I can't say for certain on this case, but sometimes a more dense product has the effect of feeling premium to some people. I know when I picked up one of the LG phones, part of the reason I didn't buy it was because it was too light and somewhere in my mind that became "not as good".
I'm not saying it should weigh five pounds, but maybe that's what's happening here. They are both as premium, obviously, but maybe that can explain the issue.
If you're using heft as a measurement of quality then you're off. If you can tell the difference of less than 20 grams in most cases, which is just the weight of 3-4 US nickels, blindfolded at that to prevent bias, I'd be impressed.
In fact, given the XR's weight, doesn't it bust your logic that heavier equals better? We all know the XR isn't better than the X given its 20 gram difference, and if so, then is the XR effectively better than the XS given its weight edge, too?
Would that make the S10+ in glass and ceramic better than the XS but fall short of the XS Max even though we know that's not true? Would the same logic apply to Apple's laptops that weigh less than their PC counterparts? If heft is objectively better, than wouldn't following that line of logic allude to Apple selling crap?
Maybe that's a yes since current low-end sub $150 phones are beating out some iPhone models that are technically and realistically better than those phones, but because heft is a measure of quality, then the iPhones lose out.
And if a company can come up with excellent hardware and features, but use new manufacturing techniques to reduce weight, are their efforts in vain?
iPhone 7 (2016): 138 grams
iPhone 7 Plus (2016): 188 grams
iPhone 8 (2017): 148 grams
iPhone 8 Plus (2017): 202 grams
iPhone X: 174 grams
iPhone XR: 194 grams
iPhone XS: 174 grams
iPhone XS Max: 208 grams
Samsung Galaxy S7 (2016): 152 grams
Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge (2016): 157 grams
Samsung Galaxy S8 (2017): 155 grams
Samsung Galaxy S8+ (2017): 173 grams
Samsung Galaxy S9 (2018): 163 grams
Samsung Galaxy S9+ (2018): 189 grams
Samsung Galaxy S10e (2019): 150 grams
Samsung Galaxy S10 (2019): 157 grams
Samsung Galaxy S10+ Glass (2019): 175 grams
Samsung Galaxy S10+ Ceramic (2019): 198 grams
Huawei P20 (2018): 165 grams
Huawei P20 Pro (2018): 174 grams
Huawei Mate 20 Pro (2018): 189 grams
Xiaomi Pocophone F1 (2018): 182 grams
Nokia 7 Plus (2018): 186 grams
Nokia 8 Sirocco (2018): 160 grams
LG V40 ThinQ (2018): 169 grams
LG G7 ThinQ (2018): 162 grams
One Plus 5T (2017): 162 grams
One Plus 6 (2018): 177 grams
One Plus 6T (2018): 185 grams
Google Pixel 2 (2017): 143 grams
Google Pixel 2 XL (2017): 175 grams
Google Pixel 3 (2018): 143 grams
Google Pixel 3 XL (2018): 184 grams
And for fun, some mid-ranges and very low end phones:
Samsung Galaxy A6 (2018): 162 grams
Samsung J3 (2018): 152 grams
Samsung J4 (2018): 175 grams
Motorola Moto G6 (2018): 162 grams
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