And Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar..
The bartender says : Is this some kind of joke?
Trololol
I also love:
"They all laughed at me when I said I was going to become a comedian!, well their not laughing now!"
Edit: Didnt know if I should put this one in lol if there are any women about I am going to get run down.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with , "A man once told me... "
Check out Stewart Francis hes an amazing one liner comedian everything he comes out with is fantastic for example :
"I quit my job at the helium gas factory... I refuse to be spoken to in that tone" haha