GayWay - the gay and lesbian discussion (aka. Any Gays here?)

[iGary]

Well, I've been trying. I want to live in a big city anyways. Big cities facinate me for some reason and I just think it'd be so fun getting to ride subway and walking to work. ( The town seat of my county has 18,000 people. My actual town has about 1000. ) But, my parents are fighting the moving off thing quite hard. We've had some pretty huge fights about it so far, and I got a feeling they ain't over yet. They want me to stay in Georgia b/c I'm "closer" to home incase of an emergency and b/c it's much cheaper for me to go to college here than it is going off. Not to mention I have a house in Athens which would basically be mine if I went to Uni. of Georgia. (My aunt owns the house...She bought it for my cousin while she attends UGA, but she only has one year left.)

So, now, i'm just sorta stuck with the college thing. Not sure of what to do or where to apply. I'd love to go off, but I'm not sure I could afford to.

You could most definitely be a happy gay guy at UGA in Athens. Plus you get a hope scholarship if your grades are good enough, yeah?

 

[scem0]

Well, I've been trying. I want to live in a big city anyways. Big cities facinate me for some reason and I just think it'd be so fun getting to ride subway and walking to work. ( The town seat of my county has 18,000 people. My actual town has about 1000. ) But, my parents are fighting the moving off thing quite hard. We've had some pretty huge fights about it so far, and I got a feeling they ain't over yet. They want me to stay in Georgia b/c I'm "closer" to home incase of an emergency and b/c it's much cheaper for me to go to college here than it is going off. Not to mention I have a house in Athens which would basically be mine if I went to Uni. of Georgia. (My aunt owns the house...She bought it for my cousin while she attends UGA, but she only has one year left.)

So, now, i'm just sorta stuck with the college thing. Not sure of what to do or where to apply. I'd love to go off, but I'm not sure I could afford to.

My recommendation would be to study hard and do really well in all your classes so that you can get a scholarship. I probably wouldn't be at Parsons if I didn't get 2 scholarships (totaling to $11,000 a semester), it's just too expensive. I got a 1310 on my SATs which is pretty good, especially for an art school, I think that helped me a lot. I had a pretty good portfolio.

So, work really hard, try to get your GPA up, and see if a good scholarship can't convince your parents to let you move out of state.

edit - and there are some organizations which give students 'free-rides' through colleges if they are gay and don't have financial support from their parents because of their sexuality. I'd research that.

Well it is, but the problem with hard-core Chritianity is once you are deep in it, you are terrified what will happen if you change the way you think.

Well said.

Luckily I didn't get Christianity rooted too deep in my system as a child. It was relatively easy for me to step back, analyze what I was doing, and decide that this wasn't how I wanted to live my life.

<-----Happy agnostic.

ditto .

_Emerson

 

[noaccess]

Well, I started to like guys about half way through the 5 years of liking the first gal. I'm not sure how I ingored it so well, but thinking back I have to think long and hard to find any remberance of wanting a guy. Only thing I can really remember was being at this camp one time with the gal and going swimming. There was this UBER UBER UBER freaking fine guy there. Like, JEEZ, how can someone be that hawt.

And after I stopped liking the second girl is when I really had to face the "gay" thing. I denied it for a while and just said I was curious, then bi, and then kept going back and forth, and now just gay. But, somestimes I still fancy gals and would much prefer beign "straight". It's weird...

Yeah... it also took me some time to actually realise the fact that I liked guyz. And I agree, facing it was the hardest part.

 

[Frozone]

They'll have to face the fact that you'll have to someday be on your own two feet and have your own life. What you do after you're 18 is your business.
In the end, it's your decision, but if living in a big city is what you want, you can have that, and to achieve it you can apply for a scholarship, get a job, heck, there are a lot of possibilities.

Well, I've told them the same thing. And I think I'm better suited than a lot of kids who go off from home for college. And alot of those kids do quite well. And, I plan on applying to scholarships, but I don't think my grades are good enought to get any merit based stuff, and the ones that are essay based are a long shot at best, since the main class i've always struggled in is...English. I'm hoping my parents are poor enough that FAFSA helps out alot, and I've already got a job. But, can't really save up much money b/c I buy my own gas (3.29$, grr) and generally pay for my own food and expenses for most things.

But, in the end everything will work out.

 

[noaccess]

Whew, good thing I've been a hardcore atheist all my life, despite everyone around me trying to brainwash me into believing all that stuff.

 

[leekohler]

If I were British I'd say "well, that's just silly."

_Emerson

But sadly, all too true. My parents think the same thing. BTW- no offense guys, but still think we should've let the South secede.

 

[Frozone]

You could most definitely be a happy gay guy at UGA in Athens. Plus you get a hope scholarship if your grades are good enough, yeah?

Yep, If I attended the University of Georgia, I would get the HOPE scholarship. I could probably go to UGA for 4-5 years for as little as 10,000$. Heck, possibly even less. I'm just not quite sure I wanna go there, espically since EVERYONE I know is going there. And, I'm not quite comfortable telling anyone I currently know that I like guys. (Except one person who knows) So, If I went to UGA it'd be HS all over, just on a College level.

edit - and there are some organizations which give students 'free-rides' through colleges if they are gay and don't have financial support from their parents because of their sexuality. I'd research that.

By doing this I would more than likely have to tell my parents. Which, isn't happening. The thought alone is terrifying. Lol!

 

[iGary]

But sadly, all too true. My parents think the same thing. BTW- no offense guys, but still think we should've let the South secede.

My folks were never very religious. Rob's folks - well his entire family - are just out there.

He usually calls me within 12 hours of his arrival in Shreveport to tell me he wants to come home in the worst way.

Still, he loves his family...I have to respect it.

 

[noaccess]

But, can't really save up much money b/c I buy my own gas (3.29$, grr) and generally pay for my own food and expenses for most things.

But, in the end everything will work out.

The bright side is you're home-trained to pay for most of the things you need.
And great to hear that you have a positive attitude towards all this . You're right. Everything will definitely work out .

 

[noaccess]

By doing this I would more than likely have to tell my parents. Which, isn't happening. The thought alone is terrifying. Lol!

Hey... Hope you're not losing hope already ! Keep your head up, worrying ain't gonna get you where you want.
I'm sure you'll make the right decision.

 

[scem0]

By doing this I would more than likely have to tell my parents. Which, isn't happening. The thought alone is terrifying. Lol!

It is and that's understandable, but I think you'll be glad that the ball is no longer in your court. Their acceptance or lack of it is their problem and not yours.

_Emerson

 

[leekohler]

Yep, If I attended the University of Georgia, I would get the HOPE scholarship. I could probably go to UGA for 4-5 years for as little as 10,000$. Heck, possibly even less. I'm just not quite sure I wanna go there, espically since EVERYONE I know is going there. And, I'm not quite comfortable telling anyone I currently know that I like guys. (Except one person who knows) So, If I went to UGA it'd be HS all over, just on a College level.

You would still meet some new people though. And Athens, Ga. is pretty groovy. I like it there.

About telling your parents. Mine were the first people to find out, and yes they flipped! It's not fun, but they have to know at some point. I told my parents because I didn't want someone else telling them. Plus, people could'vre threatened me with telling them, which would have been bad.

 

[leekohler]

It is and that's understandable, but I think you'll be glad that the ball is no longer in your court. Their acceptance or lack of it is their problem and not yours.

_Emerson

Bingo- I agree. Until you do that, it'll always be your problem. Don't do that to yourself.

 

[scem0]

About telling your parents. Mine were the first people to find out, and yes they flipped! It's not fun, but they have to know at some point. I told my parents because I didn't want someone else telling them. Plus, people could'vre threatened me with telling them, which would have been bad.

Same here. I wanted them to be the first to know because they had so much of their hearts invested in me. They deserved to be the first to know.

Luckily it was all hugs when I came out.

_Emerson

 

[leekohler]

Luckily it was all hugs when I came out.

_Emerson

Well- what else would they do? You're so adorable.

But seriuously, you're very lucky. That is not a typical parental reaction.

 

[Frozone]

Hey... Hope you're not losing hope already ! Keep your head up, worrying about this ain't gonna make things any better.

Eh, Most of the worrying has been done. Now, I'm more in a "coast" mentality. What ever happens is gonna happen. Not much I can do to change that. So, now I just try and not worry about things. I've gotta face the music someday, but that day aint' today!

It is and that's understandable, but I think you'll be glad that the ball is no longer in your court. Their acceptance or lack of it is their problem and not yours.

_Emerson

Yeah, but it's not quite that easy. I think me telling my parents is only gonna come when I've fully accepted it. Which, could be tomorrow, or 10 years from now. But, until I've fully accepted it I dont' think I'll be coming out to my parents or any other person in my family.

 

[scem0]

But seriuously, you're very lucky. That is not a typical parental reaction.

I know, especially in Texas. I'm very grateful to have the family I have.

Yeah, but it's not quite that easy. I think me telling my parents is only gonna come when I've fully accepted it. Which, could be tomorrow, or 10 years from now. But, until I've fully accepted it I dont' think I'll be coming out to my parents or any other person in my family.

Do you know why you're having trouble accepting your homosexuality?

_Emerson

edit - I wish I could stay and chat, but I'm off to the Museum of Modern Art for an assignment. I'm going to an art exhibit that actually looks interesting:

SAFE: Design Takes On Risk, the first major design exhibition at MoMA since its reopening in November 2004, presents more than 300 contemporary products and prototypes designed to protect body and mind from dangerous or stressful circumstances, respond to emergencies, ensure clarity of information, and provide a sense of comfort and security. These objects address the spectrum of human fears and worries, from the most mundane to the most exceptional, from the dread of darkness and loneliness to the threat of earthquakes and terrorist attacks.

 

[noaccess]

Yeah, but it's not quite that easy. I think me telling my parents is only gonna come when I've fully accepted it. Which, could be tomorrow, or 10 years from now. But, until I've fully accepted it I dont' think I'll be coming out to my parents or any other person in my family.

If it helps you (and sounds like it sure does), then you should really consider what Em and Lee said. Wait for the right time to do it, like you said you would. If your parents really love you they'll do what's objectively best for you (which I sure as hell hope won't be to put you on the 'path towards God').

 

[Frozone]

I know, especially in Texas. I'm very grateful to have the family I have.



Do you know why you're having trouble accepting your homosexuality?

_Emerson

Yep, I've attended Chruch since I was a wee lil' toddler. During my pre-teen/teen years I was VERY active in Church. Anything, and everything, I would particpate in. Loved Church. And now my life is at conflict with what I've learned & known since I was born. And, it's very confusing -- not to mention terrifying.

 

[Frozone]

If it helps you (and sounds like it sure does), then you should really consider what Em and Lee said. Wait for the right time to do it, like you said you would. If your parents really love you they'll do what's objectively best for you (which I sure as hell hope won't be to put you on the 'path towards God').

LoL, with my parents, there is no right time. And to my parents, love is a funny thing. We don't "love" each other, and in fact I straight up hate them. Which, Is not secret. My mom asks me all the time If i love her and I just sorta give her a strange look and walk off. She says she loves me, but I honestly could care less.

We have a very hostile relationship. It seems weird that I would care what they think, but I'm not sure If I honestly care what they think or if it's another part of me that's scared for reasons I can't explain. It's a weird situation. lol

 

[scem0]

Yep, I've attended Chruch since I was a wee lil' toddler. During my pre-teen/teen years I was VERY active in Church. Anything, and everything, I would particpate in. Loved Church. And now my life is at conflict with what I've learned & known since I was born. And, it's very confusing -- not to mention terrifying.

in that case, iGary could probably help you more than any of us. As he said, it took therapy and money to get that tangled mess of logic out of his head.

_Emerson

 

[scem0]

LoL, with my parents, there is no right time. And to my parents, love is a funny thing. We don't "love" each other, and in fact I straight up hate them. Which, Is not secret. My mom asks me all the time If i love her and I just sorta give her a strange look and walk off. She says she loves me, but I honestly could care less.

We have a very hostile relationship. It seems weird that I would care what they think, but I'm not sure If I honestly care what they think or if it's another part of me that's scared for reasons I can't explain. It's a weird situation. lol

Yeah, you definitely need to get the hell out of there.

I'd email the heads of gay friendly organizations if getting a full scholarship isn't a possibility. They might sponsor you getting an education and getting you out of Jesusland. Do whatever you can, by staying there you'd be missing a lot, I'm afraid.

_Emerson

 

[noaccess]

LoL, with my parents, there is no right time. And to my parents, love is a funny thing. We don't "love" each other, and in fact I straight up hate them. Which, Is not secret. My mom asks me all the time If i love her and I just sorta give her a strange look and walk off. She says she loves me, but I honestly could care less.

We have a very hostile relationship. It seems weird that I would care what they think, but I'm not sure If I honestly care what they think or if it's another part of me that's scared for reasons I can't explain. It's a weird situation. lol

Lol, that's revolutionary.
But at least if she says she loves you, use that against her in the future. If she's smart, she won't deny it and... let's hope things run smoothly from here. She said it, right ?
No, just joking... that'll never work.
But there are a lot of other ways to brake out of there.

 

[Frozone]

in that case, iGary could probably help you more than any of us. As he said, it took therapy and money to get that tangled mess of logic out of his head.

_Emerson

Not quite sure I want it out, though. There's always gonna be the "what if" factor, thearpy or not.

But, Let's change the subject. Haha, almost the past whole page has been about my problems.

 

[Frozone]

Lol, that's revolutionary .
But at least if she says she loves you, use that against her in the future. If she's smart, she won't deny it and... let's hope things run smoothly from here. She said it, right ?
No, just joking... that'll never work.
But there are a lot of other ways to brake out of there.

Eh, I'm a lot more evil than that. Using her "love" is near petty in some of our wars. LoL. I'd go for more of a low blow, end all things, than making her feel bad over denying love.