Apple To Hold Press Conference on iPhone 4 This Friday.

[MICHAELSD]

I know exactly how the press conference will go:

Welcome everybody. We have some exciting announcements to make today. The iPhone 4 has been Apple's fastest-selling product ever. We've sold over two million and customers love them. We're still trying to meet the incredible demand.

There have been some reports of reception problems with the iPhone 4. For users who have had these problems, we're releasing a new, free app available immediately called iReception. It will give you the impression that you have five bars even if you're holding the iPhone. Applause. A software update will fix the way reception is displayed, which was available as a developer beta on Wednesday.

We know that the Bumper case is important to an iPhone 4 user's call and 3G experience. That's why we're adding a red Bumper and all colors will be available in Apple Stores nationwide beginning tomorrow. The pricing will be adjusted to $69 to keep up with supply and demand principles.

Its so great to get all of the "BS PR" out of the way. (Huge applause and laughter) Finally, here it is. The new white iPhone 4. Other than the new white color scheme replacing the black, it remains the exact-same amazing phone that the black iPhone 4 is. This will be available Tuesday. Have a great day and enjoy your iPhone 4, Apple's best product to date!

 

[Moonlight]

I thought they were just going to blame it on Canada!

"The iPhones gone wrong since canada came along..."

 

[hcho3]

Software update and ... drumroll please .... free bumpers for everyone!!!

This sounds great, but what about those of us who already bought one? If I was apple, I wouldn't just give out free bumpers because people will just return the ones they have bought. We don't need two bumpers now, do we? They will probably issue store credit. I mean... they better.

 

[Roessnakhan]

No matter what's said, it's a reaction. Apple is out of it's element at this point. Their credibility in shambles, they will be hard pressed to accomplish anything of value. Turn out the lights, the party is over.

Sensationalize much? I have been really critical of Apple over this whole iPhone 4 thing, but to think they're KO'ed is just foolish.

 

[daneoni]

Oooooohh...i can't wait to see/hear what they spew now.

*enters friday into iCal as Apple speaketh day*

If it is a free bumper (likely and doesn't fix the issue in some cases) or store credit (yay! spend more money on us for screwing up) i'd be resoundingly bored/underwhelmed

 

[Randman]

They will talk about what a great launch iphone 4 was. They have sold well over 2.5-3 million units now. They are going to continue with rollout with international countries like China, South korea and other parts of Europe.
They will talk about very small users have complained about iphone 4. Apple will allow people to return the product with no restocking fees. Also, apple will most likely issue 30-50 dollars apple store gift card. Since many people have already bought bumpers, they cannot just issue free ones. People will just return every single cases they have bought.
They will talk about white iphone and future software update for ipad.
Steve will probably criticize how unreliable consumer report is.

This.

 

[ziggyonice]

 

[RoboCop001]

Steve: Thank you all for coming. Now we've been getting a lot of great feedback about iPhone 4, and we absolutely LOVE your feedback. Here's a quote from Walberg:

[walberg video]
"Walberg: wtf, where is my signal"

Haha, what Wally is actually trying to say is "Where is my bumper?"

Now let's take a look at the bumper sales.... amazing. 3 billion bumpers sold.
Now, hold on a sec!

Why do we call them "bumpers"?

Well, I'll turn the floor over to my BFF Ive.

Ive: Thanks Steve, you're my BFF.
We called it the bumper because ... we wanted to take something... and BUMP it up... so that it became more spectacular. What did we want to bump up? The signal. We wanted to create a signal so incredibly average that no one would expect it.

We took a look at regular iPhone 4, and thought "Hey, you know, these signal is below average when I touch it here. Let's blow their minds and make it a beautifully average signal." And I was sleeping one night, I was kind of having a nightmare, you see, I woke up and.... I screamed BUMPER... and I have a baby monitor in my room you see, the other end of which is in Steve's bedroom, you know so we can keep tabs on eachother's genius dreams.

Anyway my horrible screams woke him up, and he loved it.

Steve: I'm happy to announce that the iPhone 4 will now come with built in bumper, but one more thing ..... FREE CANDY FOR ALL AT THE BACK ok thank you all for coming.

 

[intervenient]

It's going to be something pretty big to have a scheduled conference. The balls on their court for a recall, and I think they're going to be responsible and take it. If not, the Samsung Captivate is looking very appetizing.

 

[QCassidy352]

Also, apple will most likely issue 30-50 dollars apple store gift card.

This is one thing that absolutely will not happen. 0%. It makes no sense. The people who are mad about this issue are mad because of a defect, not because they don't have the $30 to spend on a case. The media reporting on this are reporting on it because of a defect and would still be reporting the same thing if it came with a case or if it were $30 cheaper. The money involved is not the issue and never has been.

 

[-aggie-]

"The iPhones gone wrong since canada came along..."

We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming us!

 

[Caolan96]

My prediction :

1) Were sorry about the inconvenience caused by the antenna issues, but our software fix will solve 90% of these problems (yeah sure), but for the other 10%, we will replace the phone and give you store credit.

2) then maybe something about the white iPhone, but i'm hoping they won't delay it again.


All i know is if i don't have my white iPhone 4 by July 31st, I'll be flying to Cupertino to give Steve a good kick in the stones.

 

[WeegieMac]

First things first, they've not announced this press conference to shout about the initial sales.

The first thing, and keep in mind I'm sceptical at the best of times, that comes to mind immediately is that they're going to announce some form of official recall.

This will be interesting.

 

[maturola]

They will talk about what a great launch iphone 4 was. They have sold well over 2.5-3 million units now. They are going to continue with rollout with international countries like China, South korea and other parts of Europe.
They will talk about very small users have complained about iphone 4. Apple will allow people to return the product with no restocking fees. Also, apple will most likely issue 30-50 dollars apple store gift card. Since many people have already bought bumpers, they cannot just issue free ones. People will just return every single cases they have bought.
They will talk about white iphone and future software update for ipad.
Steve will probably criticize how unreliable consumer report is.

Completely agreed, this is just what is going to happen not doubt

 

[Brien]

This.

You know, that would be great.

 

[Statusnone88]

They will talk about what a great launch iphone 4 was. They have sold well over 2.5-3 million units now. They are going to continue with rollout with international countries like China, South korea and other parts of Europe.
They will talk about very small users have complained about iphone 4. Apple will allow people to return the product with no restocking fees. Also, apple will most likely issue 30-50 dollars apple store gift card. Since many people have already bought bumpers, they cannot just issue free ones. People will just return every single cases they have bought.
They will talk about white iphone and future software update for ipad.
Steve will probably criticize how unreliable consumer report is.

Oh God, I can't stress how right you are. It sickens me that this is what will actually go down.

 

[Fidget08]

If you are saying that because it says post 40, maybe you should go back and look at where they started first and second, posts 2 and 3.

haha no because it did say 37th... but you changed it

 

[Shanpdx]

Common Apple do the right thing!

not sure what is that ...

 

[jzuena]

Heres my guess:

- Free bumpers (30%)
- Voluntary recall (50%)
- Involuntary recall (10%)
- "We still think your holding it wrong" (10%)

The voluntary recall is already happening. They are giving refunds to anyone that wants one.

 

[-aggie-]

I’m just glad that there are only two days to speculate on this. How many threads will we have? Luckily, it’ll be over soon after 10 am PDT.

 

[Shanpdx]

Can geniuses at Genius bar apply some kinda of coating?

* free bumpers
* non-conductive coating
* and $20 store gift card

 

[slippery-pete]

It's going to be something pretty big to have a scheduled conference. The balls on their court for a recall, and I think they're going to be responsible and take it. If not, the Samsung Captivate is looking very appetizing.

Don't see a recall happening....The cost involved with taking back 1M+ phones, developing a fix a giving 1M+ new phones would be HUGE. Take into account the logistics involved. Could take months to accomplish

 

[Shanpdx]

It's going to be something pretty big to have a scheduled conference. The balls on their court for a recall, and I think they're going to be responsible and take it. If not, the Samsung Captivate is looking very appetizing.

it is a press conference not a demo or event ... so simple steps what they are gonna to do to fix the issue

 

[samcraig]

I’m just glad that there are only two days to speculate on this. How many threads will we have? Luckily, it’ll be over soon after 10 am PDT.

Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

 

[WeegieMac]

Oh God, I can't stress how right you are. It sickens me that this is what will actually go down.

Sorry, do you have access to the script for Friday?

Stop talking in absolutes, you know absolutely NOTHING about what will "go down" on Friday.