Captain Obvious, is that you?
Hey man, where you been, and what’s with the “IllIllIll” stuff?
I just wanted to tell you what a big fan I am. Once upon a time, the obvious went unsaid, but not anymore. Gosh no. Now, people who are otherwise fairly ordinary and average can hop online and tickle their dopamine receptors by going around and authoritatively stating the obvious. You know, it makes them sound like they’ve got it all together, have life all figure out.
Problem is, when I walk outside in the morning, I look around, and all I see are normal, everyday, somewhat homely, slightly overweight people who do things like trip over curbs, and jaywalk, and litter ... and I always wonder ... where are all of the together people I meet on the Internet? These Uber-confident people who state the overtly obvious as if it’s some kind of personal Yoda-like insight. Independently wealthy people with awesome jobs and perfect credit scores. Hey did you know that everyone pays off their credit cards in full every month.
It’s true! It’s totally true! I know because they tell everyone.
And they have no patience for those not as together as they are, no sir-ee bob!
Yet, I walk outside, and most people won’t even make eye contact!
I bet I know what it is. I bet the best people stay inside, perfect the rest of the population one person at a time. They don’t have time to go anywhere. Telling other people the way things are is a full time job.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to go on so much, I’m just really happy that you’re doing well, Captain Obvious.
Than you for all that you do for us. Without you, I just don’t know what we would do. Probably cross the street without looking, or go outside in the cold without a coat, or buy expensive consumer goods that cost more than we have.
Let’s face it, the word “hero” may be over-used, but in your case, it’s appropriate.
Thanks again, CO!
Talk to you later.
You’re welcome!