This post might be a bit long and hopefully not too much ranting, but in the spirit of the topic itself, this is on my mind...
I am essentially frustrated that I became more interested in the Apple devices than their utility, making choices on what to program and on what (as I am studying for computer engineering in my early 30s).
This is not about flaming or hating on Apple, but a personal retrospective about my own choices and relationship to computers. While it may sound awkward, I feel alien to the person I was before technology-wise.
I cheated myself into thinking certain things has to be this or that way, simply because I would find flaws otherwise in a somewhat perfect system. I became a perfectionist and viewed technology with that lens.
I am asking myself the question; "Is it reasonable to blame Apple?"
I'd actually say no and instead blame myself for geeking out on the devices, pundits, podcasts, YouTube etc. It's my own damn fault for taking it further than necessary and becoming "a purist".
This has been a nagging feeling for a little time, but it wasn't until I reflected on how I felt about playing games on my laptop. The games I want to play can be played perfectly, but I became worried, obsessed about finding ways to avoid damaging the hardware. Control fans, disabling turbospeed, perhaps undervolting the graphic card etc.
It's not without reason because of how expensive it is, but it is a computer, capable of running programs and should by that fact alone be a non-issue. Making any laptop run hot 24/7 is of course not the best thing, but when I worry about spending a few hours here and there, something is wrong with my own thinking.
Again, the issue is not gaming, it's how I think about the technology I personally use. Being "afraid" of how I use it, about my phone, my watch. It's a classic "the things own you", and I am rebelling.
When I look back at how I used to be (showing my age..) before being all-in Apple, I can clearly see the madness I created for myself. Never in my life did I think I would spend so much money on a laptop regardless of how much I actually like it. Never in my life have I had such an expensive mobile phone. Never in my life have I been so fuzzy about apps.
Before Apple I didn't care which phone I had, I built my own custom computers and laptops sucked. Laptops have improved, but the touchpads on Windows machines are still impressively annoying to use.
I got an iPhone, I am happy to use some of the apps and the hardware, but it was nowhere near necessary for me to buy the device I did buy.
It's not entirely about how much I have spent, but that I treat my laptop and phone as precious, fragile items. When I paid a lot of money for these devices, they sure as hell should work and handle workloads.
I'm not going to proclaim that this is my last Apple device or that I am switching or anything like of that sort. It's more of a "ffs, what am I thinking?", making me think differently how to spend money next upgrade or device replacement. This is my rant, this is my rebellion.
