BTW this little fan on HighPoint card screems like crazy.
Yes, they do that. I had one and couldn't stand it. The one I had also encountered lots of crashes anyway (in the 5,1 machine). I didn't bother to return it - just replaced with the Sonnet M2 4x4 card which is so much better (silence).
One thing, mine don't disappear during bootup, my drives vanish while in MacOS while I'm working.
Looks like you have the same SSDs as I have on my Sonnet. This issue is certainly not our equipment. Apple has to sort this out.
Edit: I know mentioning issues with a Highpoint 7101A is akin to stirring a hornets nest, but it had them so I swapped to a different card and no troubles since. That's done and dusted.