I was passing by my mailbox, and heard some faint groaning emanating from within. I open it up, and lo-and-behold - it's a Christmas miracle!
My missing Mous package - stuck in a USPS black hole since the 4th with no updates - had gone from getting booted from the USPS Informed Delivery webpage yesterday for being too old, to appearing in my mailbox. They escaped from the black hole after all (hence the groans)...
Yes, both cases have a bit of curvature, but in this case, that's be expected when subject to the incredible gravitational forces of a black hole for a few weeks. You wouldn't fare too well, either