post this morning (a gift from a friend) to greet.

 

[ThisBougieLife]

Are "fall allergies" a thing? I think I sneezed five times yesterday...

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Are "fall allergies" a thing? I think I sneezed five times yesterday...

Could be a cold coming on, and not an allergy.

 

[ThisBougieLife]

Well, when I get a cold, it essentially always starts with a sore throat, and other than sneezing, I don't have any other symptoms. Even last year I remember going for bike rides in October and when I was done, my face would be on fire with watery itchy eyes and stuffed up sinuses. Never turned into a cold, just a temporary irritation. So I don't know.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Well, when I get a cold, it essentially always starts with a sore throat, and other than sneezing, I don't have any other symptoms. Even last year I remember going for bike rides in October and when I was done, my face would be on fire with watery itchy eyes and stuffed up sinuses. Never turned into a cold, just a temporary irritation. So I don't know.

When I am at home in my corner of northern Europe, my colds usually start with sore sinuses and a sore throat.

But often, when abroad, they may start differently, frequently omitting the sore throat stage.

But: Stuffed sinuses.

What triggers them? Are you hydrating sufficiently - I am prone to sinus issues, and have found that drinking plenty of water (around two litres a day, rarely less than one and a half) has alleviated (not cured) and eased these symptoms.

 

[Gutwrench]

I’m not a germaphobe but when in public I try to never use my hands to open doors, use my elbow on the railings on an escalator and stairs, and try to never touch my face...especially in the winter.

 

[AngerDanger]

Cuterebras

 

[Apple fanboy]

I’m not a germaphobe but when in public I try to never use my hands to open doors, use my elbow on the railings on an escalator and stairs, and try to never touch my face...especially in the winter.

Especially toilet doors. Most public men’s toilet doors require you to pull the handle to get out. I tend to open them with paper towel if possible.
But I always keep alcohol gel in my coat pocket.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

I’m not a germaphobe but when in public I try to never use my hands to open doors, use my elbow on the railings on an escalator and stairs, and try to never touch my face...especially in the winter.

Especially toilet doors. Most public men’s toilet doors require you to pull the handle to get out. I tend to open them with paper towel if possible.
But I always keep alcohol gel in my coat pocket.

Well, yes.

But - worse still, and I had never even considered it until my recent trip abroad, and the whopping cold I developed - are those ghastly plastic bins you use in security in airports. I was advised to wash my hands immediately after passing through security, and it is advice I shall heed in the future. At least, in the toilets and restrooms in airports, you almost always see cleaners beavering away at their labours.

 

[ApplePersonFreak]

Having a bit of a ‘quarter’ life crisis here. I’m currently 25 years old, turning 26 in April of next year. I’ve been single for quite awhile (6 years already I think) and I haven’t been in a relationship in awhile. I know everyone says I’m still young and have plenty of time, but since I have such high standards for men, it’s been so hard for me to date anymore because it’s hard to tell who’s actually genuine and who’s not.

I’m just trying to not think about it and live my life, and hoping that he will come when I least expect it, but it’s getting tough. I try not to let other people’s timeline affect me (a majority of people I went to school with are either in a relationship, engaged, or married) by now.. anyone have any advice or have stories to share?

 

[Huntn]

Having a bit of a ‘quarter’ life crisis here. I’m currently 25 years old, turning 26 in April of next year. I’ve been single for quite awhile (6 years already I think) and I haven’t been in a relationship in awhile. I know everyone says I’m still young and have plenty of time, but since I have such high standards for men, it’s been so hard for me to date anymore because it’s hard to tell who’s actually genuine and who’s not.

I’m just trying to not think about it and live my life, and hoping that he will come when I least expect it, but it’s getting tough. I try not to let other people’s timeline affect me (a majority of people I went to school with are either in a relationship, engaged, or married) by now.. anyone have any advice or have stories to share?

If you need companionship, why not date and just see how it goes? It’s pretty simple if you let it be. If you enjoy someone’s company, you are good. No need to jump into a marriage. No marriage is better than a bad one, but there are no gurauntees that any relationship will prevail, and the person you are involved with could turn into an ass, you just don’t know. Some risk is involved.

My parents divorced when I was in college. I decided that I must live with someone, and be intimate with them before I ever considered marriage. As it turned out, I was in the Navy, I had orders, we were intimate, and I invited my girlfriend to come live with me in California. She said yes, but was worried her parents would disown her. In the end I had been dating her for over a year, were exclusive, did not want to put her in a bind, and decided the chance was worth it, so we got married in 1980 (I was 25, she was 20) and are still married, but we do have fights. So that is something else to consider. That exciting newness does not prevail in the long run, but love can prevail, and you have to be willing to accept compromise and conflict. If that sounds like too much trouble, maybe it’s better to be a bachelor/ette, with a part/full time girl/boy friend.

 

[D.T.]

Having a bit of a ‘quarter’ life crisis here. I’m currently 25 years old, turning 26 in April of next year. I’ve been single for quite awhile (6 years already I think) and I haven’t been in a relationship in awhile. I know everyone says I’m still young and have plenty of time, but since I have such high standards for men, it’s been so hard for me to date anymore because it’s hard to tell who’s actually genuine and who’s not.

I’m just trying to not think about it and live my life, and hoping that he will come when I least expect it, but it’s getting tough. I try not to let other people’s timeline affect me (a majority of people I went to school with are either in a relationship, engaged, or married) by now.. anyone have any advice or have stories to share?

You're right on about doing your own thing, regardless of what other people do and/or expect. I've always ZIG'ed when everyone else was ZAG'ing, so I developed a personality and lifestyle (and professional sensibilities) that let me feel great about all my decisions, including things like getting married much older (I couldn't have even fathomed being married before my mid-30s given my goals/needs/wants at the time).

re: the bold

I've known quite a few women who didn't so much have "high standards" as they did very specific needs/wants. I think everyone would agree there's a minimum baseline for someone being a reasonable human being / potential partner, and nobody should just settle. That being said, I know women who have some very difficult expectations that create a really demanding partnership. Two people should "flow", there should be no need to butt heads because she/he wants Y, and X is expected, that should be something that either comes natural or should be re-evaluated if it's really a life goal to have a partner that is/does X.

My wife and I probably unique in that we dig on the same music, activities, entertainment, have the same outlook of life, family, our child, we even mostly have group friends (FWIW, we also work together in our own business).

Stick with the italic, let it happen natural, evaluate the standards vs. expectations as you grow and move through life ... and go with the __flow__

 

[Apple fanboy]

Having a bit of a ‘quarter’ life crisis here. I’m currently 25 years old, turning 26 in April of next year. I’ve been single for quite awhile (6 years already I think) and I haven’t been in a relationship in awhile. I know everyone says I’m still young and have plenty of time, but since I have such high standards for men, it’s been so hard for me to date anymore because it’s hard to tell who’s actually genuine and who’s not.

I’m just trying to not think about it and live my life, and hoping that he will come when I least expect it, but it’s getting tough. I try not to let other people’s timeline affect me (a majority of people I went to school with are either in a relationship, engaged, or married) by now.. anyone have any advice or have stories to share?

For me, when you meat the right one it doesn’t matter what age you are. I have friends who got married (first and only time), in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and even mid 50’s. They are all happy. There is no correct age to have achieved certain criteria.

Just continue to meet people and eventually the right one will turn up.
But never settle.

 

[Huntn]

For me, when you meat the right one it doesn’t matter what age you are. I have friends who got married (first and only time), in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and even mid 50’s. They are all happy. There is no correct age to have achieved certain criteria.

Just continue to meet people and eventually the right one will turn up.
But never settle.

I remember historical movies about women, suffering second class citizen status, or their parents who seem desperate for them to get married or become old maids (a social term). Pride and Prejudice is a good one. Fortunately those days are over, at least I think they are. No need to snag someone, anyone due to time limits.