Android independent choices vs iOS design delegation
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The philosophies behind Apple and Android users is a bit like hiring a designer for a website.
1. You can either tell him to give you all the tools so you can make finer design choices and changes yourself and manage and sustain them in the long run. Because you want finer control, because you have some expertise and savvy, and maybe because you also enjoy it. You just need the designer to set you up with the foundation and tools. This is what you're advocating which is totally fine. For this thinking Android is perfect.
2. The other way is to hire a good designer who's design style and track record you like and tell him you just want a clean, consistent and well designed website in his style you and others can use and enjoy. It's up to them how and what in terms of finer details as you don't want that hassle or choice. Maybe because you don't have the expertise yourself or just don't like fiddling with the micro choices. You would rather pay him to do it all for you and you trust his design choices based on his record. In the end, you're happy to go with what he generally recommends. You're paying him exactly for this. For this thinking, Apple is perfect.
If person 2 no longer likes this web designer's style and choice, he needs to hire web designer 1. In our context, it means he needs to switch platforms away from Apple to something like Android.
Point is, some will see choice in number 1 above as a positive while others will be happy to pay for the lack of choice and instead delegate design to someone else as in number 2. That's just the way it is and misunderstanding this is the reason for a lot of confusion between users of different platforms.
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It's not that Apple users don't find the features you mentioned up there cool. It's that Apple users won't adopt them, bother with them or use them unless it's done right. And usually, that means when it's designed for them by Apple in the ways we trust and admire from Apple, which is what we pay Apple for, so we don't have to worry or fiddle.
Eg quick reply, do not disturb, notification centre, etc.