I been trying to get in with Apple since June 2013. I believe that I am doing everything correct on my application. Also being that I have done the AHA position through a third-party company for the past 6 months, I thought that would help. With this being said, can you please go over my cover letter and sincerely tell me what you guys think? I think its short and straight to the point. Does it need more to get attention? Please let me know. Thanks...
My name is NAME and I am looking to apply for the above mentioned position(s) posted on the Apple job board. Working for Kelly Services as an At-Home Apple Advisor has provided me with the related experience. I am an empathetic, professional, and self-motivated employee; that is looking forward to assist Apple customers and work associates. My work ethic and good attitude; which I can bring to the table, will let me operate smoothly with the rest of the team members. My style of work enables me to work with little supervision and get the job done efficiently and in a timely manner. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience so that I may further discuss my job experience and present my credentials. I can be reached at or at .
Sincerly;
My name
I would change it up a bit to reflect more personality and enthusiasm. Apple wants you to REALLY want to be part of the team, and to be excited.
Maybe try something like this:
Hi Apple, my name is NAME and I want to join the Apple team as an Apple At Home Advisor. I have been working for Kelly Services as an At-Home Apple Advisor and it has provided me with the related experience, but I want to join the Apple Team.
(why do you want to join up with Apple? even though you are technically working for Kelly, you are getting the job done for them already, why Apple? Why would Apple want you? Sell yourself here) I am love helping people, am professional, and am a self-motivated employee. I will bring my great work ethic and awesome attitude to work everyday. I work really well with little supervision and always get the job done efficiently and in a timely manner. I look forward to hearing from you soon and am so excited to join the Apple team. I can be reached at or at .
Just a suggestion. Don't be afraid to be personal (while still professional) and really show them that you want to join THEM.