Are you New England? Yesterday a friend spent nearly three hours trying to get home in NJ. Normally it’s a 30-45 minute drive.
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Are you New England? Yesterday a friend spent nearly three hours trying to get home in NJ. Normally it’s a 30-45 minute drive.
Rendering errors. I've made the same thing four times, varying my approach slightly, and it always plays back fine in the timeline. But then I go to render, and it'll spend a couple seconds on each frame before getting 20–26 frames in at which point the progress bar act's like Zeno's arrow.
Meanwhile, the preview window shows the nosiest image I've ever seen.
I thought it might be product of aggressive noise cancelation, but it remained in the path-tracing phase of rendering the whole time. I ****ing hate computers.
Meanwhile, the preview window shows the nosiest image I've ever seen.
I thought it might be product of aggressive noise cancelation, but it remained in the path-tracing phase of rendering the whole time. I ****ing hate computers.
NY actually. I heard about the nightmare driving in Jersey. And yes the trains were all screwed up last night and today. I dunno how the MTA isn't used to signals not liking the cold after several decades of blizzards and things. I wasn't anywhere near that late, but rail system is seriously messed up when it rains about 4 drops, so...
The 2nd one would be cool as a 3D-printed thing.
It could get messy if Zeno's arrow shows up, though. Well, not "messy", just...
very...
S...
L...
O...
\....
/...
\...
/
There’s a good article in today’s WSJ on NYC and NJ’s poor preparation and response to Thursday’s storm.
Thanks. I’ll check it out at work on Monday, not surprised though. That said the forecasters here were way off (a dusting to 2”), thankfully it was warm enough to wash everything away yesterday and not freeze over.
As far as coping mechanisms (with mom, etc.) my sister just laughed at me when I said, “I am so grateful I still listen to death metal.” That’s how I deal with it. Rather than copping out, I barrel through sort of growling and shrieking along.
And thinking about my job (I work two sites almost daily M-F) and how my morning supervisor told me the afternoon supervisor (and founder of the company) was also asking when I would be coming back to work while I was hospitalized. I did not know that. Hearing it yesterday made me feel less like a numbered worker drone and more like an employee they care about.
Lol! When fed up at work (which is like always
) I dial this in....but the NSFW version.
How to get out of this business partnership that’s been getting progressively worse.
That puts me in mind of when I and a few other near neighbors ("neighbor" in the boondocks can mean something under five miles away) were looking in on someone while his daughter farther upstate frantically sought a suitable caring facility for him... we dearly dearly loved him but honestly... it got to be six people pretty much sharing a 16-hour "day" with him after awhile on an ad hoc basis, and finally someone minding him overnight. We all told ourselves hey it's not like we've the sole responsibility so it's not that bad. It wasn't, but the juggling of schedules and the near adventures when he was left to his own devices for even a few hours... wow.
Usually after my third RT out there to fix the TV remote or keep him from defrosting chicken in a saucepan still in plastic wrap... I'd be screaming in my car pulling back into the driveway...
Eventually realized if I played hard rock or some seriously raucous blues "Gonna send you back to Georgia!"-- on those trips back and forth out there, it turned out that that was an excellent mood changer. It worked far better than trying to tell myself "look, you'll be like that someday too, like as not, so get a grip". No. Getting a grip is not how it works sometimes. Letting it all hang out in some fairly harmless way is what works.
At least that music shifted my internal gears and let me focus more on the fact we all really loved the guy and were not angry at him nor over our scattered inconveniences in helping look after him, but that we all had to witness the decline of a wonderful personality we'd all enjoyed being with for so long over the years. Go figure how hearing Hound Dog Taylor belt out "Gonna send you back to Georgia" can restore fondness for anyone or anything.
Most days you could not pay me to listen to that track.On my mind today: gonna be three below zero here on Black Friday. So much for any ideas of shopping that a lot of folk may have had. Standing on line at temps like that not very appealing. Why is this incoming arctic anomaly arriving so early, and not quite on the heels of an anomalous nor'easter too? We're in a winter sandwich!
That puts me in mind of when I and a few other near neighbors ("neighbor" in the boondocks can mean something under five miles away) were looking in on someone while his daughter farther upstate frantically sought a suitable caring facility for him... we dearly dearly loved him but honestly... it got to be six people pretty much sharing a 16-hour "day" with him after awhile on an ad hoc basis, and finally someone minding him overnight. We all told ourselves hey it's not like we've the sole responsibility so it's not that bad. It wasn't, but the juggling of schedules and the near adventures when he was left to his own devices for even a few hours... wow.
Usually after my third RT out there to fix the TV remote or keep him from defrosting chicken in a saucepan still in plastic wrap... I'd be screaming in my car pulling back into the driveway...
Eventually realized if I played hard rock or some seriously raucous blues "Gonna send you back to Georgia!"-- on those trips back and forth out there, it turned out that that was an excellent mood changer. It worked far better than trying to tell myself "look, you'll be like that someday too, like as not, so get a grip". No. Getting a grip is not how it works sometimes. Letting it all hang out in some fairly harmless way is what works.
At least that music shifted my internal gears and let me focus more on the fact we all really loved the guy and were not angry at him nor over our scattered inconveniences in helping look after him, but that we all had to witness the decline of a wonderful personality we'd all enjoyed being with for so long over the years. Go figure how hearing Hound Dog Taylor belt out "Gonna send you back to Georgia" can restore fondness for anyone or anything.
On my mind today: gonna be three below zero here on Black Friday. So much for any ideas of shopping that a lot of folk may have had. Standing on line at temps like that not very appealing. Why is this incoming arctic anomaly arriving so early, and not quite on the heels of an anomalous nor'easter too? We're in a winter sandwich!
Ah, below zero, I remember those days. Now, in the fall, when I come back from a trip to the store and it falls below 60°, I proclaim, It's COLD! ... and my wife rolls her eyes.
Speaking of senior care facilities, there definitely comes a time when that is better than keeping them at home. My wife's mother was living in a senior community with her father, until he passed away. It was an ideal setting, not a nursing home, but a 3 story building with 1 and 2 bedroom apartments, with a common dining room, but you had your own kitchen. The facility had a work out room and a program for groups exercise. The thing is, it's not cheap. I think they were paying $5k per month for a two bedroom apartment.
After my wife's father passed away, one of my wife's sisters talked her into coming to live with them, I suspect so they could get paid some amount to offset their mortgage, but now her Mom is lonely because the family has a life that does not really include entertaining her 24/7. I won't be surprised if she elects to go back to a senior community center, so she can have social interactions with other people her age.
I’m sorry for this. It can be as bad or worse than a divorce. Best wishes.
[doublepost=1542555348][/doublepost]The daughter of a friend (the university student and recent US citizen) and her friend are coming today. They’re staying the night then flying to California in the morning for a week’s rest.
I’m preparing lamb, spicy cold noodles, and Szechuan beans for lunch. It’s all easy low effort stuff. I’m nervous about the beans; I’ve made it a hundred times but not for six months.
They’re on their own for dinner.
@LizKat @Huntn thanks for sharing those caretaker stories. Mom is starting to feel the effects of the painkillers and get loopy. I felt a slight bit bad in laughing while she obsessed about repeating the word “chicken stock” and “chicken stock is so stupid!” while we were watching Ina Garten on the Food Network yesterday but she has been in so many rehab and hospital situations this year (and is a bad patient), assisted living is not yet an option.
The noisy music has always been a healthy escape valve for me and it’s fun. I never drugged or drank (after realizing I couldn’t hold beer and hated the effects of pot), so going to those extreme metal shows in my teens/twenties, and still listening to some of those bands now has been fantastic as far as keeping my head together when it comes to mom.
Drawing and writing help too.
Anyway, I really appreciate how open and understanding folks in this thread are and how you share advice, so my thanks.
Cold weather as long as there’s no ice/slush I am okay. That pure freezing air feels so clean and restorative to me. It does feel like we’re hitting extreme temps earlier this year, so it is something of a surprise. I hope it warms up a bit so Black Friday won’t be even more of an intense day.
The noisy music has always been a healthy escape valve for me and it’s fun. I never drugged or drank (after realizing I couldn’t hold beer and hated the effects of pot), so going to those extreme metal shows in my teens/twenties, and still listening to some of those bands now has been fantastic as far as keeping my head together when it comes to mom.
Drawing and writing help too.
Anyway, I really appreciate how open and understanding folks in this thread are and how you share advice, so my thanks.
Cold weather as long as there’s no ice/slush I am okay. That pure freezing air feels so clean and restorative to me. It does feel like we’re hitting extreme temps earlier this year, so it is something of a surprise. I hope it warms up a bit so Black Friday won’t be even more of an intense day.
yah I can do without the ice and the crusty stuff piles up in the ends of driveways. I came in from shoveling a pathway to the gas tanks the other day to find a vmail blinking on the machine. A neighbor up on one of the hill roads: "Catch-22 it appears... need some de-icer to get safely to the car and buy some de-icer... made some cinnamon rolls if you're interested... bring your own de-icer to get to the back door... yes this is bribery on tape."Now on my mind: @Gutwrench recipe for the Szechuan beans.
Being a carer for an elder is exhausting - emotionally and physically - especially at first when you don't know what to expect.
My mother was (eventually) diagnosed with dementia six years ago, having deteriorated dramatically over the previous two years.
In the earlier stages, it is harder on the person who suffers from dementia, as they sometimes have sufficient self awareness to know that things are radically wrong and that much of what they could do is no longer possible. I remember my mother saying that she felt that she had black holes in her head, and another time, saying she felt she was having what she described as "blow-outs" in her mind.
We have now had a live in Filipina carer for more than five and a half years, going on six.
But, sometimes, behaviour can become much more challenging than that infuriating habit of endlessly repeating stuff that you have already asked about.
Two aspects of the mid stage behaviour that I found especially challenging were the so-called "sundowning" (prowling and wandering at night, sometimes with extraordinary reserves of energy - something that would be completely forgotten about the following day, when the wanderer will look at you with stupefied amazement - "you mean, I did that?") and aggression and violence, which are very, very hard to deal with.
As children, my mother never hit us, - she was an admirer of the writings of Dr Spock - and was positive and encouraging and supportive.
But, when her dementia kicked in, and when prowling at night, - which would happen two to three times a week - if challenged, she was quite capable of responding with violence, attacking and landing punches like a boxer (she had been an outstanding sportswoman in her youth).
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After reading some of the posts above and having seen a video on my Twitter timeline, I've been thinking about the role technology, especially virtual reality and biomechanics, might play in elder care.
For folks who are bedridden or who pose a danger to themselves if left alone, virtual travel—even to recreations of past events form their youths—is now an option. And for many who aren't tech savvy and are unaware of how stereoscopic 3D works or how lenses can be used to simulate far sight of screens only centimeters away, I'd imagine it would be the closest real thing to magic.
There are also prosthetics that mimic human motion so accurately that no learning curve is required to get back on your legs. I saw a TED Talk in which a wearer of such prosthetics ran around, ran in place, and even danced. More recently, there have been development of what appear to be a small vest of electrodes that steady folks with Parkinson's. In one trial they first struggle to pick up an empty cup, but after donning the vest, they lift and drink from the cup with ease.
In the latter two cases mentioned, the reaction of those trying on their cyborg legs and super suits for the first time is to cry tears of joy.
For folks who are bedridden or who pose a danger to themselves if left alone, virtual travel—even to recreations of past events form their youths—is now an option. And for many who aren't tech savvy and are unaware of how stereoscopic 3D works or how lenses can be used to simulate far sight of screens only centimeters away, I'd imagine it would be the closest real thing to magic.
There are also prosthetics that mimic human motion so accurately that no learning curve is required to get back on your legs. I saw a TED Talk in which a wearer of such prosthetics ran around, ran in place, and even danced. More recently, there have been development of what appear to be a small vest of electrodes that steady folks with Parkinson's. In one trial they first struggle to pick up an empty cup, but after donning the vest, they lift and drink from the cup with ease.
In the latter two cases mentioned, the reaction of those trying on their cyborg legs and super suits for the first time is to cry tears of joy.
I realize this is difficult and sympathize with all of you going through it with a parent, relative, or friend.
I remember a long time a go, a doctor told me that if you are worried about Alzheimer’s you don’t have it, as in if your are cognizant of it, you don’t have it. But you can have dimentia, recognize and be concerned about it. I saw this in my mother who deteriorated via mental sharpness, but she knew who everyone was. Honestly, I think that is the road I am on as I can tell my mental acuity has suffered in the last 4 years. Oh, I can still manage my affairs, pay the bills on time, but I notice a definite change in things like remembering in some shows what happened last season, or all the details of a story I am currently reading. Now if I rewatch those early shows, I do remember seeing them before, but still, book reading really bothers me because Alhough I remember the broad strokes, much of the fine details gets forgotten a little too quickly. And misplacing items is more the rule than the exception. I either have a routine, always put my keys and wallet in the same place, but if I just set something down without being focused on it, then... oh boy.
My Grandmother had Dimentia and ended up in a home. I fear my parents are both going that way as well, but it could just be old age. They are definitely more forgetful than they used to be.I realize this is difficult and sympathize with all of you going through it with a parent, relative, or friend.
I remember a long time a go, a doctor told me that if you are worried about Alzheimer’s you don’t have it, as in if your are cognizant of it, you don’t have it. But you can have dimentia, recognize and be concerned about it. I saw this in my mother who deteriorated via mental sharpness, but she knew who everyone was. Honestly, I think that is the road I am on as I can tell my mental acuity has suffered in the last 4 years. Oh, I can still manage my affairs, pay the bills on time, but I notice a definite change in things like remembering in some shows what happened last season, or all the details of a story I am currently reading. Now if I rewatch those early shows, I do remember seeing them before, but still, book reading really bothers me because Alhough I remember the broad strokes, much of the fine details gets forgotten a little too quickly. And misplacing items is more the rule than the exception. I either have a routine, always put my keys and wallet in the same place, but if I just set something down without being focused on it, then... oh boy.
They also live at the other end of the country from me which makes things more difficult.
But most of all I worry what will happen to me if I go that way. With no children (so to speak), I’m not sure what will become of the two of us.
I don't remember you being that old, but what I do remember is questionable.
Just investigate possible solutions and make arrangements in advance.
Surgeries commonly needed by aging patients have vastly improved in the past ten or twenty years, that's for sure. I was astounded at the many ways in which knee replacement surgery has advanced in the ten years between times my sister experienced it. Now many people even get both knees done at once, which in itself is a mile marker in a way of the net of the advancements, since even ten years ago that was much less likely. The prosthetics are different, more durable, smaller, less brutal insult to the surrounding tissue, the drugs are different and one is weaned off them more quickly, one is up and about on foot with assistance the same day as opposed to day 2 or 3... early recovery, the knee-icings and so forth are less harassing, the exercises and PT are more efficient and less complex to keep track of, it used to be a whole notebook full of stuff, now far less daunting.
My sister was back to driving her car in a couple of weeks, I was just stunned at that, remembering back to ten years before when at that point her daughter and I were still having to supervise the PT exercises, she was still on heavy duty pain meds and any walkabouts she did were done under supervision and with aid of a walker. She is younger than I am but years of kicking 100-pound bales of hay around on a dairy farm had taken an early toll on her knee joints. Now she almostg behaves like she could give it a go again with her updated bionics. The farm days are behind her but she's happy to note that "shopping daze" adventures are once again an option.
Whoever says elderly people resist change may have to update their "conventional wisdom"... my sister's experience will have sold in a few of her contemporaries on getting knees done, when they may have been resisting the idea just based on recollections shared by people who had the surgery before all these advancements.
Always keep enough painkillers in the house!I don't remember you being that old, but what I do remember is questionable.
And no I’m not that old. Just feel it sometimes!
This depends on character rather than on children.
I have seen children move parents into homes with something akin to indecent speed, and I have seen others put a lot of time, thought, effort, energy, love, and - yes - resources - into caring for their parents.
My mother never wished to move into a home, therefore, we will try to ensure that we can fulfil her wishes as far as is possible and practicable. As things stand, she has been cared for at home for the six years since she was diagnosed with dementia, which is what she would have wanted.
However, I will say that this state of affairs has been helped by the fact that none of us have children of our own, or other 'caring commitments'. For those with families, and other such demands on their time, such a path may present a challenge.
My father had cancer (and also had a stroke), but he was an excellent patient and mindful of the challenges he presented to carers. He was lucid - and completely mentally alert and capable - until the day before he died, which meant that he was aware of, and considerate of the needs of others; we had him at home until five days before he passed away, which is what he and we both wished.
However, dementia is something of a different order entirely; the care needs are colossal - and physically and psychologically draining. This is because not least - the person cared for undergoes the shocking reversal of the growth trajectory of a child, and also becomes as self centred (and sometimes, as demanding) as a child.
In practice, in my experience, unless someone has full time live in care, it becomes almost impossible. The three or four main reasons individuals end up in care homes are, firstly, the wandering at night - for no carer can stay awake day and night - this rapidly becomes utterly exhausting.
Secondly, there is the aggression and violence - it is unfair to demand of anyone that they allow themselves to be assaulted simply because the person they are caring for (whom they love) has lost, or is losing, their mind - and this is a consideration that is much more compelling if the person who suffers from dementia is a large, powerful man; I know of cases where devoted spouses - women in their 80s - were heartbroken to have to admit their husbands to care homes, because they could no longer cope with the aggression.
Then, thirdly, there is the issue of incontinence - which progresses - which kicks in quite late but is a challenge to deal with; and fourthly, to be honest, there is the matter of carer burn out.
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Neither of us plans to go into a home. I doubt Mrs AFB will ever go to a hospital willingly. I’m not much better! But I’d sooner die at home.