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Corny Jokes and One Liners

Gregg2 said:
snberk103 said:
Um, what has it got to do with facts, history, and the like?
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What's any joke got to do with facts, history, and the like?



A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi are talking shop one day, and the discussion turns to how they divide up the donated money that their congregations give at their respective services to the collection plate. Specifically, how much goes to maintaining the infrastructure, and how much does the Minister/Priest/Rabbi keep to live on.

The Minister explains that that she draws a circle on the ground, and tosses the money up in the air. Whatever falls inside the circle is for her to support herself and family on, and whatever falls outside is God's, that is - for the Church and its various programs. The Priest nods knowingly, and says that he has a very similar system - except that in his case whatever money falls inside the circle is God's, and whatever falls outside is his living allowance.

The Rabbi nods, and says that his system is also similar, except it doesn't involve a drawing circle. The Priest and Minister look at him quizzically, and ask him to go on....

The Rabbi continues "I throw all the money up in the air - - Whatever God wants, he keeps...."
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15npvu8.jpg
 
velocityg4 said:
Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
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lol - never heard that one, here's one most have:

FOR SALE: French Military Guns - Never been used and only dropped once...


What's the difference between a squirrel found dead on the road and a Lawyer found dead on the road?

There are skid marks in front of the squirrel...

;)
 
Mac'nCheese said:
If the curse had come first, it wouldn't make it funny. Its funny because why would they use his name as a curse if the name didn't even exist yet. Chicken and egg type joke.
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In other words, the humor is supposed to be from the fact that the punch line doesn't make sense. The End. (mscriv) ;)
 
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Gregg2 said:
In other words, the humor is supposed to be from the fact that the punch line doesn't make sense.
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Gregg2, I can understand being upset or thinking something is in poor taste, but just let it go friend. The energy you are spending on this is simply not worth it.

You know how someone just over-analyzes something until it's no fun. That's what you are doing friend. The people that liked the joke, or at least found it humorous, are not going to change their mind based on your posts. Move on to more productive stuff because if you continue down this road it is just going to lead to more frustration for you.
 
mscriv said:
Gregg2, I can understand being upset or thinking something is in poor taste, but just let it go friend. The energy you are spending on this is simply not worth it.

You know how someone just over-analyzes something until it's no fun. That's what you are doing friend. The people that liked the joke, or at least found it humorous, are not going to change their mind based on your posts. Move on to more productive stuff because if you continue down this road it is just going to lead to more frustration for you.
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That's what a lot of people do on many boards. Some are just trolling but, others really do it. Can't stand it either way.
 
Did you hear about that new pirate movie? It's rated "Arrrrrrrr!" (I always find that one hysterically funny when I'm drunk.)
 
What is the difference between Jesus hanging on the cross or a picture of Jesus hanging on a wall?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus on a wall
 
gkarris said:
What's the difference between a squirrel found dead on the road and a Lawyer found dead on the road?

There are skid marks in front of the squirrel...
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anjinha said:
What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping out of a plane?

A world record sky diving group, and an improbably large aircraft.
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What do you call it when a cruise ship, with 300 lawyers aboard, goes down with all hands lost??







A good start.
 
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