"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln
Got a tip for us?
Let us know
Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.
Corny Jokes and One Liners
- Thread starter renewed
- Start date
- Sort by reaction score
That's not nearly as funny in octal.
Because 7 10 11
The Canadian version uses hexadecimal.
Because 7 8 9 A (7 ate 9, eh)
A baby seal Walked into a club...
[doublepost=1511319121][/doublepost]
Now that one made me laugh out loud. I even snorted.
What is black, white, black, white, black, white?
[doublepost=1511494058][/doublepost]
Really? This is an ancient riddle I learned as a kid. A big, red rock eater.
[doublepost=1511494058][/doublepost]
Lol, now that is one swave sexual harassment pickup lineup I ever heard one.
Last edited:
Lol, now that is swave sexual harassment pickup lineup I ever heard one.
Yea, I would never even consider using it, but it is funny
I admit that somewhat works, but the funny answer is a nun falling down a flight of stairs although it does not seem to be as funny as when I was a kid. It’s one of those jokes based on potentially serious injury, which is somewhat related to slapstick. I grew up watching the 3 Stooges hitting each other on the head with hammers. Here is another, that I laughed at as a kid.
What is yellow and black and screams? A school bus driving off a cliff.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
People from around the globe were welcomed to the First Annual Flat Earth International Conference.
One of the first jokes I learned as a kid was:
Q: Who's bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
A: Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.
A: Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.
I suppose the proper answer should be "Mr. Bigger's baby, because he or she is a little Bigger." but as I kid I didn't think of that.
PET PEEVE ALERT!!!
Instead of he/she, just use they.
Mr. Bigger's baby, because they are a little Bigger.
By the by, Mr. Bigger baby joke made me and my daughter laugh out loud.
Ask your daughter why a bicycle can't stand up by itself.
The answer: It's two tired!
The kids asked Mom where humans came from. She said that God created Adam and Eve, who had children, and the children had children, and so on until we came to be.
Then the kids asked Dad where humans came from. He said that monkeys evolved into apes, then apes evolved into early humans, then early humans evolved into modern humans, like us.
The kids went back to Mom and said "You told us that God created us and Dad told us that we evolved from monkeys." So Mom explained, "I was telling you about my side of the family and Dad was telling you about his!"
Then the kids asked Dad where humans came from. He said that monkeys evolved into apes, then apes evolved into early humans, then early humans evolved into modern humans, like us.
The kids went back to Mom and said "You told us that God created us and Dad told us that we evolved from monkeys." So Mom explained, "I was telling you about my side of the family and Dad was telling you about his!"
Another Adam and Eve joke
Q: Why did Adam and Eve have to leave the garden?
A: They didn't read the apple terms and conditions!
Q: Why did Adam and Eve have to leave the garden?
A: They didn't read the apple terms and conditions!
Has anyone thought about listing all of siri's jokes?
My god this thread is older than siri integration in ios!
My god this thread is older than siri integration in ios!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.