start to finish:
iphone remote app has to be running, then under the app menu make sure the server is running (stop/start remote). then in sys prefs go to network and look up your ip address on your local network 10.0.1.xxx or 192...xxx etc... with this number in mind open up your airport admin, or router control panel and navigate to port forwarding/mapping, on some 3rd party routers its listed under gaming/applications/advanced. you'll then hit add at which point you'll be prompted for external port which should be 5010 and 5012 you can separate them with a comma or add them separately (one listing for 5010 and another for 5012, the 2nd bit of info it wants is the local ip of th machine your on (or are running iphone remote on) which will be the ip address that showed up in your network settings in the sys prefs, and lastly is the port address on the local machine, which should stay the same as the external port #. also make sure your firewall in sys prefs is either off or has the 5010 and 5012 ports open. from there you then go to a site like
http://whatismyip.org and then enter that address plus
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5010/) to the ip it gives you, that is your external ip, and by adding the 5010 it tells the router to forward that to the machine you set up in your router admin. from there it should prompt you for a user/pass it it works right. FYI this is the exact same process for creating a web server that is accessable to the world at large or ftp or any other service (you just change the port numbers for whichever service you want to run where)
for the record i've got mine working via edge and wifi over the external IP. i wish it were possible to close apps once you open them and or play quicktime movies that don't auto play. otherwise i could lay in bed and watch all my shows and not even need my bt mouse.