I might ask a certain Mr AJClayton for the contact details of the lady who gave him a call... If I get a response I will post it here in full.
I'm like you, Scissors, I have no real grounds for complaint as it's still "January" although my Mac Pro 1,1 won't support Xcode 5 and so I can't compile against iOS 7. From 1 Feb Apple are making that a requirement so although iOS development isn't the primary part of my business it's still something that's pretty important to me and my customers so I do feel slightly peeved that I won't have my machine in time. Probably.
I've been in contact with my "Apple friend" again today. I followed up my conversation with her on Friday with an email explaining (again) about my iOS dev problems. I was expecting an email back, but she called (a cynical person may say that's because the contents of an email are difficult to deny whereas a conversation on the telephone is). She reassured me again that my order is on schedule, although her wording was slightly different in that she said "I see no reason why it shouldn't ship on time". Slightly less definite than 3 days ago, I thought.
Regarding the seemingly random nature of the order processing, she gave me the line about it being a "first come, first served" process so it's clearly what they've been told. To be fair to them, they're not in the factory and not in charge of logistics so perhaps they genuinely believe that and think we're just throwing our toys out of the pram when we say otherwise?
Your idea about sending a constructive email with the spreadsheet is a very good one. Once the dust settles with all of this I'll certainly be happy to let you have the contact details I've got although to be fair to the "Apple person" I'd run it past her first (not in any detail - just whether I can pass her info on to you). She seems decent enough so I can't believe she'd say no.
Let's speak about that again on Friday when we receive our machines.