What’s on your mind?

[diggy33]

Not yellow jackets, but their paper nest building cousins, the bald face hornet. Learned as a kid that they can track where a BB came from a good distance away.

As for the last time I got popped by a yellow jacket, they had built a nest in my wife's raised flower bed. Went to pull some dead flowers out and my hand got lit up. I ran and one followed me and when I turned around thinking I was far enough away, he got me square on the tip of my nose. Then to ad insult to injury, when I was at the sink running cold water on my hand, one had gotten up under my shirt and popped me in my lower back. Hate them.

Why do these things even exist?

At least you got popped on accident. Me? Oh my genius child self decided to mess with a yellow jacket nest that they had created in the ground. What I didnt realize is there was a second entrance, and those things lit me up like you wouldnt believe. My mom was in the living room and she heard me yelling and running down the hill to the building, and those things followed and tore me up the whole way. Lesson learned - dont mess with yellow jackets! I steer clear to this day, and that happened probably 40 years ago

 

[Populus]

I begin to hate autocorrect lately! It has been getting words all the time! I meant to say seller!

I few you brought

 

[sgtaylor5]

Always creeped the wife out that you put meat in them as bait. Always preferred to set their nest on fire, but in the last few years I just dump some Sevin on their holes at night. They crawl through it and die.

Yellowjacket traps in this area are a central slotted cone with a hole in the top covered by a clear plastic shield on the bottom is a screw on base inside of which you place a bait which in cotton laced with a attractant chemical blend.

The yellow jackets enter through slots in the base, travel up the slotted cone through the hole in the top, and then they can’t find their way out and die.

 

[Populus]

Okay, what’s on my mind in this hot night (not in a good way, it’s 2AM and I’m sweating in bead without the fun, I mean the fan)?

Well, months ago I wrote in this thread, kinda enthusiastically, that I had been talking to a couple of university classmates. Two friendly girls that sat next to me and eventually broke the communication barrier, something I usually struggle with.

But it didn’t go further, as it usually happens, than just a few more chats in some breaks. Then the exams came, and despite me trying to have a bit more conversation through messages when they concluded… I didn’t feel the other end conversationally engaged so I left it there.

On this hot night, being impossible to sleep, I’m thinking that despite my courage at interacting with my classmates in past years, I’m not achieving anything new. I’m not making deep connections, meeting people to hang with some weekends, someone to share my challenges and struggles… just superficial elevator conversations and maybe some complaints about subjects and teachers.

Maybe… Maybe I’m not authentic enough? But I need to actively think about what I’m about to say, and that takes time, and takes away spontaneity. Or maybe it is the fact that I don’t use social media, IDK

I will try my best next year, again, but my focus will be on the subjects, not in my social development.

 

[rm5]

Just had an amazing (and VERY high-energy) gig tonight--all jazz with a bassist and drummer--possibly the best in town. An audience member videotaped me, and I never realized (until watching it) how amazing my CP88 keyboard sounds through front-of-house speakers! I mean, it is a stage piano, so it's built for such occasions, but I was seriously impressed with how it sounded! I need to be an audience member with someone else playing my keyboard now. Anyway, it was a fun night!

 

[rm5]

Okay, what’s on my mind in this hot night (not in a good way, it’s 2AM and I’m sweating in bead without the fun, I mean the fan)?

Well, months ago I wrote in this thread, kinda enthusiastically, that I had been talking to a couple of university classmates. Two friendly girls that sat next to me and eventually broke the communication barrier, something I usually struggle with.

But it didn’t go further, as it usually happens, than just a few more chats in some breaks. Then the exams came, and despite me trying to have a bit more conversation through messages when they concluded… I didn’t feel the other end conversationally engaged so I left it there.

On this hot night, being impossible to sleep, I’m thinking that despite my courage at interacting with my classmates in past years, I’m not achieving anything new. I’m not making deep connections, meeting people to hang with some weekends, someone to share my challenges and struggles… just superficial elevator conversations and maybe some complaints about subjects and teachers.

Maybe… Maybe I’m not authentic enough? But I need to actively think about what I’m about to say, and that takes time, and takes away spontaneity. Or maybe it is the fact that I don’t use social media, IDK

I will try my best next year, again, but my focus will be on the subjects, not in my social development.

SAME!!!! No, actually!

It's funny you bring this up, because I have been struggling with the same thing lately. Wish I could have actual friends rather than mere acquaintances I talk to for 30 seconds. A lot of times, even those relationships are fraught because although I care deeply about what the other person has to say, they don't care what I have to say. Or maybe they do, but it sure doesn't look like it--it looks like they have more important things to do, like meeting their real friends.

And I can say you not using social media is NOT AT ALL why. In fact, using social media just makes the problem worse. I hate to admit, but the only people I talk to for more than 30 seconds (an exaggeration, but you get my point) are on Discord. I like talking to people (in text and voice) on Discord, but it's also really lame--it's not a proper human interaction. Wish that sort of thing could happen in real life. That's what I really want. At some point, who gives a **** about people on an online platform... I can ALMOST GUARANTEE to you that if those people met me in real life, no way in hell they'd want to talk to me.

I've realized recently that I often feel like the "guy at the end of the table," with nothing to say and no social skills. It sucks. I will also admit that I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable sitting at the lunch table with 20 other people. Just intense social anxiety, probably.

I know this defeats the purpose of both our desires, but if you ever need someone to talk to, you've got me!

 

[DaveFromCampbelltown]

I begin to hate autocorrect lately! It has been getting words all the time! I meant to say seller!

D@mmit! I had this concept of a large fish, smartly dressed in suit 'n' tie, selling surgical equipment.

 

[Populus]

SAME!!!! No, actually!

It's funny you bring this up, because I have been struggling with the same thing lately. Wish I could have actual friends rather than mere acquaintances I talk to for 30 seconds. A lot of times, even those relationships are fraught because although I care deeply about what the other person has to say, they don't care what I have to say. Or maybe they do, but it sure doesn't look like it--it looks like they have more important things to do, like meeting their real friends.

And I can say you not using social media is NOT AT ALL why. In fact, using social media just makes the problem worse. I hate to admit, but the only people I talk to for more than 30 seconds (an exaggeration, but you get my point) are on Discord. I like talking to people (in text and voice) on Discord, but it's also really lame--it's not a proper human interaction. Wish that sort of thing could happen in real life. That's what I really want. At some point, who gives a **** about people on an online platform... I can ALMOST GUARANTEE to you that if those people met me in real life, no way in hell they'd want to talk to me.

I've realized recently that I often feel like the "guy at the end of the table," with nothing to say and no social skills. It sucks. I will also admit that I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable sitting at the lunch table with 20 other people. Just intense social anxiety, probably.

I know this defeats the purpose of both our desires, but if you ever need someone to talk to, you've got me!

Thanks for your reply. I’ve been using Discord a lot as well, but decided to ditch it completely because: 1) it was eating a lot of my time, 2) I found myself oversharing about personal stuff and 3) I learned that it is the worst app to share personal information because of its non-existent security and privacy.

I’ve grown to appreciate MacRumors not only as a tech forum but also as a great community where I can socialize a bit, even if not at a deep level.

By the way, you don’t need to dissect your personality here but, why do you think those people wouldn’t like to talk to you in real life? Maybe you have self esteem issues?

 

[rm5]

Thanks for your reply. I’ve been using Discord a lot as well, but decided to ditch it completely because: 1) it was eating a lot of my time, 2) I found myself oversharing about personal stuff and 3) I learned that it is the worst app to share personal information because of its non-existent security and privacy.

I’ve grown to appreciate MacRumors not only as a tech forum but also as a great community where I can socialize a bit, even if not at a deep level.

By the way, you don’t need to dissect your personality here but, why do you think those people wouldn’t like to talk to you in real life? Maybe you have self esteem issues?

Yeah, no problem! I stay confined to just a few Discord servers with honest people. I know that doesn't solve the security problem, but it actually helps a lot. I've just been extremely lucky with the servers I've joined, I think. I've grown quite close with everyone. Of course, there are still ups and downs (notably when I was verbally harassed in February), but overall, it's a nice experience.

I've found that the issues people have here on MacRumors nowadays are so complex that I feel as if I can't help at all. That's why I've been confined to the Community section lately. Plus, it's just a lot more calm in my opinion. No heated arguments in this thread (I hope)!

Addressing your third point: I think it's a combination of several things. Not to make this all about me, but since you asked, I'll answer. First, I am just extremely shy by nature. Second, there are certain things that I feel like deters people from talking to me. I have a stutter (which was much worse when I was younger, but it's still there). Often (as is the case with me), a person with a speech impairment displays certain outward behaviors when they talk. I either clench my fists really tight or do this weird thing with my hands I can't describe, or fidgeting. Not to mention my facial expression when talking, which is... something. So that's partially to blame, I think. I had vision problems as a child, but that's mostly better. But me being neurodivergent ain't ever changing. And other long-term health problems that aren't worth touching.

Anyway, hope that answers your questions!

 

[Apple fanboy]

Yeah, no problem! I stay confined to just a few Discord servers with honest people. I know that doesn't solve the security problem, but it actually helps a lot. I've just been extremely lucky with the servers I've joined, I think. I've grown quite close with everyone. Of course, there are still ups and downs (notably when I was verbally harassed in February), but overall, it's a nice experience.

I've found that the issues people have here on MacRumors nowadays are so complex that I feel as if I can't help at all. That's why I've been confined to the Community section lately. Plus, it's just a lot more calm in my opinion. No heated arguments in this thread (I hope)!

Addressing your third point: I think it's a combination of several things. Not to make this all about me, but since you asked, I'll answer. First, I am just extremely shy by nature. Second, there are certain things that I feel like deters people from talking to me. I have a stutter (which was much worse when I was younger, but it's still there). Often (as is the case with me), a person with a speech impairment displays certain outward behaviors when they talk. I either clench my fists really tight or do this weird thing with my hands I can't describe. Not to mention my facial expression, which is... something. So that's partially to blame, I think. There are other things that I really am not comfortable talking about. Honestly, I'm not comfortable talking about my speech either, but I went ahead with it because I wanted to at least give you an answer.

Anyway, hope that answers your questions!

A lot of what you describe is to do with your age. Honestly I don’t analysis what I say and how I act a fraction of what you do.
People either like me or don’t. If they don’t, that’s their problem not mine.

When I was younger being more popular of part of a social group was important to me. These days I’m much happier at home with Mrs AFB.
I go out socially very rarely these days and have a less than a handful of friends.
That’s plenty.

 

[Populus]

A lot of what you describe is to do with your age. Honestly I don’t analysis what I say and how I act a fraction of what you do.
People either like me or don’t. If they don’t, that’s their problem not mine.

When I was younger being more popular of part of a social group was important to me. These days I’m much happier at home with Mrs AFB.
I go out socially very rarely these days and have a less than a handful of friends.
That’s plenty.

Yes, that’s because you already have a partner. And to meet her, you probably had to go through the stages we struggle with.

And it is not necessarily an age thing. I’m a millennial and I struggled a lot to have friends. Having no friends to hang out with means you’re missing on the opportunity to meet that special one, your significant one, or however you want to call it. Luckily I still have a young appearance, but still struggle to get into social circles. Meanwhile people my age are either happily married and having kids (not my thing), or they are satisfied with their jobs taking that place.

Of course if I had a partner to share my life, my struggles, my passion, my kinks or some fun trips with, I could care less about finding meaningful friendships and such. But it is not my case and, I suspect, not OPs either.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Yes, that’s because you already have a partner. And to meet her, you probably had to go through the stages we struggle with.

And it is not necessarily an age thing. I’m a millennial and I struggled a lot to have friends. Having no friends to hang out with means you’re missing on the opportunity to meet that special one, your significant one, or however you want to call it. Luckily I still have a young appearance, but still struggle to get into social circles. Meanwhile people my age are either happily married and having kids (not my thing), or they are satisfied with their jobs taking that place.

Of course if I had a partner to share my life, my struggles, my passion, my kinks or some fun trips with, I could care less about finding meaningful friendships and such. But it is not my case and, I suspect, not OPs either.

Indeed I understand that element. I was fortunate that I met my wife when I was probably younger than you are now.

But I think as you get older you tend to be less concerned about what others think of you. Either online or in the real world.

I’m not on any social media accept MR. Never had any interest in FB or X so never joined. To develop friendships in real life I’d suggest people spend less time on them.

 

[Mitthrawnuruodo]

D@mmit! I had this concept of a large fish, smartly dressed in suit 'n' tie, selling surgical equipment.

I read it out load in my worst Jamaican accent, as the "Sal(e) Mon"

 

[Scepticalscribe]

A lot of what you describe is to do with your age. Honestly I don’t analysis what I say and how I act a fraction of what you do.
People either like me or don’t. If they don’t, that’s their problem not mine.

When I was younger being more popular of part of a social group was important to me. These days I’m much happier at home with Mrs AFB.
I go out socially very rarely these days and have a less than a handful of friends.
That’s plenty.

Indeed I understand that element. I was fortunate that I met my wife when I was probably younger than you are now.

But I think as you get older you tend to be less concerned about what others think of you. Either online or in the real world.

I’m not on any social media accept MR. Never had any interest in FB or X so never joined. To develop friendships in real life I’d suggest people spend less time on them.

Agreed.

To my mind, this is on account of age and - as a consequence of age, also "life", in other words, lived experiences, maturity, self-knowledge and self-acceptance.

Actually, it is one of the greatest advantages of maturity - that one (well, this was most certainly the case for me) tend to feel (or come to have felt) much more comfortable "in their skin" as one ages and matures, leaving that awful, awkward, agonising, - actually, excruciating self-consciousness (and self-absorption) of adolescence (which lingers until your early to mid twenties) far behind, a ghastly series of memories best viewed with the comfort of both distance and the perfect vision of the psychological rear view mirror.

 

[Populus]

But I think as you get older you tend to be less concerned about what others think of you. Either online or in the real world.

Yeah, on this, I agree with you. Caring less and less has helped me open myself more than when I was younger. Maybe nowadays I’m too open, if that makes sense? But it’s still a challenge for me. A challenge I haven’t given up with, because as I usually say, right now I’m on a better personal position to get to know people and enjoy life, despite my age number. And that’s precisely because, with age, I am learning to come to terms that not everyone will like me, same way as I can’t stand certain types of people and that is okay.

Sometimes I feel like I’m learning now what people usually learn on their 20s

 

[Apple fanboy]

Yeah, on this, I agree with you. Caring less and less has helped me open myself more than when I was younger. Maybe nowadays I’m too open, if that makes sense? But it’s still a challenge for me. A challenge I haven’t given up with, because as I usually say, right now I’m on a better personal position to get to know people and enjoy life, despite my age number. And that’s precisely because, with age, I am learning to come to terms that not everyone will like me, same way as I can’t stand certain types of people and that is okay.

Sometimes I feel like I’m learning now what people usually learn on their 20s

Maybe experience rather than age would be the right term. Unlike most on here, I left full time education and started work at 15. By 18 I had left home. So my experience was different from many in their early 20’s even.
Where at school being popular is all some people think about, by the time you start work there are different priorities.
I was supervising other people from 16 and that also affects your relationships in the work place.

Friendships and romance tend to happen when we least expect it. I didn’t expect to find my soulmate, best friend and wife when I headed to Atlanta that summer.

Try to join groups where you have common interests in the real world. Then don’t try to hard. I knew a guy once who was desperate to get married. I think all his girlfriends worked that out and as such ran a mile.

 

[Populus]

Try to join groups where you have common interests in the real world. Then don’t try to hard. I knew a guy once who was desperate to get married. I think all his girlfriends worked that out and as such ran a mile.

No doubt they ran lol! I would too if I see a girl is rushing towards that sole goal of getting married within a year and start having kids. Believe me, it would be me who would run.

I like things at slow pace. But I think being so “slow paced” has played against my odds. I don’t want to get into details but I think the world nowadays goes too fast for me.

By the way, that’s the plan: I’m on my way to join a group with special interest in psychology and mental health (no, it’s not a cult), and on the other hand, I want to see if I can help in some rescued cat shelter.

 

[rm5]

By the way, that’s the plan: I’m on my way to join a group with special interest in psychology and mental health (no, it’s not a cult), and on the other hand, I want to see if I can help in some rescued cat shelter.

There you go!! That sounds like an excellent idea!

 

[Apple fanboy]

On my mind is the three car pile up I was right behind on the M5 this morning on my way to work. I managed to avoid the cars (I had to guess which way to go to avoid the spinning cars at 60 mph) and the car parts flying around me.

Should make for some interesting dashcam viewing tonight.

 

[The-Real-Deal82]

On my mind is the three car pile up I was right behind on the M5 this morning on my way to work. I managed to avoid the cars (I had to guess which way to go to avoid the spinning cars at 60 mph) and the car parts flying around me.

Should make for some interesting dashcam viewing tonight.

I'd love to see that! I've been in that situation before where an enormous accident just happens in front of me and somehow I just manage to avoid everything. Quite a shocker when it happens.

 

[jedimasterkyle]

Annoyed that my student loans and I are getting jerked around AGAIN

 

[Scepticalscribe]

On my mind is the three car pile up I was right behind on the M5 this morning on my way to work. I managed to avoid the cars (I had to guess which way to go to avoid the spinning cars at 60 mph) and the car parts flying around me.

Should make for some interesting dashcam viewing tonight.

I'd love to see that! I've been in that situation before where an enormous accident just happens in front of me and somehow I just manage to avoid everything. Quite a shocker when it happens.

Ouch.

Very unpleasant, and always a tart reminder of just how random and unexpected life can be.

Fortunately, anytime that has happened to me, - or, I have witnessed such an event - I have either been in a car driven by somebody else, (when working abroad), or, was travelling in a bus, and thus, managed to avoid the aforementioned accident.

 

[Populus]

On my mind is the three car pile up I was right behind on the M5 this morning on my way to work. I managed to avoid the cars (I had to guess which way to go to avoid the spinning cars at 60 mph) and the car parts flying around me.

I'd love to see that! I've been in that situation before where an enormous accident just happens in front of me and somehow I just manage to avoid everything. Quite a shocker when it happens.

I wonder if during such situations you experience some sort of time dilation… I sometimes feel like time slows down a bit when I’m acting out of reflex. You know, like bullet-time.

 

[Clix Pix]

On my mind is the three car pile up I was right behind on the M5 this morning on my way to work. I managed to avoid the cars (I had to guess which way to go to avoid the spinning cars at 60 mph) and the car parts flying around me.

Should make for some interesting dashcam viewing tonight.

WOW!!!! Whew, I am glad you are OK and that your car is as well -- bet that took some skillful and careful driving trying to avoid all the debris flying around and the actual spinning vehicles. WHEW -- that's scary!!! I would've had to eventually pull over somewhere and calm down before being able to drive on any further. I hope no one in the three vehicles was seriously injured, but I wouldn't be surprised if all of them were.

 

[Herdfan]

Actually, it is one of the greatest advantages of maturity - that one (well, this was most certainly the case for me) tend to feel (or come to have felt) much more comfortable "in their skin" as one ages and matures, leaving that awful, awkward, agonising, - actually, excruciating self-consciousness (and self-absorption) of adolescence (which lingers until your early to mid twenties) far behind, a ghastly series of memories best viewed with the comfort of both distance and the perfect vision of the psychological rear view mirror.

If we could just convince teens that what happens in HS will mean so very little once you get past 30.