Had a final call to EE to see if I could get any more sense out of them, the guy I spoke to said that the only info he had was that if someone ordered today they'd get delivery in November and that's where the rumoured November delivery date has come from; he assured me those who ordered on or immediately after preorder was opened would get delivered much earlier.
EE have totally lunched this; they may have 'underestimated the demand" but they definitely didn't "underestimate" how many they'd have on hand for launch day release. They knew exactly how many they'd have and should have informed people as they were taking their money that they couldn't guarantee launch day delivery (or any day close to that).
I don't like being lied to, this is insanely bad customer service and we're not talking about an impulse purchase of a packet of crisps, they're selling a phone and contract well over a grand. These carriers are huge companies who must have made millions on pre order day and they seem to have handed the entire preorder logistics to an intern..