What’s on your mind?

[rm5]

Courtesy is a sign of respect (and decency), and not - as some mistakenly seem to think - a sign of weakness.

You can be polite, and show respect, while conveying an order or delivering an instruction.

And I couldn't agree more: Good manners cost nothing.

"Please" and "thank you" are two of the most important expressions in the English language.

Oh, absolutely. The difference between "help me fix my Mac that won't boot" and "Do you mind helping me with an issue with my Mac? It's not booting. Any help greatly appreciated" (or something of the like)—is HUGE!

Or, when asking for something from someone, like "I haven't received your video yet. Do you mind sending it?" vs. "Give me my video!" When in the real world would you EVER say "Give me my video!" to someone?

Anyways, that's what I think about all this.

 

[KaiFiMacFan]

Does anyone else here have a friend or family member who is habitually late for everything?

I'm not going to talk bad about this person, she's a close friend whom I've gone through a lot with, and she's probably the best travel planner I know, but a lot of that means little when she has a serious problem being on time for things. Sometimes it's just a nuisance I can dismiss, but other times it's actually caused genuine problems (like my friends and I being out $100 each because we bought tickets to a show that we didn't get to go to because she was so late for it)

At this point I've dealt with it by just realizing that her time is an hour behind my time, so if she says she's going to be here at 7, I know that really means like 8:15.

 

[avz]

Does anyone else here have a friend or family member who is habitually late for everything?

I'm not going to talk bad about this person, she's a close friend whom I've gone through a lot with, and she's probably the best travel planner I know, but a lot of that means little when she has a serious problem being on time for things. Sometimes it's just a nuisance I can dismiss, but other times it's actually caused genuine problems (like my friends and I being out $100 because we each paid for tickets to a show that we didn't get to go to because she was so late for it and she was our ride...)

At this point I've dealt with it by just realizing that her time is an hour behind my time, so if she says she's going to be here at 7, I know that really means like 8:15.

While you can't choose your family members you should be able to pick your friends.

 

[KaiFiMacFan]

She's my best friend's girlfriend, so in a way I didn't choose her 😅 In either case, there are reasons I'm still friends with her, and all my friends have things about them I don't like that I put up with (and the reverse is also true of course), this one is just a bit more troublesome than the others sometimes, since I really value being on time.

 

[yaxomoxay]

Actually, when the internet was in its infancy and adolescence, there was indeed "Netiquette" -- actual rules and guidelines; unfortunately they have disappeared as time has gone on, and some of them are no longer as relevant as they were back in the days of dialup connections and limited bandwidth.

I remember the netiquette. A much needed document.

 

[Expos of 1969]

Does anyone else here have a friend or family member who is habitually late for everything?

I'm not going to talk bad about this person, she's a close friend whom I've gone through a lot with, and she's probably the best travel planner I know, but a lot of that means little when she has a serious problem being on time for things. Sometimes it's just a nuisance I can dismiss, but other times it's actually caused genuine problems (like my friends and I being out $100 each because we bought tickets to a show that we didn't get to go to because she was so late for it)

At this point I've dealt with it by just realizing that her time is an hour behind my time, so if she says she's going to be here at 7, I know that really means like 8:15.

The mistake many make when dealing with a person like her is they enable the behaviour by accommodating her lateness. Forget that approach. It lets her problem become your problem. Start acting on your schedule. If you tell her to be at your place at 10 as that is when you both must depart to get to your destination on time, leave your place at 10, whether she is there or not. These people need tough love and consequences for their disrespectful behaviour.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Does anyone else here have a friend or family member who is habitually late for everything?

I'm not going to talk bad about this person, she's a close friend whom I've gone through a lot with, and she's probably the best travel planner I know, but a lot of that means little when she has a serious problem being on time for things. Sometimes it's just a nuisance I can dismiss, but other times it's actually caused genuine problems (like my friends and I being out $100 each because we bought tickets to a show that we didn't get to go to because she was so late for it)

At this point I've dealt with it by just realizing that her time is an hour behind my time, so if she says she's going to be here at 7, I know that really means like 8:15.

Sometimes, people are late because they are disorganised, or, they may be rebelling (consciously or sub-consciously) against controls, rebelling in a way that may be socially acceptable.

Or, they may have had difficulty in setting boundaries - in saying "no" to friends and family - (as in, "no, thanks for inviting me to this, but I'm not sure that I will be free to, able to, in a position to, attend"), and so, end up trying to satisfy too many people, and do too many things, for which there is not enough time.

Or, their lives may be stressed, with many competing responsibilities for their (limited) time..

In stressed lives, (and in stresssed conflict torn countries) time may be the one thing that may give way, that may be flexible in someone's life.

In my experience, countries where infrastructure and institutions are weak, (or threatened) plans always run late, because time is the one thing that can give way while still staving off collapse. (In that case, first world interlocutors and donors may need to learn to adjust time tables; it is not always possible to replicate first world timetables).

Sometimes, however, especially in the first world, one may need to learn that actions have consequences, and, that if you are late, this, too, can come complete with consequences.

A question: Why didn't you go ahead and attend the concert without her?

 

[KaiFiMacFan]

I hadn't thought of it that way, especially the part about being flexible about time (she is not flexible about many other things, time seems to be her exception).

We didn't attend because of a complex arrangement we made so that we would only get there if we were all together on time. Poor planning on our part, but we also didn't know we wouldn't be allowed to get in late (we arrived and they turned us away). If we had been earlier, it would've worked out. (That was the one time it went too far, even for her, and she offered to pay me back for my ticket. I ultimately said no, but that was kind of a "never again" moment).

 

[Scepticalscribe]

I hadn't thought of it that way, especially the part about being flexible about time (she is not flexible about many other things, time seems to be her exception).

We didn't attend because of a complex arrangement we made so that we would only get there if we were all together on time. Poor planning on our part, but we also didn't know we wouldn't be allowed to get in late (we arrived and they turned us away). If we had been earlier, it would've worked out. (That was the one time it went too far, even for her, and she offered to pay me back for my ticket. I ultimately said no, but that was kind of a "never again" moment).

Plan without her in the future.

Mind you, in my experience, those sort of complex arrangements are always far too complicated, and never work out as something always goes wrong, or somethig unexpected always happens.

My suggestion (for the future) would be to break the larger group into smaller groups, and travel with a smaller group - so that you are not dependant on one person's punctuality - and arrange to meet up together when already in - or, even after - the concert.

Being "flexible" about time is one way of seeking to exert control over a life where being able to exert such control may be absent in other areas.

 

[Macky-Mac]

Actually, when the internet was in its infancy and adolescence, there was indeed "Netiquette" -- actual rules and guidelines; unfortunately they have disappeared as time has gone on, and some of them are no longer as relevant as they were back in the days of dialup connections and limited bandwidth.

it's still quite easy to find these "Netiquette" rules......I did a quick google search and found numerous lists.

 

[compwiz1202]

Those individuals are why most forums have an ignore button. Makes the online world a more pleasant place when you filter out the idiots and trolls!
I prefer talking and reading what like minded (or at the very least polite people!) have to say.
Good manners cost nothing. That’s as true online as it is in the real world.

I wish that when you ignored users here, it wouldn't even show they posted and the response. Just the responses to them can be annoying, even if I can't see their part.

 

[compwiz1202]

The one issue about rules that I've said forever is people with manners and sense won't need rules, and the inconsiderate ones will just scoff at them anyhow.

 

[Lioness~]

I wish that when you ignored users here, it wouldn't even show they posted and the response. Just the responses to them can be annoying, even if I can't see their part.

If anything is annoying to you after you blocked people, when you don't see what they say, it's your thing if you get tempted to click and check what they have been writing.
I get what you are talking about, I would rather have more choices in general.
But I am quite detached to rubbish online in general today. Meditation have changes a few things quite profoundly in my life and online.

The ego, that loves to rant crap, craves constant attention, and being annoying to people, isn't even real. That's why it need all that attention. Of course, they don't even know that. They think they are the ego, poor things.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

The one issue about rules that I've said forever is people with manners and sense won't need rules, and the inconsiderate ones will just scoff at them anyhow.

Yes, but if, through their lack of consideration, they violate rules (actual rules, as well as rules of conduct or behaviour) and these violations are punished - by authorities, moderators, for example, for actual violations, or by being ignored (for shunning is considered a punishment in a number of cultures), - then, such a display of ill manners is not without consequence to the person who lacks courtesy - or, chooses to lack or consideration for others.

 

[yaxomoxay]

I made some simple Bucatini pasta all’amatriciana. 1.5lbs of pasta. 4 people. All gone.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

I made some simple Bucatini pasta all’amatriciana. 1.5lbs of pasta. 4 people. All gone.

Pasta All'Amatriciana?

Wonderful; since my discovery of guanciale, this has beocme one of my personal favourites, and shall feature on the menu, chateau moi, some evening soon.

Any tweaks - or hints, or suggestions - that you might care to share?

Have you come across Pasta Alla Zozzona?

I watched a recipe (Vincenzo's plate, which has guided me when preparing both Pasta Carbonara and Pasta All'Amartriciana).

 

[yaxomoxay]

Pasta All'Amatriciana?

Wonderful; since my discovery of guanciale, this has beocme one of my personal favourites, and shall feature on the menu, chateau moi, some evening soon.

Any tweaks - or hints, or suggestions - that you might care to share?

Not really to be honest. It’s so simple!

Have you come across Pasta Alla Zozzona?

I don’t think I ever did… what a name ahahahah. After a brief search on google, I have to try it.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Not really to be honest. It’s so simple!

I don’t think I ever did… what a name ahahahah. After a brief search on google, I have to try it.

A kind of melding of Carbonara and Amatriciana, with Italian sausage, as well as guanciale.

What is there not to like?

I had never heard of it, but watched, rapt and greedy.

Once I source some Italian sausage, I may well try this sometime over the coming week.

 

[DaveFromCampbelltown]

and

I forgot this little guy...

It's called a Western Pygmy Possum

 

[decafjava]

Always amazed at how some people get offended at options they don't have to use.

 

[ericwn]

A long weekend ahead and hope to get a chance to put a new top on my standing desk, part of my home office renovation.

 

[decafjava]

A long weekend ahead and hope to get a chance to put a new top on my standing desk, part of my home office renovation.

Interesting, how long have you used a standing desk? A friend started using it years ago when he was at the UN and really appreciated it. Not sure how I would adapt to it.

 

[smoking monkey]

Sometimes, people are late because they are disorganised, or, they may be rebelling (consciously or sub-consciously) against controls, rebelling in a way that may be socially acceptable (which is something you will find women, and people of colour, perhaps, reaching for, as a way of asserting themselves without consequence).

This is the 2nd time you've made this claim. What are you basing this on? My curiosity is well and truly piqued now.

As for what else is on my mind, I just won a 100 bucks on a 51-1 multi. Unfortunately I only bet 2 bucks on it. I'd usually throw a fiver on a three way multi at 51-1 as well because it's quite rare to get odds like that for a bet that is highly possible.

Remember kids, gamble responsibly.

 

[ericwn]

Interesting, how long have you used a standing desk? A friend started using it years ago when he was at the UN and really appreciated it. Not sure how I would adapt to it.

I have used mine now for about a year. I had a good bunch of health issues to deal with and a doctor recommended to try a standing desk. I was pretty sceptical but decided to get myself a standing desk frame and put a cheap IKEA desktop on top of that to give it a try. It felt a bit tiring in the first few days, and I tried to have the occasional sitting break, but after a bit I have now totally fallen in love with the ability to stand when working. Many days the desk remains in that position.
What helps me is one of these thicker anti-fatigue rubber mattes that you can get in office supply stores very often. I think as humans we are super adaptable when we want to, hence I recommend to give it a try for at least 2 weeks to see how it goes. Happy to answer any additional questions you might have, just ping me!

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Books (visited the library today), bills (paid a few), beer (must order some), buses (so tardy, it went beyond inconvenience into sheer hilarity), and, ah, milk.