Let's make it simple: You don't need a MBP. Period. Go buy the 12" toy and be happy with it. It's all you need. It's light and thin and can fit in your man purse easily enough. It's piss poor to use, but then again - so is the new rMBP.
Wow, it sounds like you have some anger issues with Apple products. So, you bought a 12" MB, but found it to be "piss poor to use", and then you bought a new rMBP and it too is piss poor to use. That's just really tough luck on your part. I would certainly not recommend that you buy any more Apple product, because chances are pretty good you're not going to have a good experience.
I'd be willing to listen to more of your insight on the horrid state of Apple computers, but I've got to pack up my man purse and leave for a meeting.