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- Thread starter Gutwrench
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But back tomorrow. I'll probably do some work from home today anyway. Always stuff to do.
Thought about not going to work today, yet here I am.
The place is deserted at the moment. I expect maybe two other folks to show up; everyone else is on vacation.
In the two-minute drill, as I have basically four days to put the finishing touches on this year’s objectives. Daunting but doable.
Condolences, SS. Losing a parent is tough, no matter the circumstances. And it’s been a long process for you and your mother. Peace.
The place is deserted at the moment. I expect maybe two other folks to show up; everyone else is on vacation.
In the two-minute drill, as I have basically four days to put the finishing touches on this year’s objectives. Daunting but doable.
Condolences, SS. Losing a parent is tough, no matter the circumstances. And it’s been a long process for you and your mother. Peace.
Thank you for your kind words.
It is tough, very tough.
No matter how much you say you have prepared for this day, and no matter that you have accepted (intellectually) the inevitability of this outcome, you are still utterly floored with shock and distress and upset when it happens, irrespective of duration of the condition, their age, or your age.
A parent is a parent - the guide and lodestar of your life - and a mother is irreplaceable.
Yes to all, while a sudden death is bad watching a loved one deteriorate is a heavy burden as it was for you and for my family with my father over several years until he passed this past January. I certainly will cherish my mother now as well as we did my father.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Many Hugs and deepest sympathies from New York.
I am glad she was with you and your brothers and went peacefully.
@Scepticalscribe just catching up with news of your mother's death. You're so right that even with long notice of a parent's impending death, there's no real way of connecting with the emotional impact in advance. My condolences to you all. I am glad at least of her peaceful passing.
Decided to read into humidifiers and air purifiers. We already have a nice filtration system in our central air system, but I wanted something for my home office and possibly the library (not a humidifier!). Honestly wish I hadn't because I've spent the last five hours going back and forth on professional and personal reviews and pros and cons. Yeesh.
Now I remember why all my previous efforts turned out to be fruitless.
Now I remember why all my previous efforts turned out to be fruitless.
Heck I think I need a humidifier in my car! Any time I run the heater for awhile I feel like it dries out my eyes and I have to open a window for comfort, and more than one would usually think to do in winter. I read one's eyes get drier with age so that must be it. Time to stock up on those single-serve eye drops to carry in my handbag I guess.
Despite the reasoning being freely available, bodies tend to defy basic logic. It's safe to assume if your itchy nose and cough go away when you're outside experiencing cool winter air, when winter is supposed to dry you out, something is amiss.
That said, I avoid the heat when possible. I'd rather keep the house in the mid-low 70s and wear layers with a fireplaces or two roaring rather than turning the heat on. The whole house warm feeling makes me queasy.
With that put aside, I'm about 9 hours in of rough research intermixed with YouTube breaks and catching up on shows. By the time I settle on something, winter will be over. I'm not sure how viable humidifiers are, but I do know purifiers do work. Especially for those who suffer from allergies or are sensitive to certain particulates in the air during the year and its various seasons.
Yeah I don't heat my house much either. I leave it around 62 or so day time and cut it down to 55 or so overnight. My rationale for that: the mean temperature around here in the summer time is only 55 at night and I'm sure not running a furnace then, so why would I pay to make it hotter than that in the dead of winter?!
I'm a big fan of wool sweaters and dual-layer cotton with wool thermal unders, so I'm plenty comfy indoors with that and layered outerwear. Anyway if I feel chilly in the house some mornings while making coffee, the best cure is to step out on the deck for a few seconds and check out the feeling of 15ºF, or maybe even -15.
I'm a big fan of wool sweaters and dual-layer cotton with wool thermal unders, so I'm plenty comfy indoors with that and layered outerwear. Anyway if I feel chilly in the house some mornings while making coffee, the best cure is to step out on the deck for a few seconds and check out the feeling of 15ºF, or maybe even -15.
LOL!Beautiful pictures, that owl looks epic among all those branches. I seem to always just miss getting a picture of the Blue Jays around me.
Keep struggling with next computer choice etc. On a moral level
is truly bothering me. And, yet, no matter how hard I try to disintagle myself from them, it is not happening. After almost dying in July, and kaboshing every Windows PC I’ve tried recently, I am finally realizing it is just not worth the unnecessary stress.
I just have ignore their doublespeak etc., and jump in. @Apple fanboy - yes, you can say you told me so!
I’m so sorry I missed this post when you made it. Was traveling to Minnesota.My condolences, I hope you and the family recover quickly. I know you can anticipate, but it’s still very tough when it happens.
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Thank you.
Well, when your mother passes - especially one to whom you were close, and for whom you were responsible - this is primal and visceral.
I don't expect that "recovery" will happen quickly, even though it was clear that the trajectory could only head one way and that the outcome was inevitable.
At the end of the day, your first - and key - relationship is with your mother.
While the end came as no surprise, it was - and is - a considerable shock. One minute someone is alive, albeit gravely - and mortally - ill; the next minute they are not alive at all. This is seismic stuff.
But, while I am saddened - deeply saddened - I am not regretful; we cared for her at home until the very end, and gave her the best possible quality of care, and I am more glad than I can say that we were able to do so.
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My mother died a week ago tonight, at home, with myself and my two brothers in attendance - and I have had the most intense, almost psychedelic, incredibly surreal week of my life in the week subsequent to that.
As for Christmas: Imagine spending Christmas Day doing the traditional thing of preparing dinner - not the traditional one to save on stress and strain - interspersed with writing your Mother's eulogy, and prayers to be read at her service.
This is a time where the predominant emotional flavour is sharply tinged with something bitter sweet, savouring small (and large) kindnesses, meeting and greeting the world with fiercely heightened senses, a time punctuated by severe insomnia, a profound lack of appetite, much laughter and an awful lot of grief.
As for Christmas: Imagine spending Christmas Day doing the traditional thing of preparing dinner - not the traditional one to save on stress and strain - interspersed with writing your Mother's eulogy, and prayers to be read at her service.
This is a time where the predominant emotional flavour is sharply tinged with something bitter sweet, savouring small (and large) kindnesses, meeting and greeting the world with fiercely heightened senses, a time punctuated by severe insomnia, a profound lack of appetite, much laughter and an awful lot of grief.
I was weened on ‘70s tv commercials. Mom and sisters always told me I would make dinner time hilarious because I would quote commercials verbatim for no reason (Pepto Bismo apparently was a big hit. I don’t remember saying “It coats, soothes, and relieves...” but they do).
I remember that Tootsie Pop commercial vividly.
Your owl looks like it would not only eat the Tootsie Pop, but the hand holding it too!
@Scepticalscribe sending you hugs.
I think there is a spectrum of reaction to an event like this, depending on the individual, but all based on sadness, except maybe for unusual cases, and despair for some, for a while. The realization that this is the cycle of life and death, part of the reality of living, not that knowing this makes you feel better, but helps you accept and move on with your life.
I have said that the best way to go is to fall over without warning, a big shock to the family but better for the individual. I realize there maybe disagreement on this point, that there is value in psychological preparation and “being able to say goodbye”, along with a long slow deterioration that the individual must endure as everything is slowly taken from them.
With a drawn out deterioration, there comes time for loved ones to come to terms with the situation and realize it is time for your loved one to move on to the next encounter, whatever that may be. When my wife’s father passed away, she was well prepared for it, and accepted this fact before it happened, yet her sister, years later, still greaves on some level and expresses this quite often. I also remember my Mom, after two of my aunts died on the same day (one of her sisters and a sister in-law) told us frequently she was ready to go. She was not depressed, just a statement of fact. I think this happens for some people, as I myself have not actually said I am ready to go, I still find pleasure, but question my existence, and wonder if there is a choice, would I choose to return to the Earth Simulator? Some of that would depend on the alternatives, and a much larger perspective.
Ironically, I just watched Logan’s Run and contemplated would there be any advantage to dieing at 30? Overall, big picture wise, no, one one chooses death at 30, but a single advantage, while being deprived of a full life, would not having to experience, everything you have in youth, slowly taken away from you. In defense of old age however, it gives a life perspective that may be of benefit for the next cycle, whatever that could be...maybe.
I said this before, but will repeat, that what kills us is aging (said humorously) and if not for the limits of the typical lifespan and physical deterioration that accompanies aging, often frequently with the mind, that I believe human beings were given a long youthful life, with quality of living, would be able to live for 500 years easily and stay interested and happy with living. Based on reality, it is this deterioration, if we are lucky, or unlucky to be aware of it, that helps us realize the time to go is approaching.
My brother and I have been compiling lists of (and also listening to) the the sort of music and songs that my mother liked.
And this is what we are still at, but it has been expanded to ballads, and bitter sweet music that we both like, songs dealing with sorrow, death, sadness, love and life.
We are drinking wine (white Burgundy) and each selecting songs for us both to listen to, including stuff - tunes, and songs - we know our mother loved.
The snow is flying but the house is clean and warm and quiet.
The bird feeders are full but the cardinals aren’t to be found.
Plenty of finches and chickadees though.
There’s leftover crab in the refrigerator so it will likely find it’s way into a bisque. Or maybe not. *yawn*
And finally, I’m mulling over making a weekend trip west. The window is being pretty persuasive.
The bird feeders are full but the cardinals aren’t to be found.
Plenty of finches and chickadees though.
There’s leftover crab in the refrigerator so it will likely find it’s way into a bisque. Or maybe not. *yawn*
And finally, I’m mulling over making a weekend trip west. The window is being pretty persuasive.
Well, this past year, this past fortnight, and our lives (and loves) past and present. And possibly future.
And my mother, obviously.
And my mother, obviously.